Type 1 Discrimination

[willm]

My ex-wife is claiming that I am unfit to look after our young child on the grounds that I am a type 1 diabetic and there is the possibility of me being incapacitated through hypoglycaemia. Obviously the possibility exists, however I have managed my diabetes for over 20 years without it ever happening so think this is rather unfair. I put considerable effort into my sugar level control and have a good hba1c.

I realise it is a rather specific, but I am curious if other diabetics have encountered similar concerns from a partner particularly around children.

Also could this attitude towards me be considered discrimination?

 

[NicoleC1971]

Hi . I think this is a desperate attempt on the part of your wife to keep you away from your child. If there is no medical evidence that you have had hypos that rendered you incapable or put others in danger (e.g. you fainted whilst driving) then I cannot understand how type 1 diabetes could be a reason in itself. It would be discriminatory in effect.
I have 3 kids and when they were young, as I can imagine in your case, I took great pains to ensure I was prepared for hypos just because the thing I feared most was being hypo and putting my children in danger.
I assume that this has got to the stage that you are taking legal advice or is being considered in a family court ? I hope that if this is a genuine fear, rather than a tactic in a custody game, that your ex can explain her concerns and be reassured by the facts i.e. that you've got good control and good hypo warning signs etc.
If it is a tactic then good luck but it would seem very unreasonable to deny you shared custody on this basis.

 

[Deleted member 527103]

Hi . I think this is a desperate attempt on the part of your wife to keep you away from your child.

Or a misunderstanding/lack of knowledge about managing Type 1.
Thankfully, I have not experienced this level of discrimination but that which I have experienced has been down to ignorance rather than malice.

There are plenty of parents with Type 1 who look after children alone.

 

[searley]

My ex-wife is claiming that I am unfit to look after our young child on the grounds that I am a type 1 diabetic and there is the possibility of me being incapacitated through hypoglycaemia. Obviously the possibility exists, however I have managed my diabetes for over 20 years without it ever happening so think this is rather unfair. I put considerable effort into my sugar level control and have a good hba1c.

I realise it is a rather specific, but I am curious if other diabetics have encountered similar concerns from a partner particularly around children.

Also could this attitude towards me be considered discrimination?

Put it this way.. I’m T1 on insulin

I drive an HGV lorry carrying 30 tons of explosive gas

I have firearms and often carry them loaded for many hours overnight

I drive a car and motorcycle

All of which I can do because I have good control at least 2 of the above carry far more risk than looking after a child. (Which I also do)

Discrimination - probably BUT its not like you can goto an industrial tribunal

If you can’t sit and talk with her then, If you have an insurance policy that has legal cover give them a call and seek advice..

On the flip side should all T1 mothers have their children taken away??? NO

 

[searley]

Or a misunderstanding/lack of knowledge about managing Type 1.
Thankfully, I have not experienced this level of discrimination but that which I have experienced has been down to ignorance rather than malice.

There are plenty of parents with Type 1 who look after children alone.

I would guess if they were married she’d know what the risks are.. and how frequently ’serious hypos’ happen

 

[TashT1]

Whether it’s intentional or not, this is discrimination. In your position I would gather supporting evidence from my DN regarding hypo incidents, awareness & control. I’d also instruct a solicitor to advocate for you and get in touch with a local disability advocate group to lend their support.

Diabetes alone is no reason to reject shared custody of a child.

 

[willm]

Thankyou all for your replies.

It seems obvious after reading them, along with the thought that there are many successful diabetic parents out there, that there is no reason I should be treated like this.

 

[searley]

Thankyou all for your replies.

It seems obvious after reading them, along with the thought that there are many successful diabetic parents out there, that there is no reason I should be treated like this.

Personally.. pick the right battle.. discrimination isn’t it…. Legal access to your child is

Like I say if you have legal cover on any insurance then you can call them and you may be covered by your insurance for this

 

[Andydragon]

My ex-wife is claiming that I am unfit to look after our young child on the grounds that I am a type 1 diabetic and there is the possibility of me being incapacitated through hypoglycaemia. Obviously the possibility exists, however I have managed my diabetes for over 20 years without it ever happening so think this is rather unfair. I put considerable effort into my sugar level control and have a good hba1c.

I realise it is a rather specific, but I am curious if other diabetics have encountered similar concerns from a partner particularly around children.

Also could this attitude towards me be considered discrimination?

I think you need to get legal advice. Do you have a solicitor or an employee assistance scheme?

 

[willm]

I think you need to get legal advice. Do you have a solicitor or an employee assistance scheme?

I have got a solicitor and will follow their advice.

I expect the diabetic aspect is probably unusual/rare for family law disputes which was why I thought of asking here for any common experience or advice

 

[NicoleC1971]

Thankyou all for your replies.

It seems obvious after reading them, along with the thought that there are many successful diabetic parents out there, that there is no reason I should be treated like this.

Really hope you can sort it out face to face and I think others are right to caution the use of words like 'discriminatory' before you've at least ruled out the possibility that she is just an anxious mum with an irrational fear.

 

[willm]

Really hope you can sort it out face to face and I think others are right to caution the use of words like 'discriminatory' before you've at least ruled out the possibility that she is just an anxious mum with an irrational fear.

Agreed. discriminatory is the wrong word.

I only wish to be able to look after my daughter.

 

[searley]

Agreed. discriminatory is the wrong word.

I only wish to be able to look after my daughter.

Issues like this are always difficult.. but unless you’ve done something bad that would prevent you having access, then you should get it… it’s just the ‘unnecessary battle’ you have to go through to get there..

Look.. I wish you the best of luck and hope you will get to spend that precious time with your daughter