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<blockquote data-quote="DavidGrahamJones" data-source="post: 1416983" data-attributes="member: 245335"><p>Welcome to the forum, I hope that some of what we have to say is reassuring.</p><p></p><p>You've been through a lot and at no point should you even think it's your fault, it's about the crappiest thing that can happen to anyone and you must give yourself time.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It's essential to get control of this condition and it's not straight forward. Now you're here there'll be plenty of people to talk to in a similar position, so you are not alone. The bit I underlined struck a chord, I'm still calling the God (as I know it) a right so and so and what was his crime? There's sadly a list of friends and relatives who died young (30 - 40) from stupid things like cancer, brain tumours, leukemia (so all cancers really) and I'm not happy if it was his decision, who knows?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It's understandable that you'd be sad, it's not your friend's pregnancy making you sad, it's the constant reminder of your loss that's making you sad. As for you being selfish, how ridiculous, does she not know what torment you're going through? She is the one being selfish, not you. As for considering yourself, it sounds like you might be the only one who is considering you, perhaps she should care a bit more about how you must feel. Look after number one first, then worry about everyone else.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think you should be angry, I also think it will pass, maybe not tomorrow or next week, but it will pass and you should give yourself some slack, don't beat yourself up and don't compare yourself to other people who have lost babies, you are special. Your husband can't be having a great time either, I hope you can talk to each other about your feelings and help each other.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I wish I could wave a wand and make it all better now, it's going to take time. I'm 65 in June and about the only thing I am sure of apart from there being an end, is that things always improve and get better, it's a question of time. Look after yourself (and your partner). Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DavidGrahamJones, post: 1416983, member: 245335"] Welcome to the forum, I hope that some of what we have to say is reassuring. You've been through a lot and at no point should you even think it's your fault, it's about the crappiest thing that can happen to anyone and you must give yourself time. It's essential to get control of this condition and it's not straight forward. Now you're here there'll be plenty of people to talk to in a similar position, so you are not alone. The bit I underlined struck a chord, I'm still calling the God (as I know it) a right so and so and what was his crime? There's sadly a list of friends and relatives who died young (30 - 40) from stupid things like cancer, brain tumours, leukemia (so all cancers really) and I'm not happy if it was his decision, who knows? It's understandable that you'd be sad, it's not your friend's pregnancy making you sad, it's the constant reminder of your loss that's making you sad. As for you being selfish, how ridiculous, does she not know what torment you're going through? She is the one being selfish, not you. As for considering yourself, it sounds like you might be the only one who is considering you, perhaps she should care a bit more about how you must feel. Look after number one first, then worry about everyone else. I think you should be angry, I also think it will pass, maybe not tomorrow or next week, but it will pass and you should give yourself some slack, don't beat yourself up and don't compare yourself to other people who have lost babies, you are special. Your husband can't be having a great time either, I hope you can talk to each other about your feelings and help each other. I wish I could wave a wand and make it all better now, it's going to take time. I'm 65 in June and about the only thing I am sure of apart from there being an end, is that things always improve and get better, it's a question of time. Look after yourself (and your partner). Take care. [/QUOTE]
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