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Embarrassed 8 year old
- Thread starter twisty
- Start Date
Jen&Khaleb
Well-Known Member
Does your daughter know any other children that are T1 in the area? I would think a peer member may be helpful at your daughters age. My son (now 16 non t1) was hard to get info out of about anything at that 8-10 age. I found I'd need to take him somewhere to get some conversation rolling and then probe some of the harder questions. Long car rides where sometimes good. I know these chats really took the weight off his shoulders with things he wanted to say but couldn't find the way to bring the topics up at home. We couldn't really afford big holidays but made regular weekends away that required a reasonable drive. Getting them to talk and finding out what exactly is the problem makes it easier to find some solution. If you can get her to talk have some suggestions about what might be wrong. Is it the life long committment? The fear of what other's think? Comparisons to drug users? Fear of illness, hypos or death? Missing the carefree life before diabetes? Less appreciation of food because it requires testing and insulin before eating?
We try to keep our sense of humour in this household about Khaleb's diabetes and his Down syndrome. It isn't always easy being the pancreas fairy.
We try to keep our sense of humour in this household about Khaleb's diabetes and his Down syndrome. It isn't always easy being the pancreas fairy.
Hi twisty,
I do feel for your daughter, I remember hating 'that thing' too, and not wanting anyone to talk about it. Here's my take on it:
1) it is a perfectly normal reaction, especially so soon after diagnosis. It might help to think of it that way - that she is going through what very many of us go through as we start to come to terms with it. In fact I think I'd be more surprised if she didn't feel that way 8 mths after diagnosis.
2) Jen's advice about meeting other t1s is spot on. Try and find others of her age (or older - adults are fine too) who have t1 so she can see what is normal for t1s, rather that trying to compare herself to 'normal' healthy people.
3) The best thing you can do is make sure she knows you are there to help when she needs it, and that she knows you appreciate the hard work she is doing to cope with diabetes as well as cope with ordinary life. Make her feel proud that she can do everything AND manage 'that thing'. In fact I think in your position I'd go along with her and call it 'that thing' as well. Eventually that may let you both laugh at it, which as Jen says is very important.
Good luck!
I do feel for your daughter, I remember hating 'that thing' too, and not wanting anyone to talk about it. Here's my take on it:
1) it is a perfectly normal reaction, especially so soon after diagnosis. It might help to think of it that way - that she is going through what very many of us go through as we start to come to terms with it. In fact I think I'd be more surprised if she didn't feel that way 8 mths after diagnosis.
2) Jen's advice about meeting other t1s is spot on. Try and find others of her age (or older - adults are fine too) who have t1 so she can see what is normal for t1s, rather that trying to compare herself to 'normal' healthy people.
3) The best thing you can do is make sure she knows you are there to help when she needs it, and that she knows you appreciate the hard work she is doing to cope with diabetes as well as cope with ordinary life. Make her feel proud that she can do everything AND manage 'that thing'. In fact I think in your position I'd go along with her and call it 'that thing' as well. Eventually that may let you both laugh at it, which as Jen says is very important.
Good luck!
Hi,
Another one who agrees with Jen about meeting other T1s if possible.
I don't know if this would work with your daughter. I have a 5 year old, so not quite as old as you daughter, but I have found that, if I treat her "like a grown up" she usually responds by acting like a grown up. Obviously, I am no way suggesting you actually do "treat her like an adult" but perhaps, giving the illusion of having a grown up chat would help? I am a great believer in treating someone like a child, and they will act like a child (and this applies in all walks of life) so, as you are wanting her to act in a more mature manner, perhaps trying to engage with her, like youwould an adult might help? Obviously, along with this, has tobe the reassurance that she is acting completely normally, and not doing anything wrong, but as she gets older, and she starts being more independent...(going on a ballet trip etc?) you both need to think about what you BOTH can do, to work towards that?
Another one who agrees with Jen about meeting other T1s if possible.
I don't know if this would work with your daughter. I have a 5 year old, so not quite as old as you daughter, but I have found that, if I treat her "like a grown up" she usually responds by acting like a grown up. Obviously, I am no way suggesting you actually do "treat her like an adult" but perhaps, giving the illusion of having a grown up chat would help? I am a great believer in treating someone like a child, and they will act like a child (and this applies in all walks of life) so, as you are wanting her to act in a more mature manner, perhaps trying to engage with her, like youwould an adult might help? Obviously, along with this, has tobe the reassurance that she is acting completely normally, and not doing anything wrong, but as she gets older, and she starts being more independent...(going on a ballet trip etc?) you both need to think about what you BOTH can do, to work towards that?
Hi. My daughter is also 8 and we have the same problem. She is fine with doing the blood checks, but when it comes to injecting she likes to go off and hide too! We are quite firm with her and make her do it at the table or where ever we are, as it is hard sometimes to go off especially if I am on my own with all 3 of my kids, the youngest of which is aged 3, so we would all have to go off to the toilet which as you can imagine would be difficult.
My daughter is very anxious about doing the injection and she will look around to make sure no one is looking, which then invariably makes people look! I just normally try and reassure her that no one is looking, but she still gets annoyed about it.
My son and husband also have type 1 so she is surrounded by other diabetics all the time and there is also another boy in her year at school too, so you would of thought that she would not of felt different, but clearly she doesn't want people to notice.
My son is already pumping and my daughter will be getting a pump at the end of this month. she will then have a remote controlled hand set which will solve our problem.
I'm afraid I don't really know what the answer is, I guess some children are just more sensitive than others. I think you will have to continue to reassure her and try and convince her that it doesn't matter and that no one is looking at her. A pump is one solution but she may have issues with having a decice attached to her. Your daughter is more than welcome to PM my dAugheter and may be they could chat with each other and discuss the way they both feel.
My daughter is very anxious about doing the injection and she will look around to make sure no one is looking, which then invariably makes people look! I just normally try and reassure her that no one is looking, but she still gets annoyed about it.
My son and husband also have type 1 so she is surrounded by other diabetics all the time and there is also another boy in her year at school too, so you would of thought that she would not of felt different, but clearly she doesn't want people to notice.
My son is already pumping and my daughter will be getting a pump at the end of this month. she will then have a remote controlled hand set which will solve our problem.
I'm afraid I don't really know what the answer is, I guess some children are just more sensitive than others. I think you will have to continue to reassure her and try and convince her that it doesn't matter and that no one is looking at her. A pump is one solution but she may have issues with having a decice attached to her. Your daughter is more than welcome to PM my dAugheter and may be they could chat with each other and discuss the way they both feel.
