Feeling defeated by this

I warn you this is a rant but would appreciate anything anyone can offer I'm way past rock bottom and sinking fast. Here goes -
I'm a type 1 diabetic diagnosed 10th September 1990 aged 7 years old (thats sad I remember that) and I know it was a Monday as well. My story is extensive and spans 16 years so I'll condense - been to hell and back numerous times with this Monster that lives with me. I've lost all trust in the doctors and who are there to advise me, at times I know more than they do about my own body. Admittedly I don't think they know many people who had a pancreatectomy at 16. But I always got through it and managed to fight back.
This year I'm losing the fight everytime I get up I get knocked down again. This Thing has already taken my chance of ever having kids (too many complications), my ability to live alone (night hypos), my adolescence (in hospital lots) now its going for my driving license by my choice I've lost the sight in my right eye to retinopathy and it scares me although the DVLA say you only need one eye (that does explain some people's driving), my career (I'm a Hospital Play Specialist) that I've worked years for and spent a lot of money working for.
There just doesn't seem to be an end I'm a brittle type 1 diabetic and to be honest I'm ok with the type 1 diabetic part its the brittle that I'm struggling with. They want me to go on a pump but there is no guarantee of getting this thing under control. If I'm honest I like my injections I've been doing them a long time, I don;t trust technology its tempremental and my diabetes has already got that area covered well and truely. I'm not sure I can muster the fight for the 100th time.
I've lost my confidence, my self worth, my self belief, mu independence, my career and family/friends don't understand why I'm not fighting like I normally do (kicking and screaming). I don't know what to do anymore!
I apologise for the long post

Thank you for the responses I really appreciate what you've both said my diabetes and I had a chat today, I know I sound like I should be institutionalised but after 20 years it becomes its person at times. And I have to say working in hospital does help me to kick my own backside occasionally.
Jopar I can understand where your coming from and yes no pancreas makes control similar to juggling jelly in a windtunnel but I looked into the pump years ago and more recently, I just feel that the disadvantages are too big to ignore. I haven't suffered a DKA in twenty years and that concerns me, I've got enough complications without DKAs as well. My consultant has been trying for 8 years to get me on a pump - I've told them I'll consider having it for 12 months and then I want it in writing that I can have it removed. My injections are like my comfort blanket I've never known anything different.
Issaqsdad I appreciate what you said I'll get past it eventually, we have to don't we. And if I'm honest I;m so used to being diabetic that I coukdn't imagine being any different. You too will find that you have more strenth than you realise and everyone on here will lend you some of theirs when needed!
Kim