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Help! I have so much weight to lose

Jamrox said:
Ok Im thick but I don't get this either. ..

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In a previous thread, I described how I had gone to bed in altogether as upstairs has been known to get to temp in 30s in summer and one night woke up screaming because something landed on a delicate part of my anatomy. We put the light on but couldn't find anything. In the morning when I woke there was a beautiful bright green cricket on the curtains which we realised had been the culprit. Scared the **** out of me in the night though!
 
Brunneria said:
It's a reference to another thread where Scandi described a night time dive bombing by a cricket in her bedroom... I think (reading between the lines) she may have been nightie-less at the time...

For some reason, it stuck in my memory...
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It certainly stuck in mine!
 
Hi, I need to express something that's just happened, maybe I'm wrong to do it here but I can't bottle this up. A very good friend (I only have 4) has just texted me to say she wants to end our relationship (so that'll be...... I only have 3... now). I haven't been around for her so much recently because I have been busy trying to catch up with things at home, after years of depression, illness and an inability to function at all (except to support my friends). I have replied by text and will try to phone later, but I genuinely don't know what I have done wrong. So that's the third time I have been devastated this week. I really do wish I was 'normal' like everyone else, I don't like being me at all.
 
Hi Zand, sorry you are having a tough week aren't you. Impossible for me to get the whole story from here, but I've never been enamoured by texting apart from matter-of-fact stuff, and I'm finding it hard to imagine that a true friend would end a relationship by text. Sounds to me there are other agendas going on at her end. I hope you manage to phone her and sort it out anyway.
 
Thanks, for this, I need your support because I am really miserable right now. and am finding it even more difficult to post stuff on the forum.
 
Hang in there Zand, but some bouncy music on! There's always a solution to these things.
 
Sounds a bit iffy. A true friend would understand that you've got your own stuff going on so can't always be there for them but know you have them in your thoughts and heart.

Don't know the history but I'd say you don't need negative, self centred people in your life.

If they fail to respond in a satisfactory way, I'd say move on and focus on people who really matter


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Diagnosed prediabetic Easter 2014. Just left to get on with it, no guidance or help from GP. Every day I'm learning something new.
 
Zand I really understand how you are feeling. I don't have many friends too and have had many friends just 'disappear' - I must be a really horrible person I have a friend at the moment who has 4 children, one with ME. I know she is very busy but I seem to do all the keeping in touch. It doesn't take long to send a quick text. ooops sorry Zand didn't mean to take the thread away from your problem.
 
You didn't take the thread away from my problem! This is a very helpful comment for me. Thanks. Well I don't think you're horrible at all. You sound very caring.

I do know that whilst I am in this state I am likely to upset other forumites with my comments again. So please if any of you have a problem with me can we discuss it and sort things out, give me a chance to apologise?
 
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sanguine said:
Hang in there Zand, but some bouncy music on! There's always a solution to these things.
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Hmmmmm...Snow Patrol at the moment.....not entirely sure that's the right CD for me, but that was what I chose just now. Still, I've realised one good thing.......I'm not reaching for food when I'm distressed anymore.
 
Yes, I agree, but I haven't been the most sociable person in the past so the few friends I have got mean the world to me. So I guess it's my own fault. I am getting a bit nervous about picking up the phone because I really don't know what this is all about.
 
OK, so I've 'phoned her. I can't tell you what was said, but the friendship is over and I'm not sure who I am anymore.
 
zand said:
OK, so I've 'phoned her. I can't tell you what was said, but the friendship is over and I'm not sure who I am anymore.
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You are still you, the new, improved you.

It hurts when a friend decides to move on without us but some people will become part of your history and not part of your future. Even if you go through life with one true friend, someone who loves you for who you are, who is there for you day and night, who will tell you when you make mistakes and laugh and cry with you, what more do you need? Quality not quantity is the answer. People who worry about how many friends they have don't see the bigger picture. One is all that is needed to get through life. You can have thousands of acquaintances but one true friend is priceless.

You are changing your outlook on life and she has chosen not to go along for the ride. You have to respect her decision as well as knowing that you can move on without her. You will get over this rejection when you process it. Ask yourself how things will change for you now that she is not around. I bet there isn't much that you will miss because you are now changing your outlook and doing all in your power to move away from your past, a past that did not make you happy.
 
zand said:
I suppose I feel a bit used because when all I could do was sit and answer the phone she was happy, and now I am finally getting a life she doesn't like it. I'm not sure if that is the reality or if I'm just bitter.
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Funny, I had a reply to your first post ghosted in the reply window. I didn't post it because I know I'm kinda cynical and people aren't always comfortable with it, LOL. Anyhoo, after seeing this, decided to post away. What I wrote was:

"Call me cynical, but sounds like the kind of friend you'd be better off without. I'd be weighing up how much support you've had from this friend vs. the amount of support you've given her over the length of the friendship? I'd almost bet there's been an imbalance somewhere along the line."

It kind of reminds me of Designerman's dilemma as well - catherinecherub has explained it a lot more kindly than I would in her post above. Basically one person has changed and the other hasn't - one feels left behind and can't deal with the changes in the other person, so they feel that the other has let them down in some fashion. Probably doesn't even occur to them that they're part of the failed relationship because they view themselves as the injured party.

I tend to think someone who would "dump" a friend via text is probably not someone I'd want in my life anyway.
 
@catherinecherub and @Indy51
Thank you both of you. I am mostly upset because I have let her down because I have been self obsessed for a while because I am trying to cope with having diabetes. I have also had other things on my mind. The conversation wasn't pleasant and yes, I will move on now. She has supported me in the past, obviously I haven't managed to do the same in return. I thought I had.

Yes Designerman's thread has been a great help to me today, I understand my own situation so much better now. My son and husband have been very supportive over this, as have all of you. Thank you
 
I have been to see the nurse for a routine blood test to check that I am taking the right amount of warfarin. At the same time I asked her to check my records for my blood group. She confirmed it as A+ , so this has been tested twice...once when I had an emergency caesarean and also when I donated blood.
 
Sorry to hear you're down Zand. I can't imagine anyone just saying they wan't to end a friendship, it must feel so hurtful, far worse than just allowing things to drift apart.

I hope you can put all the horribleness to one side. It's what I find difficult to do and have a tendency to run everything said over and over in my mind. Not much we can say to make it better, but am sending virtual hugs and support.
 
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