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Frustrated !

daisyduck

Well-Known Member
Messages
988
Location
Great Yarmouth
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
Hi all and apologies, but I need a bit of a rant.
I just can't seem to get through to my type 2 sister and close friend that they should be cutting their carbs down.
In 3 years my sister has gone from pre diabetic to Hba1c of 53 and this year it's 67. I do nag her .....but all I get is I am trying, but I love my sweets and cakes !
My friend has been type 2 for many years and has gradually got worse. He's on full dose Met and Glicazide, has eye problems and real difficulty walking due to neuropathy. Today he said "I think I need some cereal.. I fancy CoCo pops." I'm a bit more tactful in nagging him and said .. Have you looked at the sugar content in those ? and all I get is hehehe yes they are high.
I saw him drinking full sugar ginger beer and asked why he didn't get the sugar free ones.. his reply.. oh these were on offer so I bought loads !
I hate to see them doing this to themselves but will probably have to accept that I can't change them.. although I will keep trying !
 
Sounds frustrating to say the least, especially since your friend is experiencing complications. Do they take medication that perhaps they feel means they can eat what they like while taking it? You can't change others, all you can do is let them see how much better you are doing/feeling by cutting down on carbs and maybe one day they'll take more notice of what you do.
 
It really must be awful for you, knowing what you know and trying your best to inform and getting nothing back.
I assume they are probably not testing so don't see what their levels are.
It is harder for close friends and family as you feel you can be a bit more full on but when they chose to carry on regardless... just must make it worse.
Keep trying, they may see the light.
I wish you well
 

Yes I think this is the problem with their GP's . They just hand out the medication and no sensible advice.
 
I think a lot of the trouble lies with the NHS. I have a friend who just does as his doctor/nurse orders - increase the meds. He's now on insulin and still gets high bs, also has problems with eyes. The doctors haven't told him to cut carbs only sugar so he eats a pizza, drinks juice or beer but no cake and thinks that's ok. I just wish the doctor would wake up and take notice. Some people will only take note of someone in authority who should know what they are talking about. Very frustrating!
 
I can only offer sympathy. In the past three years my brother has gone from metformin once a day to insulin. He is a type 2 and wont change. Now we have a truce as it was interfering with our relationship, and I realise i dont want to alienate him. I just mention, when he talks about his numbers, what mine are, and leave it. Its frustrating and hard to witness, isnt it : (
 
daisyduck said:
I'm a bit more tactful in nagging him and said .. Have you looked at the sugar content in those ? and all I get is hehehe yes they are high.
Click to expand...
Yes, I know it. One of my relatives tell to me: I will never ever leave my bread and beer, even if I will live 5 years shorter. Now he has BG about 20 each day, has problems with eyes, ...

I was relatively successful with this method: use your glucometer, measure him before meal, 1h after meal and 2h after meal. Tell him, what the numbers means in relatively short time: blindness, cut of legs, dialysis. Ask him, if he wants to live as a cripple. Sometimes this brutal method works...
 
I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept their decision, as hard as that may be. If your friend had cancer and decided to not have radiation treatment, you would support them as best you could. They know about low carb, you have informed them, you've done your job, they've decided they don't want to try that woe. I know it hurts, but that's the way it is. ((Big hugs))
 
I struggle with this too.
My father is T2 and i have been through several turns of the wheel with this. But he has made some changes, and his HbA1c is lower.

The real struggle is with my frustration. Seeing people you love hurt themselves is very difficult, whether is it carb addiction, Doctor worship, head-in-sand, fingers in ears, or aspirations of immortality.

Someone else in the family has a cyclical pattern of good and bad eating. But you love them enough to not preach, don’t you? It is self defeating. They have to want to change, and you can’t do it for them.

Lost my father in law a few months ago. Smoker for most of his life. He died of lung and kidney cancer, with intestinal bleeding, Dementia and T2.

I have reached a grand old age where I would now struggle to befriend a smoker, a drinker or a practicing carb addict. If I meet them now, I will likely recognise them as great people and wish them well, before walking gently away. I’m not prepared to invite self destruction into my inner circle. There isn’t room for more.
 
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They have to want to change ... many have it inside them, many don't. Seen a couple of (non diabetic) friends destroy themselves and for all the best intentions, it comes to nought. Pretty stupid. So are drugs and smoking.
 
I am sorry for your loss xxx
 
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