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Feeling the Dark

T

Tron-Ir3

Newbie
Messages
3
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Hi All

I hope you and your loved ones are fine in this uncertain time.

I don't write much in the forums as I tend to read more and see whats happening, I have been a diabetic since I was 13/14yrs old that is like 35yrs with Type 1 Diabetes.

Want to know as there are certain times of months I feel so down that I have dark thoughts on how to OD on my medication and get stoned end it.

I guess sometime I feel I just can't do this anymore as not only do I have Type 1, I have crazy sciatica hip pains from years of repairing PCs on a bench before the Health and Safety act kicked in, wrecked knee and 2 years ago I damaged my left hand index and pointer finger (trigger finger damage) that just won't heal even having a splint on them constantly.

The pain and the diabetes sometime just brings me so down I feel I don't want to continue on.
Taking Paracetamol constantly I found that it makes me so fatigued and tired.

So what I am asking is do people with diabetes have dark days or am I just acting out due to the pain and the condition of type 1

Now with the lock down I feel even more down.

Thanks and take care everyone

Martin
 

Hi Martin,

Sorry to read you're in this position.
When did you last see your doc? Have you mentioned these feelings to a HCP.?
How is your BG management?
Fluctuating BGs can have a negative effect on emotion, coupled with the pain & discomfort you are having.

My apologies for all the questions. Let's see if you can find some light..

Kind regards,

J.
 
T1 is HARD. We’re much more prone to depression because of the sheer relentlessness of it. Making clinical dosing decisions several times a day with a potentially lethal drug. Even doctors get a day off from that. Add in other physical bits going wrong and it’s easy to spiral downwards into the dark.

So yes. We do have dark days. And the current situation isn’t good for anyone’s mental health an anxiety levels.

I can’t offer a cure, but you’re not alone. Have you seen the “type one stars” thread? We’re getting each other through on there, come and join us Keeping healthy BG levels will really help your mental health too. Do you have an outside space or garden where you can get a little fresh air and sunshine? Hobbies you like to do?

Keep posting, connect with people here - you’re not alone x
 
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a holiday from all the T1 stuff, and you’ve got other, constant, physical reminders alongside all the testing, monitoring, correcting that goes on, and on, and on. No, you’re not the only one who gets down in the dark because of it.
The current situation doesn’t help, but like @LooperCat says, come and join us on Type One Stars Are Us, it’s a lovely group of online friends to chat with about stuff that’s T1 and more. Hugs.
 
 
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Hello Martin
How are you doing today btw?
I am of a similar age with diabetes for the same duration staring off with pee tests/glass syrigues and here we are with pumps and fsl. So the tech has improved but I do not believe medical doctors know how to manage us any better than in the 1980s.s Yes the tech is better and maybe even the insulins but the concept is around the type 1 being educated to better manage their condition and the patient will never be as good as a pancreas at so doing Psychologically we have the burden of guilt, anger, depression and anxiety because let us face it, we could always have done better in judging the perfect dose/calculating our carbs/doing more exercise or treating a hypo better...
If you add in physical pain to your depression/anxiety then it is hardly surprising you are feeling down and I think it would be great if you can find some ways in which you can pull yourself out of this pit. The first one might be what you have done in reaching out here then in normal circumstances I'd say go an talk to your diabetes' team who will know all about diab burnout! But you could at least call them or email them to see if they have any ideas about pain management. Be open to help in any case. Other than that do try and keep up some good diabetic habits such as blood sugar measuring.
If what you said about your dark thoughts re meds, is still true, please call someone Samaritans, Sane. You are a survivor, like me, and you can't let those transient feelings beat you.
 
Hi Martin, my name is sara and believe me you are not alone,I too often have these conditions especially with pain and some thoughts as to ending it all,I was only 12 when I was diagnosed with type 1 and it drives me crazy I cant do right for doing wrong.and now as you see they have taken us off the vulnerable list for this covid 19. And I'm a community carer out on the front line but they say there are more vulnerable people then us guys,not only that but because of feeling very low daily and taking so many pain killers all the time which are not helping with the pain I'm suffering from,they now have suggested cbt counciling which I think may help but everything is getting cancelled,and too top it all off I managed to fall over and break my ankle so after 2 casts an op and metal plate and pins in my leg for the last 8 weeks I'm probably as low as you can imagine,cant drive cant go out and can work but not properly,its just so ridiculous this world right now.i dont really post much but when I saw your post I really felt not only your pain,but thought we were in the same mind.
Thanks
Sara
 
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