If you're getting stressed, anxious and depressed about what may or may not be 'normal' blood sugar readings then all you will be doing is raising your BG levels. I do not know of anybody who is not diabetic who tests their own blood, several times a day it seems, even as a T2 I have only tested when I've been in hospital, or when my GP has (very rarely) done it.
If you are seriously concerned about being diabetic, or even pre-diabetic, then the best thing you could do is go and talk to your GP and ask if they will test your fasting blood sugars and your HbA1c. Your HbA1c will give your GP an average of your levels over the previous 2-3 months.
These two simple tests will let you know if you have a problem. Proper laboratory tests will show what your levels are, home monitors only give an indication of your level at any one particular time. Then you can stop worrying and carry on with your life - either as a diabetic or non-diabetic. :roll: