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Type 1 Help and advise needed please

S

sante15

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Messages
6
Type of diabetes
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Treatment type
I do not have diabetes
I have been in a relationship with a type 1 diabetic for several months. He is extremely sensative to any type of discussion about his diabetes. He believes that he is a model diabetic and a miracle of science as he knows before he has very high or low blood sugar levels. I do not know much about diabites and may well have caused him undue stress. I am on here because I do not know if I should walk away or be more lenient. My concern is that he is very capable of managing his diabetes but his live style seems detrimental. I have a 5 year old daughter and he will regularly empty her chocolate stash in what appears to me as a total binge. He will eat 5-10 chocolate bars with milk and insists it is a sugar craving that can only be satisfied with "Cadburys" chocolate and milk. What I can not understand as a healthy eating chef, is would it not be better to have 3 square meals a day and try to keep your sugar levels regular? He skips meal or binges and I don't understand. This seems totally wrong to me. Am I being unreasonable? He eats nothing all day and then stuffs chocolate biscuits, bars... through the night?
 
Hi @sante15

Does your partner test his blood sugar? Do you have any idea about what his resukts are like?

From what you describe, his eating does sound unbalanced. He'd be better off eating proper meals as that's more likely to keep his blood sugar level. Do you know why he binges on chocolate? Is it because his blood sugar is low?
 
sante15 said:
I have a 5 year old daughter and he will regularly empty her chocolate stash in what appears to me as a total binge.
Click to expand...
Hello, welcome to the forum. The sentence above stands out to me as the most disturbing part of your story. Whatever you decide to do I feel must take your daughter into consideration first, if this is his level of behaviour. Maybe you need to distance yourself from him for her sake if not for yours.
 
He does test his blood sugar levels and says that he has to eat chocolate because it is the only way he can satisfy the craving for sugar. Are suggested gloucosue tablets or eating before bed to keep his levels regular and he gets very angry and says that it is normal to have cravings when you are diabetic. His mood changes with his sugar levels.
 


No its not normal to have sugar cravings with diabetes, does he binge all the time or do you know if he just does this when his bg levels are falling and he is having a hypo? When you have a hypo you need to eat some fast-acting glucose and I wonder if he is using this as an opportunity to binge on the chocolate and such, either way he should be eating 3 meals a day as this will regulate his bg levels better than binge eating.
 
He eats it when his bg? levels are low. He says that carbs, glucose... don't get in his system quick enough and only this works for him. When I suggest other options he gets angry and says the craving has to be satisfied. I am concerned as I suffered from domestic violence and do not want to confuse low or high blood sugar levels with aggression?
 
When his mood changes and I ask if he is in need of insulin or food he gets angry and tells me that I'm destroying our relationship.
 

Chocolate isn't the best hypo treatment as its too slow to act, it needs to be fast-acting glucose like Lucozade, Coke, Glucotabs or sweets like Jelly Babies. Over-treating a hypo like your partner does will only lead to high bg levels afterwards, I would suggest he books an appointment with his diabetes team and gets some help and guidance.
 
Writting this all down I realise I'm an idiot. As much as I love him as does my daughter he is a loose cannon. He will not get help for his diabetes. I thought my ignorance of the illness was the cause of the problem. Behaviour can be forgiven, but not when it happens over and over again. I've been a fool and for my daughters sake I have to walk away. Thank you all for your help.
 
No your not an idiot @sante15 so don't beat yourself up about it.

Try and find an opportunity to talk to him about your concerns for his health, you say he is more than capable of managing his diabetes and maybe this is just a phase of denial that he is going through, this can happen in people with diabetes and with the right support he can come through it and turn things around.
 
chocolate is actually much slower to get into the system due to the amount of fat in it and is recommended not to be used. It sounds to me like he is just using it as an excuse- especially due to the amount he is eating - that is far far to much for a low blood sugar and will cause him to run into a major high.
your poor child- she does not deserve to have her chocolate taken and she definitely needs it for her energy levels far more than he does.
 
Than you, taken onboard
 
Perhaps I'm completely wrong here but as a type one who LOVES chocolate I'm wondering if he's perhaps using his diabetes as an excuse to just eat loads of what he wants? I'd be in heaven if someone told me I had to eat chocolate to help my diabetes but sadly it's just not part of the deal! If I want chocolate I try and have it after a meal and include the carbs in my insulin calculation. I'm not convinced he's getting "sugar cravings" because he's diabetic...it sounds like he's getting them because he's human!
 
I'm relieved to hear you have decided to walk away from him. It sounds like a classic case of behaviour that leads to domestic violence. I am survivor and I have learned how to see the signs. Children should always come first, and stealing chocolate from a child shows that he doesn't understand that.

Please be careful as you plan your exit, as that can increase the risk of aggressive behaviour.
 
Absolutely. You @sante15 seem to have spotted the danger signs and are becoming a survivor instead of a victim. Well done.
As for your "partner", if he changes his mind and would like some advice, we will of course try our best to help. But he's the one who needs to ask.
I'm extremely glad too that you're not feeling you've failed him in some way. No way.
 
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