Help! I have so much weight to lose

zand said:

Andy, how could you????? I brought loads of my Dad's stuff back here, Father-in-law's too. It's not worthless junk it's treasure! You never know when you might need that sawn off piece of wood!!! Now finding it amongst everything else....that's always the tough part.

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I am sort of hovering between the opinions of Andy12345 and zand here. My dear departed mum was a hoarder. A trait I have inherited. When she died my siblings wanted to clear her home and get rid of a lot of stuff, quickly. I brought boxes of all sorts home that would have been in the bin or charity shop. It is not the things of "value" I treasure, but such things as the kitchen utensils she held, that I now use. It feels like my hand print is in hers. More importantly, she used to write on anything that was to hand, so I keep finding little notes she stuffed into vases, and her address book has lots of little messages to us.. I have yet to listen to all of the audio tapes she left. Hundreds of the things, as she lowed radio phone ins and would record them. Still haven't found one with her voice on yet.

The difficult bit is that most of the rooms in our house are getting filled with stuff, mine and departed loved ones'. I am getting to an age where if I don't clear it up soon it will be unclearable. Can't leave that to my kids. So, perhaps the mantra "Love it? Use it? Lose it!" is something I need to adopt. We need very little of the stuff we hoard. Got to be other reasons we keep stuff.

What has all this got to do with the topic of this thread? Maybe those of us who hoard maybe do so because we are putting off something we don't like, same way as we are putting off finding a way of sorting out why we have so much weight to lose.

But I will think about that tomorrow. LOL I am going to scarper now before i get unliked!

zand said:

Of course I don't have one, I only recently got myself into the last century! I didn't have a washing machine for the 1st four years of my marriage!

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No washing machine, but you had an iron?!

Andy12345 said:

maybe not a good idea to get one until you've finished the ironing, angry birds will get you, then its all over

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Angry Birds is sooo 2012 Andy12345!

Its Candycrush now. Or, for me too much time on this thread!

Andy12345 said:

lol i liked candy crush but it got so a level was taking 2 weeks, thats no fun

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Lightweight!

I'm away to find an iron. Or maybe create an ironing app!

zand said:

I had 2 irons(given to me), but no room in a small kitchen for washing machine, fridge and freezer, (the last 2 were given to us free) and no cash to buy a new fridge/freezer instead. Also not a lot of cash to re-organise an otherwise perfect kitchen. I needed the freezer because I worked full time then and it was easier to prepare food in advance. So I washed by hand and I still revert to that now sometimes when I need something washed more quickly.

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Ok, Zand

I have been there too. It was an exclamation of admiration, hand washing stuff needs an iron coz makes too many creases to be blasé about. Hard work though! Andy12345 is right. You deserve to treat yourself to an ipad.

Glad to hear you got new trainers and doing a walk at weekend. Hope the weather stays fine and the trainers don't get too muddy.
Pipp

zand said:

Yes, exactly PIpp, and that's why I brought it up. I always said I would look after myself after I had tidied the house. Yeh, right.
I feel safe here, locked in my home, with all my muddles around me. I can't stand the emptiness when the lounge is tidy. I also feel safe covered by layers of fat because no-one can see the real me beneath it all. I am trying to change, but will probably not manage to do this without counselling. I know what it is that has made me this way and I am OK (now) with it. Moving forward through all this though is incredibly difficult, and at times feels impossible.

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Zand,

I sought of guessed that, Zand, by reading your posts. Your openness, and honesty is, I think, a sign that you are moving towards peeling back some of the (emotional) layers. Like you, I have a loving family but I cannot bear to tell them how badly I often feel about myself. I like to think it is because I don't want to have them hurt as much as I often hurt, but a counsellor once suggested it is a fear of them rejecting me. Not sure which opinion I prefer.

I used to put everyone elses' needs before my own. Not just loved ones' but anyone who called on me for help. Something happened which shifted that way of thinking a few years ago. That made me vow to consider myself and the wonderful person I married as priority for my time. It has been difficult, and I often slip back into old ways, but I am getting there.

Also, I do like to laugh at life, so please, if my comments sometimes seem flippant, don't think I am criticising you or that you have to justify your reasons for doing things your way. I think you are fine as you are. I look forward to seeing your posts which are thought provoking, encouraging and inspiring.

Pipp

Andy12345 said:

"and I often slip back into old ways" ..... can i borrow a fiver please?

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Hahahahahaha! No way am I lending you a fiver Andy! Today I am the new well hard Pipp. So go see if zand will open her purse. She seems a lot nicer than me!

Pipp