wiflib - you are doing better than me already, at least you dont have to go through a whole load of self-inflicted suffering caused by complications, I rebelled and rebelled and refused to accept that its my fault, always blaming others and circumstances, anything but myself.
I had counselling, very interesting all the theories, 'ah its from childhood, your mother weaned you too early, if she had breastfed longer you wouldnt have this, its something to do with the comfort that a baby gets from suckling at the breast' - hahaha was I happy, I found yet another excuse, someone, something else to blame, but even if this had been the cause of my overeating on carbs, it didnt solve the problem.
I think the hardest part was the day that I looked in the mirror, my swollen legs with ulcers that were totally numb, my knees bleeding because I kept falling over, my make up smudged from tears brought on by retching and vomiting, yep, and finally I had the strength to say to myself 'you "!£$"%$£%$£^%$^ PRIZE IDIOT' and from then on I stuck to it and my health improved as I went along, I am not looking back, I am not going back, never ever, its a way of life and now I feel and look healthy and I am fit and happy. so the carbs can stay where they are, they are not going to mess my life any more.
And best of all, I really seriously do not miss the carbs, I have increased them to a maximum of 130g and feel on top of the world, liver, kidney, heart, cholesterol, every test absolutely fine.
On the rare occasion where I did increase carbs just for one day I felt like a slob, slowed down, lethargic, a kind of hangover effect YUK, not worth it.
Like you I thought I am intelligent, a post graduate, but I didnt recognise my addiction. You have beaten me there, I take off my hat to you.
Cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, yep we can avoid them, but not food, so it is harder, but I am telling you soon you will find that you are feeling so much better than before and the idea of carbs is no longer so tempting, no longer so stressful for you.
As with any addiction, remember its one day at a time, dont think too far ahead, just get through the day, nothing more and remember to find other treats, a new luxurious bubble bath or whatever lasts you longer than 5 jam doughnuts, personally tried and tested
When the going gets tough, come in here, chat, let off steam
Karen x