DO OTHER UNDERSTAND YOU?

@Paul_Williams2409 I will tag @daisy1 who will post new information for you. I can really understand why you are feeling unhappy with this. I've been lucky in that my family and friends have been very encouraging to the life changes I have made. Clearly the people making these remarks are unaware of the effects that uncontrolled high blood sugar can have on a body. I'm glad you've joined the forum. There is always someone here to support you. Welcome

Hi welcome to the forum

The hospital staff told you to buy yourself a blood glucose monitor so you are obviously not being obsessive. Most of us here have one, how else would we know how well we were doing? My blood tests are annual now and if something is going wrong I want to know about it right now, not in maybe 11 months time.

I don't drink either, I find it's just a waste of my own carb allowance that I set myself. I have sparkling mineral water when I'm out. Personally I don't think it's normal to have to drink alcohol, after all it's a toxin, why give the liver more work than it needs? As to the people who tell you that a few drinks won't hurt and that you need to gain a little weight, well I usually put those type of comments down to ignorance and jealousy that they don't have my self-control.

Why do I bother to test? Because I love my eyes and feet and want to keep them. I don't think that's obsessive at all.

For me, unfortunately, it has become an obsession!
An obsession to feel well.
If by testing, eating low carb and not drinking is obsessive then that's ok!

If you know that what you are doing is working, then why take notice of what those people say. It's you that's important.
My wife has T2, and the discrepancy between what she eats and what I have to eat causes fun some times. Educate your partner is what you are trying to achieve and if she is a decent person, she should support you in every possible way.
I get, quite often, You can eat anything you like can't you?

I think that for those around us, diabetes is an invisible disease. They only see the care we take, not the complications that we are hopefully avoiding by taking that care!

I know that my partner rejected the idea that I actually had anything wrong with me - until I persuaded him to do a comparison test after eating carbs.

he was 6.6mmol/l
I was 15.7

I then explained the long term consequences of such high bgs.
It still took him a long time to grasp, but from his point of view, I don't look ill, I don't act ill, and the only symptoms I seem to display are a somewhat obsessive attention to food nutrition labels and a limited number of foods.

Only 2 days ago we had one of our cyclical little conversations, just after he had eaten a sticky toffee mousse from the Tescos Finest range (in front of me, the evil s*d)

'Oh' (he says) 'this is GLORIOUS!!! You should try some.'
'No thanks.'
'But it is great! Go on. Just a spoonful.' As he advances towards me.
'No thanks.'
'Why not? One spoon won't hurt.'
'Because I will like it. Then I will want a whole pot. And every time I see you eating it, I will be envious. And that will send my bg up. And my blood pressure. So I am better off not even tasting it.'
Silence.

Oh, go on, you should have tried it!

Sweet things don't taste sweet to me anymore.
Because I do have to do the shopping and the wife insists on treats for the grandkids, I often forget the treats the wife especially likes, simply because she can, doesn't mean she should or am I just being evil?

Firstly, well done so far Paul - sounds like you are making the right choices to manage your diabetes - great weight loss!

It can be tough at times @Paul_Williams2409 but if you can I'd either just ignore the comments - or try to educate people. If you explain the complications that soon shuts people up - be blunt "I don't want to lose my leg or eyesight", soon shuts people up.

I often get the 'I don't know what you eat comments' - I just explain that I keep my carbs low as it affects my bgs too much, and I follow a low carb high (all things relative) fat diet. If they don't get it when I've explained then I can't help them ...

My best friend said "oh you can't be that diabetic" when I was diagnosed! Sadly many people just think you've eaten too many cakes.

Just stick with it, come into the Forum when you need help, this place has changed my life.

Paul_Williams2409 said:

Good morning all. I am new here so hello to everyone.

I would like to get an understanding of how others are treated by family and friends after they got diagnosed.

This happened to me last October (2015) when the doctor said, almost as an after thought following treatment for an ear infection, "Oh and by the way the tests show you are diabetic. You'll need to loose weight, change your diet and reduce what you drink". That was it. No follow up or more advice. Just come back in three months for more tests. On top of already having blood pressure treatment.

I've had better days!

On getting home I did a bit of research and looked at changes I could make that might help. Gave up drinking, changed to what |I thought was a good diet and did more exercise. The result being since losing three stone. (down to a reasonable 12st 2lb) and feeling much better, fitter and able to stay awake during the daytime.

Back in early March I got hospitalised with septicaemia. Four or fives times a day blood sugar and blood pressure test and advised by the consultant and nursing staff to buy a blood sugar monitor and do regular testing at home.

After joining the DiabetesUK web site I took to the low carb diet. Brilliant!

In passing one evening I just said in ordinary conversation about buying a blood sugar monitor. My wife's reaction as left me feeling as though I don't really want to be with her any more (obviously not the only issue). "Your becoming obsessive with this. Not drinking isn't normal and keep taking tests is a waste of time. I'm getting sick of this". If you add to this folk who say "you need to put on a bit of weight, don't go too far", "go on just a few drinks won't hurt you", "you become faddy".

As anyone else had such reactions? If you turned to them and said "your carrying extra weight". "your drinking's a problem". They would never speak to you again but it makes me feel rather isolated and alone in managing my health.

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My husband is supportive. My wider family isnt. Especially the ones who have type2 or pre-diabetes and havent changed their eating or tried to lose weight.

I am trying to ignore it. You are doing really, really well. People are being told, even by medical people, that type 2 diabetes isnt serious, and to lose weight and all will be well. You know better. It's your body, your life, your decisions.

Maybe the ones who arent supportive envy your self control and resent your success. It not about them. Its about you and your health. I told my brother if he couldnt be supportive, he could shut up and leave me alone.

I cant understand your wife not supporting you in doing what your doctor has told you to do. And not drinking is perfectly normal. Your body, your choices.

Stick around the forum. It is a brilliant place to learn, discuss, prop each other up, and feel like you belong.

Paul_Williams2409 said:

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time and trouble to post a reply. Begins to give me back a feeling of 'belonging' again. In Wales we get the free retinal screening and last week I had the test results back. They said I had changes caused by diabetes in my right eye but didn't need treatment at this time. Test again in 12 months. That prompted a comment of well you can forget this rubbish then for another year. I almost cried with frustration.

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I'm feeling frustrated on your behalf. Well I would like your next year's tests to be better than this years (it's possible), not worse, so as Brunneria says, stick with us.

It's all about you and your choices , I like you had members of family being very sceptical about the the whole issue but I will say my wife was and still is with me all the way. Now I have made the right choices for me with many thanks to this forum and my doctor. I have dropped from 18st to 13 st in 14 month. My jeans where 44 waist and now 38 with the view of 36 by mid summer. I like you gave up drink and the dreaded weed and boy am I feeling good. I might add that some of the early sceptics in my family are doing weight watchers and gym s. I have also dropped down my doses of metformin and lixisenatide. So make the choices that you know are right for you and stick to it. I think this forum is fantastic and thanks to all on it.

Paul_Williams2409 said:

I have that all the time. Being told I am not normal in attending a wedding and not getting drunk! Must add I found giving up drinking much easier than giving up sugar,. Thanks for your lovely comment.

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I'm not normal!
I'm special!
Well, really, in actual fact, I'm weird!
I have to be so careful what goes into my body!

And if by missing out on so called normal habits at social functions, then they can please themselves. It's you that's important to you!
You have to do whatever it takes to give yourself a healthier future.

Being one of a crowd, doesn't do much good if you're suffering from the complications.

I just wonder with your wife if she does not want to think you have what will be now a life time condition and she is probably worried what the future holds for you. I think sometimes it is more difficult for loved ones to accept than the one who has diabetes It is early days and she sees it as something that is completely turning upside down the life you have together. As time goes on she will see that life has not changed that much yes you eat a bit different watch your weight and have to have blood tests sometimes but you can both still go on enjoying your life the same as you always did

Thank you for those words of wisdom. Regards.

@Paul_Williams2409

Hello Paul and welcome to the forum You have come to the right place to get plenty of support. We all know and understand what you need to do to help yourself. Any time you need help just login and someone will be able to help. Here is the information we give to new members and I hope you will find it useful. Ask as many questions as you like.


BASIC INFORMATION FOR NEW MEMBERS

Diabetes is the general term to describe people who have blood that is sweeter than normal. A number of different types of diabetes exist.

A diagnosis of diabetes tends to be a big shock for most of us. It’s far from the end of the world though and on this forum you’ll find over 150,000 people who are demonstrating this.

On the forum we have found that with the number of new people being diagnosed with diabetes each day, sometimes the NHS is not being able to give all the advice it would perhaps like to deliver - particularly with regards to people with type 2 diabetes.

The role of carbohydrate

Carbohydrates are a factor in diabetes because they ultimately break down into sugar (glucose) within our blood. We then need enough insulin to either convert the blood sugar into energy for our body, or to store the blood sugar as body fat.

If the amount of carbohydrate we take in is more than our body’s own (or injected) insulin can cope with, then our blood sugar will rise.

The bad news

Research indicates that raised blood sugar levels over a period of years can lead to organ damage, commonly referred to as diabetic complications.

The good news

People on the forum here have shown that there is plenty of opportunity to keep blood sugar levels from going too high. It’s a daily task but it’s within our reach and it’s well worth the effort.

Controlling your carbs

The info below is primarily aimed at people with type 2 diabetes, however, it may also be of benefit for other types of diabetes as well.
There are two approaches to controlling your carbs:

• Reduce your carbohydrate intake
• Choose ‘better’ carbohydrates

Reduce your carbohydrates

A large number of people on this forum have chosen to reduce the amount of carbohydrates they eat as they have found this to be an effective way of improving (lowering) their blood sugar levels.

The carbohydrates which tend to have the most pronounced effect on blood sugar levels tend to be starchy carbohydrates such as rice, pasta, bread, potatoes and similar root vegetables, flour based products (pastry, cakes, biscuits, battered food etc) and certain fruits.

Choosing better carbohydrates

Another option is to replace ‘white carbohydrates’ (such as white bread, white rice, white flour etc) with whole grain varieties. The idea behind having whole grain varieties is that the carbohydrates get broken down slower than the white varieties –and these are said to have a lower glycaemic index.
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/food/diabetes-and-whole-grains.html

The low glycaemic index diet is often favoured by healthcare professionals but some people with diabetes find that low GI does not help their blood sugar enough and may wish to cut out these foods altogether.

Read more on carbohydrates and diabetes

LOW CARB PROGRAM:
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/low carb program


Eating what works for you

Different people respond differently to different types of food. What works for one person may not work so well for another. The best way to see which foods are working for you is to test your blood sugar with a glucose meter.

To be able to see what effect a particular type of food or meal has on your blood sugar is to do a test before the meal and then test after the meal. A test 2 hours after the meal gives a good idea of how your body has reacted to the meal.

The blood sugar ranges recommended by NICE are as follows:

Blood glucose ranges for type 2 diabetes

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 8.5 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (adults)

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 9 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (children)

• Before meals: 4 to 8 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 10 mmol/l

However, those that are able to, may wish to keep blood sugar levels below the NICE after meal targets.

Access to blood glucose test strips

The NICE guidelines suggest that people newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes should be offered:

• structured education to every person and/or their carer at and around the time of diagnosis, with annual reinforcement and review
• self-monitoring of plasma glucose to a person newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes only as an integral part of his or her self-management education

Therefore both structured education and self-monitoring of blood glucose should be offered to people with type 2 diabetes. Read more on getting access to bloodglucose testing supplies.

You may also be interested to read questions to ask at a diabetic clinic

Note: This post has been edited from Sue/Ken's post to include up to date information.

Hello and welcome @Paul_Williams2409. Firstly, congratulations on achieving such fantastic results - you must be feeling so much better healthwise. It certainly has made a difference to your lifestyle and perhaps that's what your wife is struggling with. I hope over time she will see the benefits it is bringing you and see it more positively. Keep up the excellent work and if you need support and encouragement you will always find it here.

Hi @Paul_Williams2409, my husband and his family don't get it either or support my choices. He has never read up on typos and thinks I'm milking it when I have one. They try to get me to drink because they do and persist in offering foods they know I won't eat.
But this is about my health so I do it my way and you should too! You've seen the difference your actions make. If she cannot support you then you both need to look at the wider picture. Health wire you are on the right track. Life/relationship wise there are issued to be explored. X