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Type 2 Diabetes
Help! I have so much weight to lose
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<blockquote data-quote="zand" data-source="post: 524848" data-attributes="member: 85197"><p>Right. I am just going to type and see what happens. I am feeling down, really down. I let one of my sons down and I am struggling with this. It's such a tiny problem, that it's not really a problem at all. He has sorted things out so it really doesn't matter. Except to me. I feel like such a complete and utter waste of space. That's not him saying that it's me.</p><p></p><p>My normal response to this situation would be to comfort eat. This was at 3 o'clock. I only had a small piece of cheese (half an ounce) and the tiniest piece of bacon for breakfast. I wasn't hungry. I had forgotten about lunch. So instead of comfort eating - (which would have started with the Belgian bun sitting in the kitchen waiting for my husband to eat ) - I had a dish of fruit - a banana (which I am allowing myself right now because I am having a few more carbs until I see my doctor) strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and blackberries with double cream. This is the first time I have ever felt like this and not resorted to comfort eating loads of carbs. You would think it was a good thing. It's not. I am in a brand new place and I still have these awful feelings and I had the chance to push the self-destruct button and didn't. I wish I had. I don't know what to do now. If I had eaten the bloody cake I would have simply failed again, told you all about it and after a couple of days picked myself back up. I just do not recognize the place I am in right now. And I still hurt because I let someone I love down. I have tried to put things right by finding the item of his that I have lost even though it really doesn't matter. I still can't find it, so I can't make myself feel better that way.</p><p></p><p>I'm not really asking for help by posting this. I just need to key it all in and see what happens next. I so wish I had eaten that cake, this is totally unfamiliar territory and I don't know what to do with these feelings of hatred and self loathing. I suppose I could try forgiving myself - my son has.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="zand, post: 524848, member: 85197"] Right. I am just going to type and see what happens. I am feeling down, really down. I let one of my sons down and I am struggling with this. It's such a tiny problem, that it's not really a problem at all. He has sorted things out so it really doesn't matter. Except to me. I feel like such a complete and utter waste of space. That's not him saying that it's me. My normal response to this situation would be to comfort eat. This was at 3 o'clock. I only had a small piece of cheese (half an ounce) and the tiniest piece of bacon for breakfast. I wasn't hungry. I had forgotten about lunch. So instead of comfort eating - (which would have started with the Belgian bun sitting in the kitchen waiting for my husband to eat ) - I had a dish of fruit - a banana (which I am allowing myself right now because I am having a few more carbs until I see my doctor) strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and blackberries with double cream. This is the first time I have ever felt like this and not resorted to comfort eating loads of carbs. You would think it was a good thing. It's not. I am in a brand new place and I still have these awful feelings and I had the chance to push the self-destruct button and didn't. I wish I had. I don't know what to do now. If I had eaten the bloody cake I would have simply failed again, told you all about it and after a couple of days picked myself back up. I just do not recognize the place I am in right now. And I still hurt because I let someone I love down. I have tried to put things right by finding the item of his that I have lost even though it really doesn't matter. I still can't find it, so I can't make myself feel better that way. I'm not really asking for help by posting this. I just need to key it all in and see what happens next. I so wish I had eaten that cake, this is totally unfamiliar territory and I don't know what to do with these feelings of hatred and self loathing. I suppose I could try forgiving myself - my son has. [/QUOTE]
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