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excluded from end of term party

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donnamum

Well-Known Member
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170
Last week my daughters teacher arranged an end of term party. Cakes crisps, coke all the usuall party food. My daughter is type 1 as most of you know. Her teacher told her she was not to eat anything as they had not cleared it with me.I go in every lunch time to do injections and am always contactable via mobile. She was left crying all afternoon, as well as being teased by a group of boys that are constantly making inapproriate comments about diabetics and epileptics. The only suport the teacher offered was to say 'its not about the food its about the people and the celebration' When i asked why this had happened she said she couldn't discuss it with me as it wa a surprise for the children.

I'm so bloody annoyed.
 
i agree - what often happens is the mum might bring in a plate of food - there are ways round it.

def complain when they go back in sept - leeter to the governers too

Donna also have u asked the dietitians to go to the school - I know gill does this on a regular basis
 
This has made me so angry, your poor daughter, good idea ally to suggest a dietitian gives a talk at the school, can someone else talk to the children and teachers and give general information about diabetes? The boys that tease her are just being ignorant and I know children can be very cruel, but they probably do not know about diabetes and dont know that it can hit them too one day.
They ought to be educated.

Lots of love and a big hug to your daughter and I do hope that you do submit an official complaint.

Karen x
 
I have offered as much suport to school as possible. The difficulty has been another type 1 child has been happy to not take part in any activities (school trips, sports tourements etc) which as set a dangerious president.
I get the impression they think I have not accepted diagnoseis as I want her to carry on taking part in everything.

On tuesday PTA made toffee popcorn for all children so I took some in for her, so she didn't miss out. If I know i will sort it out. I don't expect them to change what they are doing, just to let me know.

dietician has not been to school but I will ask. the problem is they have not done any training since daughter was diagnosed, cant even get a meeting with new teacher for next year, and it took 4 months for them to do epilepse training.

Light at the end of the tunnel is another type 1 is starting school in september so hoping the parent will be some suport.
 
I've always REALLY wanted to do a 'hand that rocks the cradle' to bullies like that.

My darling boy (tall, handsome, clever, just graduated with a BA Hons, employed) was bullied mercilessly all his school life but he would not let me do anything about it. He refused to conform too.

I once told him when he was 6, to tell the morons that he'd rather have four eyes than four brain-cells. He came home and smiled because they were too stupid to understand what he meant!

You tell your daughter that there are parents out there who care an awful lot and would be mortified if they found out their children were doing the bullying.

Wiflib
 
This beggars belief :evil: .

As the mother of 2 type 1 daughters I can tell you that this would not stop here for me. I would take it right to the LEA , my MP, the local press and whoever else I could think of. It is unforgiveable to treat a child in this way and it's completely unnecessary. How dare they.
SM
 
diabetesmum said:
This beggars belief :evil: .

As the mother of 2 type 1 daughters I can tell you that this would not stop here for me. I would take it right to the LEA , my MP, the local press and whoever else I could think of. It is unforgiveable to treat a child in this way and it's completely unnecessary. How dare they.
SM
Click to expand...

Except - wouldn't this draw more attention to your poor daughter? Isn't it better to try and solve the problem constructively by talking to the people involved directly than to make a huge song and dance about it? If my Mum had done what you suggest to me when I was at school I'd never have forgiven her!
 
If this was the first such incident I would agree with 'lovaduck' and suggest trying to work with the teacher and the school. Often it is fear of unknown consequences which results in this type of reaction.
However,this isn't the first event. I feel you should write to the headteacher, the board of governors and the LEA and also consult Diabetes UK for advocacy help if necessary. These things can be done quietly, but firmly. The LEA is well used to parents complaining about teachers, most of the time it is unfounded(well I think so) but they do investigate and if necessary take action. Write personally to the Chief Education Officer, describing the various problems you have had and detailing both your actions and the schools responses.
As an ex primary school teacher, I find it difficult to envisage any school that I taught in behaving in such a discriminatory manner. I certainly don't think it is normal for primary school staff to act in this way (has 'child centered education' totally disapeared?). I agree that taking the matter directly to the press, though immediate, might not be in the best interests of your daughter.
The difficulty has been another type 1 child has been happy to not take part in any activities (school trips, sports tourements etc) which as set a dangerious president.
Click to expand...
There is a precedent where a boy was refused permission to go on a skiing trip because on a previous trip he had had a hypo. This was found to be discrimination in 2002. The boy was awarded
£3000, a not insignificant amount in a schools budget.
http://www.diabetes.org.uk/en/About_us/News_Landing_Page/2814/

Rereading your letter,
as well as being teased by a group of boys that are constantly making inapproriate comments about diabetics and epileptics.
Click to expand...

I would also ask to see the schools bullying policy.
 
Have you searched for another school yet?
This sort of behaviour is absolutely unacceptable. what that teacher should have done(but was too thoughtless or lazy) was to contact you and ask you to provide something for your daughter, without telling her, so it was still a secret. In fact it should be in the school's policy on what to do about children with difficulties or disabilities. Not dealing with the bullies is also unacceptable. Every school should have a bullying policy. I would go to the head teacher and demand to see it. If you get no co-operation there, contact the governors. Their names should be on the school's documentation or website
 
l0vaduck said:
diabetesmum said:
This beggars belief :evil: .

As the mother of 2 type 1 daughters I can tell you that this would not stop here for me. I would take it right to the LEA , my MP, the local press and whoever else I could think of. It is unforgiveable to treat a child in this way and it's completely unnecessary. How dare they.
SM
Click to expand...

Except - wouldn't this draw more attention to your poor daughter? Isn't it better to try and solve the problem constructively by talking to the people involved directly than to make a huge song and dance about it? If my Mum had done what you suggest to me when I was at school I'd never have forgiven her!
Click to expand...

Yes l0vaduck, of course it would be better to handle this matter 'constructively' - I am not a complete idiot.

I do, however, know that this is not the first time Donnamum has had problems with the school, they need a very loud wake up call in my opinion. As a parent I know how stressful and heartbreaking it can be to have to deal with ignorant, unfeeling, unsympathetic, arrogant people... I could go on, you get the picture. I had to deal with just such a headteacher when my older daughter was diagnosed aged 8. Fortuntately we had a very proactive and clued up diabetes team from the hospital on our side, and the head left to become a school inspector before I could unleash the local press etc on her, but I would have done it if I'd had to.

I now have extremely good working relatioships with both my daughter's schools, through 'constructive engagement'. Both my girls try not to draw attention to their diabetes, but they both also object very strongly to being treated differently because of it. If we don't fight discrimination it will proliferate.

Donnamum will no doubt deal with the matter as she sees fit, we've certainly given her quite a few ideas between us :wink:

I agree with all the comments about the bullying remarks.
Diabetesmum
 
I suggest the "napalm the valley" approach. By which I mean write to papers, MPs, MEPs, Governors, and last but not least get sound legal advice - and let the school know you've been seeking it.

Alternatively, you could campaign that the entire party was discriminatory because it did not take into account your daughter's condition. Would they force a disabled child to stay out of party games because he couldn't walk? No because they'd be hung, drawn, and quartered before the day was out. No they'd adapt the games. So too should the party have been adapted to include diet sodas, small cuts of cake, and sugar free jellies as has been suggested. Not to mention the fact they shouldn't be encouraging the consumption of sugary soda drinks in the first place.

I'd call them malevolent but I think they're just morons.
 
I agree with Lion,this is unacceptable in this day and age!!Your daughter must have been totally gutted and not to mention the psychological damage of being excluded and made to feel even more different.The bullying potential of other children passing comments about it as well.
 
Im in secondary school and the same thing is still happening to me. Im not allowed to do any races in sports even though im quite fast. Also, if we have any sort of party at school im not allowed anything and its not very nice to be left out. I would definaitly make sure that the teachers and who ever nos what is happening because its really not fair. Children with diabetes are still children and we all should beable to take part in everything and we should not be treated differently.
 
Jesus Christ the hardest thing for me in High School was finding ways to get OUT of doing sports (mainly since I was a lazy git who didn't need the exercise anyway, but also because of some bullying issues).

You need to complain, loudly. Louder than diabetesmum - you can speak up for other kids and yourself. State your case to anyone who'll listen. Argue with teachers - not rudely, not disrespectfully, but firmly and with conviction. Call local newspapers. Do not let them away with it.
 
I used to be on 2 injections a day when at school, think it was monotard and actrapid. So for me I never let on I was diabetic!!! Pretty much noone ever knew from aged 7 til when I left school! I knew exactly what would happen and that was followed by one boy finding out who on day teased me too far and I picked him up and threw him into some bikes in the bike shed! Both of us had to fork (get it???!) out for new wheels for several bikes!!!
 
Diabeteschild,

They are not allowed to discriminate against you like this - it's illegal. Diabetes is covered by the Discrimination Act or whatever it's called. If your consultant is okay with you doing sports etc, and I'm sure s/he WOULD be because exercise is always encouraged, then the school is acting illegally. Can't you get your diabetes team and your parents/carers to take this up with the school for you?

Remember, Steve Redgrave, who won 5 Olympic gold medals for rowing, is an insulin dependent diabetic!! Go for it!
Diabetesmum
 
I have spoken to my teachers and i told them that it wasnt fair and they listened at acted apon it. My head of year said that i will have first pick of what i want to do in sports day next year and if we do have partys shes told me that they will try and accomidate my needs. All my mates no whats happening and they have all backed me up. So hopefully it will get better. My mum is staying out of it because i told her i need to fight this battle myself boost my confidence but she is still helping me at home. Thank you all

Zoee
 
Hi donnamum,

To tell the truth I'm astonished at the ignorance displayed by your daughters school. Whle constructive debate has its place I think you've done more than enough over the last few months to offer the school plenty of options in managing your childs condition.

Honestly, if it was me? I'd be in the school and dragging the head over a desk, and making him/her well aware that they don't have the willpower or stamina to beat me, some people simply need TELLING what to do.

I always try the nice, friendly approach first, but you have to not be afraid to flick the switch on them. Sadly in this day and age, you sometimes need to get unreasonable with people.

It always helps if you can talk circles around them, as for some reason people are intimidated by people cleverer than them, so it helps you have thought through your argument clearly ready for any "yes but no buts".

Good luck, I would personally open up a few cans of whup-ass on them (not physically of course!).

Roy
 
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