TheSparkyPony
Well-Known Member
- Messages
- 136
- Location
- Cheshire UK
This is going to be a long thread, I warn you now, need to get it all off my chest!
I've explained most of it as much as I can! If you need something clearing up let me know.
I've been a type one diabetic for 12 years now, since I was a child. It's never been stable. Sugar levels up, down and everywhere.
When I entered my teens, control went out the window. Didn't take my insulin correctly (random boluses if I felt thirsty/high level symptoms etc) or only took it when I remembered (about once/twice a day).
I then got quite poorly as a result. Got a chest infection and ended up on ITU for a week on constant oxygen/nebuliser as my body was too weak. I also got DKA from being ill.
I recovered from that and my levels went back to normal. I went home.
My sugar levels stayed stable for a couple of weeks, then something slipped and they went back to being high. I lost all motivation for keeping them lower and the non-cooperation of the insulin began again.
And then I got DKA again. Ended up back in hospital. Regulated sugar levels, went home, good control for a couple of weeks. Slipped up, DKA, hospital again.
This vicious circle is getting worse. From the high levels I am getting reoccurring kidney/water infections, which is then sending my body back into DKA and back into hospital.
From my poor control I have neuropathy (nerve damage, numbness) in my legs, feet and hands. I have internal neuropathy (gastroparesis) which makes me full very quickly as my stomach does not empty itself properly which makes me vomit. I have hyperlipidaemia (high cholesterol) which has enlarged my liver and spleen. I also have anaemia.
I am only 20. These conditions are normally seen in diabetics who have had diabetes for 40+ years.
I just feel like I've given up. I don't know what to do. I've lost all motivation. I don't take any of my tablets and have my insulin begrudgingly. What's the point, I can't get it to work properly. I ring up the diabetes team at my local hospital who make me feel like I'm wasting their time and just tell me to keep increasing the doses.
I was put on an insulin pump last year which I fought for 4 years to get. If the diabetic team know I'm not using it properly it will be taken off me. It's helped me a lot (trust me, I was worse!) and if I lost that I don't know what I'd do.
I asked to be referred to a psychiatrist so that I could talk things through with her, as I thought I was in denial or something. She gave me a clean bill of mental health, and said I was probably just stressed with stuff. I am, I have a lot going on, but surely other people manage!
I jsut don't know where to turn. I am a nursing student, due to start my first placement in 6 weeks and just can't see myself passing and completing these 3 years without ending up back in hospital.
How can I look after other people if I can barely look after myself? How can I advise people to look after themselves and take their medication when I'm stood there like a giant hypocrite?
Sorry for the long, moany post. I've hit a wall and needed a rant, and someone to slap me and tell me I'm an idiot
I've explained most of it as much as I can! If you need something clearing up let me know.
I've been a type one diabetic for 12 years now, since I was a child. It's never been stable. Sugar levels up, down and everywhere.
When I entered my teens, control went out the window. Didn't take my insulin correctly (random boluses if I felt thirsty/high level symptoms etc) or only took it when I remembered (about once/twice a day).
I then got quite poorly as a result. Got a chest infection and ended up on ITU for a week on constant oxygen/nebuliser as my body was too weak. I also got DKA from being ill.
I recovered from that and my levels went back to normal. I went home.
My sugar levels stayed stable for a couple of weeks, then something slipped and they went back to being high. I lost all motivation for keeping them lower and the non-cooperation of the insulin began again.
And then I got DKA again. Ended up back in hospital. Regulated sugar levels, went home, good control for a couple of weeks. Slipped up, DKA, hospital again.
This vicious circle is getting worse. From the high levels I am getting reoccurring kidney/water infections, which is then sending my body back into DKA and back into hospital.
From my poor control I have neuropathy (nerve damage, numbness) in my legs, feet and hands. I have internal neuropathy (gastroparesis) which makes me full very quickly as my stomach does not empty itself properly which makes me vomit. I have hyperlipidaemia (high cholesterol) which has enlarged my liver and spleen. I also have anaemia.
I am only 20. These conditions are normally seen in diabetics who have had diabetes for 40+ years.
I just feel like I've given up. I don't know what to do. I've lost all motivation. I don't take any of my tablets and have my insulin begrudgingly. What's the point, I can't get it to work properly. I ring up the diabetes team at my local hospital who make me feel like I'm wasting their time and just tell me to keep increasing the doses.
I was put on an insulin pump last year which I fought for 4 years to get. If the diabetic team know I'm not using it properly it will be taken off me. It's helped me a lot (trust me, I was worse!) and if I lost that I don't know what I'd do.
I asked to be referred to a psychiatrist so that I could talk things through with her, as I thought I was in denial or something. She gave me a clean bill of mental health, and said I was probably just stressed with stuff. I am, I have a lot going on, but surely other people manage!
I jsut don't know where to turn. I am a nursing student, due to start my first placement in 6 weeks and just can't see myself passing and completing these 3 years without ending up back in hospital.
How can I look after other people if I can barely look after myself? How can I advise people to look after themselves and take their medication when I'm stood there like a giant hypocrite?
Sorry for the long, moany post. I've hit a wall and needed a rant, and someone to slap me and tell me I'm an idiot
