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Friends who are Diabetics?

G

Gem

Member
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I was just thinking today how I spent the majority of my life not knowing anyone else with my condition. I met a few people here and there but they were either not doing well with their condition or didn't understand what diabetes was and how not to treat me as though I was sick. I have a few friends/family who know of my condition but if something happens I can see how they look at me like I am sick or feel sorry for me...so its hard to not have someone to truly relate to.

I was wondering, do you have friends who are also diabetics? If you don't, how do you cope with not being able to have someone to relate to or talk to about your condition? Also how do you handle meeting new people or interests and sharing this information with them?

Gem
 
Hi,

My aunite in-law is also t1, i hardly see her but when i do we usually talk for a good few hours about diabetes as like you say it is nice to have someone like that around..

My biological dad was also t1 but he wasnt really around when i was a kid and died when i was 13, but that means my mum already knows alot about diabetes (even if i do have to update her as sometimes her knowledge is very old) :lol:

none of my friends have diabetes though. which sometimes is hard. but especially my closest friends want to know alot, how they can help and things like that, i also make it very clear that just because i have diabetes doesn't mean i always need someone to ask if i'm okay or that i'm a sick person...

my best friend especially is awesome with it, when i was first diagnosed she always wanted to put my strip in my machine and now she whispers to me 'are you low' and i check and i'm in the very low 4's.. she's like my hypo detecter i swear!

i can see why your family would look at you like you say they do, i'm sure it's because they care and sometimes it's hard to see someone have a condition such as diabetes and not be able to take it away.

When i meet someone new or someone new starts at my work place i do nothing different really. i'd like people to get to know me first and what they pick up from what i'm doing is up to them, everyone at work knows i have diabetes now and they ask how it's going (i'm hoping for a pump) and last year they raised some money for diabetes research too!

I mostly talk about diabetes on here though, even though i don't really know anybody sometimes it's nice to be able to seperate diabetes and real life, pour it out on here, i read alot on the internet too.

As diabetes is on the rise, more and more people are being diagnosed there may be someone you know who has T2 diabetes so it's not that easy to spot or a very discreet T1. you never know
 
One of my friend's at school was T1 but I didn't know for about 2 years. She hid it really well although I did notice she missed a fair amount of school. I just figured her mum was soft and let her stay home with the slightest sniffle - unlike my parents who sent me to school with the mumps for a week.

I also have another T1 friend who I knew before Khaleb was even born.

Both of the above people never really talked about their diabetes until Khaleb became T1. We suddenly became part of an elite group.
 
I felt really isolated when I was first diagnosed (aged 19). The internet did exist then but forums like this were still quite a way into the future. I didn't know any other diabetics and I wasn't sure how I felt about it, so it was difficult to know how to tell my friends about it. I tried being really open, and I got some horrendous responses: "oh that's the disease where you go blind and your legs fall off, isn't it?" was one of the first things a so-called mate said to me! A work colleague told me that she thought modern medicine had gone too far and people were being kept alive who, if left to nature, would be dead; so diabetics shouldn't really have insulin. Nice.
I also found it very frustrating having people "tell me off" for eating things they thought I shouldn't eat. When you are hypo it's hard to explain in a polite manner why you are scoffing sugar. And I got very angry when people reacted to the fact I have to inject by going "Ugh that's DISGUSTING!"
So I stopped telling people unless I really trusted them and knew they were good friends.
I didn't meet any other type 1s until about 6 or 7 years ago, when I started a new job and the bloke sitting next to me put his Humalog pen on the desk next to his keyboard. I said "I've got one of those too!" and for the first time in ages began to feel comfortable about being open again. It was fantastic to be able to have casual conversations about living with diabetes, and to look out for each other's hypos. He was very confident about it, having been diagnosed later on in life when he already kind of knew who he was, if that makes sense.
I still don't tell everyone I meet, because it's not necessarily any of their business. If it's relevant to the conversation then I will introduce it, I won't hide it, and that makes it easier to talk about - because it is in context. Usually then people ask sensible questions instead of reacting with fear or disgust. Adults are easier to tell than teens, mainly, although you do tend to get a few maternal types who want to tell you what you can eat or not, or assume that every illness is related to your diabetes. And I tend to respond to that with "no, diabetes isn't like that any more" if I want to shut them up, or I explain things if I have time.
When going to people's houses to eat, I don't have a particularly sweet tooth so I usually say with complete honesty that I don't like a lot of sweet desserts, and quite often I leave diabetes out of it; people tend to panic when cooking for "A Diabetic Guest" but have no prob just cooking normally and not worrying about the dessert.
Being able to come on here and rant helps... don't you think?
 
No friends whatsoever with diabetes and no family with this condition either. Apart from casual chats at the diabetes clinic waiting for my name to be called, I have never had the opportunity to discuss control and share experiences until I came upon this forum 2 years back.

Last year when I did the DAFNE course, I was sat in a room with 8 other people who had been type 1 diabetic from as little as 1 year since diagnosis to 40 years, all of us sitting with testing equipment and insulin pens placed in front of us on the table. Whilst I learnt a great deal from the course and improved my control as a result, one of the best things was meeting type 1's and sharing stories of our lives with diabetes (some good, some bad). Spending 5 days together talking, listening and learning and eating out together, made this world of diabetes a less lonely place, although we haven't stayed in touch, I will never forget the experience!

This is where great diabetes forums like this come into play, everyone is welcome regardless of treatment/condition and no-one is judgemental, we are all here for our own reasons, but most importantly to learn from one-another. I have made many friends on this forum, whose advice and help has not gone unrecognised, and I shall always be grateful to them!

Nigel
 
Hi,

When i was first diagnosed i didn't know a lot of people who were diabetic but as time has gone on i found that some family friends have developed it. Since my daughter started school i have met another mom who has it and we do talk about it sometimes, like the time i was trying out a pump.

I do find it a bit isolating and found it hard when i worked but that was just because of the nature of my job. No immediate family have the condition and though my husband and mother try to understand sometimes i know that they don't.

Being on the forum has helped me by asking questions and reading other threads and hopefully being able to help people by offering support or advice.

I don't always tell people that i have the condition because when i was younger and my brothers wife had their child i wasn't allowed to babysit because 'something might happen' when i did. So i kinda got into the habit of not telling people.

Sometimes its not easy living with it but you learn to trust people you can tell. Usually when they haven't got a look of disgust on their face. :lol:

Josie
 
I have many friends who are Diabetic's some on the Forum and others who I just know. I can't see any problems as I am open about the condition and if they want to know about it.......they get told !

It is just a condition and there are far worse things I could have........I just go through life as usual and adjust as and when I need to. Sometimes people wonder what can I eat or what should they do to help me.........I just tell them I can manage my own condition and for them to treat me as anyone else. If I can't eat something I say so.....not a problem as far as most of the people I have met. Just enjoy life and don't get uptight about it. Life is then so much simpler.

Ken
 
cugila said:
Just enjoy life and don't get uptight about it. Life is then so much simpler.
Click to expand...

I'll second that one Ken!
 
Hi Everyone,

The response on this topic was great! Thank you for the replies! Just to share a bit of my story, I tend to not discuss my condition with anyone at all (expect my doctors and family). This has been based on a variety of bad experiences that I had in the past. I have also been good at being "normal" and to my knowledge no one even considers that I am a diabetic so I never feel the need to share.

In high school I experienced something that, to this day it has effected me. At my school I grew up with many of the students and this was during the time when I was first diagnosed. I usually missed a lot of days and my weight would drastically fluctuate so it was difficult not to explain. One day a friend of mine saw that I had cut my finger and that it was bleeding. He then began to express his disgust and ran away screaming that he did not want to catch my "disease" and had to go and wash his face and hands. I do not know if he was joking or not but what I do remember is the horrible feeling I had and the unpleasant stares that took a while to stop.

My only experience of meeting other diabetics were at a diabetic camp and it was as though we lived in our own little world; that was then. I am older now and meet a lot of new people but this is the last thing I would ever discuss with them. Where I am from people are not as educated about this condition and usually associate it with amputations, a death sentence, older generations and so forth.

I have been lucky I guess to have been able to keep my sick days a secret when at work and healthy choices as a reason for just being...well healthy. The person I am dating (not a diabetic) has accepted my condition and will "get me in check" if I do not eat or take my medication on time. They have also taken it upon themselves to learn about my condition and we often talk about what I can do to be healthier and take less medication. However, they often fear about my future and if we were to have children. I guess this is when I have to be understanding and see things from their point of view. They have also not shared my condition with their family and I think if they did we would experience many issues.

I guess I feel scared too at times and often wish I had a friend who is a diabetic so that I could talk without bias. This forum is a good way to relate to others when having those feelings like many of you have said. I also like the idea that life is more than just being a diabetic.

Thanks for sharing your advice and stories. All the best.
Gem
 

Hi Gem, 'friendship' is quite a broad term on this site, there are loads of people whom you have never met but they will all be your 'friend'! There are some I know I can PM if I need a virtual chat and others I have exchanged numbers with for more personal chats and believe me, it can help. I totally agree, sometime you just need to speak to someone who 'gets' it!

Feel free to PM me anytime
 
Diabetes aside, a true friend is someone who sticks by your side through thick and thin, the good times and the bad, come rain or shine, who listens and doesn't interrupt, I am lucky enough to have such a friend in my life.................................my dog!!!

Nigel
 

but does your dog lick your hand when you are hypo Nigel?! not that your human friends should do that of course :lol: I saw a hypo alert dog the other day and he/she was adorable!! I want one
 
Debloubed said:
but does your dog lick your hand when you are hypo Nigel?!
Click to expand...

No he doesn't Debs!..........................nor does he lick any other parts! :roll: :lol:

Nigel
 
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