I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in early April of 2015; My whole life I struggled with food, not what I'm eating but more of feeling like I get nothing from it. Ever since I was little I remember after breakfast every single day, whether I ate 400 calories or 1400, I still didn't feel full, not the feeling that I was hungry but like I got zero energy from it and completely lethargic. I also randomly would experience severe cold sweats and shakes, it would happen a few times in a week and then would disappear for weeks.
I remember one time before hockey having a big plate of whole wheat pasta, only to find I had no energy to skate when I hit the ice! I would constantly tell my doctor at checkups I don't feel right and the answer was always the same, have a snack of nuts between meals, eat small meals, etc.. Of course this never changed anything, I was having 6 small balanced meals a day since the time I was 16 till I finished playing hockey around 23; this changed nothing. I had blood samples taken once a year and my family physician would always say "nothing abnormal, you're a healthy young male". This was hella frustrating considering I ALWAYS felt off!
So fast forward closer to my diagnosis, I had symptoms for 12+ months, predominantly fatigue and constant sensation to want to urinate but when in the bathroom couldn't. I would say around 4 months pre diagnoses I started to feel extreme symptoms such as thirst, falling asleep uncontrollably, zero energy, muscle spasms, and UTI's. Finally one day my dad who is a type 2 diabetic decided to check my sugar on his meter which read >30 mmol/L. He freaked out and I rushed to the hospital, where they did a blood test reading a BS of 46 mmol/L. That day being told I was a type 1 diabetic received an initial reaction of a blessing and sense of relief "Finally I know what has been going on with my body all this time, and there is a way to feel better now" I thought to myself. That feeling did not last long, and shortly after faded.
It took a few weeks to get myself back to normal, I had a hard time balancing and running felt completely abnormal. I got right back into the gym, I felt a massive increase in my strength, I was eating food and feeling great and on top of the world for about 3 months, then I got sick. Everything changed that week, my sugars were high, I couldn't exercise properly I felt like a bag of ****. Following weeks I started to get low blood sugars randomly and at different times causing such a disruption in my routine, destroying my motivation to do anything. Then following was nagging injuries from hockey coming back up keeping me from doing any intense form of activity, my sugars regularly became higher and unpredictable more so.
I consulted with my diabetic team at the hospital and decided to try the OMNI pod for 4 months or was it 5, I forget. This did nothing but further stress me out and failed to make my sugars any lower, I had to constantly change the formula ratio for how much insulin to carbs I needed, my basal rate, it would come off if I did play hockey or when climbing the latter at work. Overall it was a stressful experience which made me feel less normal which I despised. So, I decided to go back to the pen. At this point now I'm in a worked up frenzy, completely frustrated that things aren't working, constantly having to adapt, feeling like a slave to diabetes. Work became a complete nightmare and I became and anxiety case not knowing what was happening from day to day being unable to plan from hour to hour, my diabetes fell to the wayside and I felt like complete garbage for a good 3 months failing to sleep more than 3 hours a night 5 days a week. It got to the point I took a sickness leave this October trying to get a routine down and things back on track.
So far I have been unsuccessful in doing so, finding the correct balance of exercise and intensity, not to much, not to little, doing it at the right time, knowing how my body reacts to this type of food and at this time of day, correcting my insulin dose according to the time of day and what I did, all of it seems impossible to deal with. My brain is so exhausted I can't even begin to list of all the stressors diabetes has brought to my life. Every minute of every day feels as if it has to be thought out and planned precisely, I do not enjoy life this way, I thrive off the unexpected yet as a type one fear that anything can happen for unknown reasons as my blood sugars have proved in the past. All of the things you stated
@Snapsy is exactly how I feel! I needed to rant and let things out before I explode, I feel like nobody except for my girlfriend is understanding of my diabetes and expects me to just carry on as a normal person. I can barely get through a day just trying to survive, how am I supposed to function in society, work and live a normal life and not feel the symptoms of a high and low blood sugar.
With all this said I haven't given up I'm still trying things, I've just downloaded an APP mysugr which is helping me log more advanced details throughout my day and I am testing between 10-14 times in a day to figure out whats going wrong and where and I am hopeful despite the frustration and anger diabetes brings to my well-being. There has to be an answer out there, something I'm missing and I am determined to figure it out! This is my experience with diabetes, thus far.