Feeling...not myself!

I'm 29, T1, insulin pump (accu-chek spirit). I was diagnosed over 15 years ago whilst I was at school. For the most part of my life I have always considered myself happy, lucky in fact, to be surrounded by a great group of friends and family. I was always super healthy, exercised everyday and got a lot of enjoyment from life. I use to say to people (when they looked at me with shock when I revealed my condition) that 'there are worse things to be burdened with' and I have always felt pretty 'together' in terms of my work, social life and attitude towards my diabetes control.

I am now very happily married (first anniversary coming up at the end of November!), have a lovely home, my job is steady, well paid and fairly enjoyable as jobs go. My social life can be fun, varied and I have a gorgeous puppy who is just so brilliant. But sadly, recently something has changed.

I find it virtually impossible to be motivated about anything. I've gone from a healthy, sporty, energetic girl to a resentful person towards my diabetes. I feel as though it has held me back from various things in my life. I'm lethargic, so emotional, making silly mistakes at work infact i'm hugely behind with my work and I'm just not feeling safe when it comes to my diabetes and its control. I fear what it is doing to my body and I think about my own mortality on a daily basis. I'm unable to pinpoint one thing that has made me feel like this but I just feel like I can't get out of bed in the morning, I dont want to come to work. I forget to test my blood. I'm just not myself...

Has anyone else every experienced this complete change in feelings towards your control and if so, how were you able to overcome these feelings and get back on track?

noblehead said:

Hi Ginny and welcome to the forum.

So sorry that your feeling this way, but have you discussed your feeling with your gp or diabetes care team, there's help & support out there but you need to let them know there's a problem in the first place, type 1 diabetes can be hard work sometimes but it shouldn't hold you back from doing the things you want to do and enjoying life, I think it's better that you do ask for professional advice soon rather than later as you seem to have everything going for you.

Good luck and hope you get all the help you need.

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Thank you so much for your response, I will most definitely mention how I am feeling to my DSN. This all feels very new and alien to me, its weird and worrying as i dont feel as though anything has changed except for my control of the one main thing that matters, my health. I never thought i would feel so down and lost like this, yet still feel positive on so many other levels at the same time! If anyone does have similar experiences i would be interested to hear them.