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Message: <blockquote data-quote="zand" data-source="post: 521469" data-attributes="member: 85197">Hi again,In my long post earlier today I said I needed to explain my reaction to a goal being scored at a footie match.  When Mertesacker scored the equaliser on Saturday, I was standing.  Everyone leapt up and down when he scored.  I sat down and cried a little and shook a lot and felt dreadful for quite a few minutes.  It wasn't always like this I used to jump about like the rest of them, then one day.......It was towards the end of last year.  I had been to one or two matches, but I wanted to go to a European match again.  (not that I have been to that many ever - too expensive)  It was just one of my ambitions after my heart procedure, I wanted to get back to normal and enjoy life again.  So, November 6th I went to Dortmund with my husband to watch Arsenal in the Champions league.  It was a miserable day, raining heavily for most of the time.  We had to get up at around 3 am to get to Luton in time for the flight.  We flew back that night, so it was 28 hours without more than a few minutes sleep. All went well until that wonderful moment when Aaron Ramsey scored.  This was amazing.  Dortmund had only lost at home once in the previous 60ish games.   We were all standing anyway, as away fans often do.   Our seats were at the front of a block so there was a walkway in front of us and then another block of seats.  Obviously the crowd went wild.  Then I felt a thud (it was either a foot or a knee) to my back, top left.  It was so painful and such a shock that I passed out and fell.  I couldn't hear the noise in the stadium anymore or see anything.  I was just aware of falling into the blackness.  Then I felt a horrendous pain and heard a  big crack and went back into the darkness.  I stayed there on the ground until my husband shook me and said 'are you OK?' I said 'no, I feel faint'.  He told me to stay where I was as people were still going wild.  I was aware of him shielding me with his body and I went back to sleep again. until he said I could get up.  I later learned that 6 men from our row stood around my husband protecting him from being pushed into me.  I was told that a (drunk) young man from several rows back had been jumping up and down on his seat and plunged forward over everyone, landing in the stand in front of me, but kicking me as he jumped over me.  I fell and broke my sternum against a metal bar which was supporting the next row of seats.  This was the 'crack' I had heard.  I also broke a rib high up on my left side.  I had landed with one foot on the ground and one knee on the ground.  Amazingly my knee was fine, not even slightly sore or grazed.  I had no bruises or marks anywhere at all.....just the 2 breaks, but no bruise.  I remained sitting for the rest of the game, watching it on the screen.  I was actually very lucky...If I the bar had hit me a bit higher up, I could have broken my collar bone, or hurt my throat, or broken my jaw, or smashed all of my front teeth or turned my nose to a pulp. I was a bit naughty and took a risk, because I didn't tell my husband that I knew that I had definitely broken something until we landed in Luton.  I didn't want anyone to stop me flying home that night.  I thought 'they' might say I had to have a check up before I flew, because I was at risk of puncturing a lung while I was in a pressurised cabin.  I did as many deep breaths as I could myself and decided my air intake was fine first...Yes I know....what if.....I just wanted to get home.Now since that night, if I am at a match and the team I am supporting scores, I panic and go to pieces.  (Arsenal have been extremely kind in that they haven't scored that many when I have been to watch them since that day). So how can I get over this fear (not sure if I should call it a phobia or not as, to me, this is a rational fear) ?  Do I just keep going and hope that it will gradually get better?  Should I stay home and grow old gracefully (boringly)? I do feel stupid when I start to cry and it has happened a few times now.  I didn't cry when the accident happened so it's pretty weak to cry now.  I am concerned that one day I will be spotted by the cameras of Match of the Day 2, and labelled as the fan with a ticket to the wrong section of the ground, because I am crying when a goal is scored.  This is all fairly trivial I know.  It's just that I want to lose weight and get fitter so that I can do things again, not so that I can sit at home safely.  Has anyone got any tips to help?</blockquote>

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