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HELP! need advice about my father and at a loss
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<blockquote data-quote="DCUKMod" data-source="post: 1946922" data-attributes="member: 345386"><p>[USER=497501]@johnross87[/USER] - My take on it is you need to have a talk with him, and tell him about the changes you have observed in him. This could be his appearance, behaviour, mental attitides to life, and ask him if he knows what it's all about. </p><p></p><p>Clearly exactly how it goes after that would depend on how he answered, but you've had some suggestions already and you'll know how accepting or otherwise he would be of any of those.</p><p></p><p>I'd try to find out what was said to him when his diagnosis was delivered. That does vary, and how folks accept the diagnosis also varies greatly. </p><p></p><p>It was explained to me that diabetes was a life-long, progressive condition, so it was a case of getting used to it and getting the hang of it. My response was along the lines of "life-long and progressive? Not on my watch.", although I did have moments of "Well, if this is as good as it gets (bearing in mind the life-long, progressive diagnosis), maybe I should be getting on with all the things I like to do, all the places I want to go and eat all the things I like to eat - whilst I can.</p><p></p><p>In reality, I have found that progressive, for me, was a two-way street. I got better, not worse, over time and I continue to be well.</p><p></p><p>If he had similar messages to mine (and it is common), then he may be just hanging onto that, and be living what he feels is life as well as he can whilst he's here, unlike my reaction being that diabetes could just get lost, as I had waaaaaay too much still to do in this life.</p><p></p><p>It really is a tricky one, and one you have to play by ear, but listen very, very hard to what he is saying. He has the answers. He has to find the strength to change and develop the desire to live a lot more and a lot better.</p><p></p><p>50? He should be looking forward to decades more fun.</p><p></p><p>As things move on, you may need someone to talk to yourself, so please don't ignore that these situations are rarely solo sports. Friends and family can easily be collatoral damage.</p><p></p><p>Good luck with it all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DCUKMod, post: 1946922, member: 345386"] [USER=497501]@johnross87[/USER] - My take on it is you need to have a talk with him, and tell him about the changes you have observed in him. This could be his appearance, behaviour, mental attitides to life, and ask him if he knows what it's all about. Clearly exactly how it goes after that would depend on how he answered, but you've had some suggestions already and you'll know how accepting or otherwise he would be of any of those. I'd try to find out what was said to him when his diagnosis was delivered. That does vary, and how folks accept the diagnosis also varies greatly. It was explained to me that diabetes was a life-long, progressive condition, so it was a case of getting used to it and getting the hang of it. My response was along the lines of "life-long and progressive? Not on my watch.", although I did have moments of "Well, if this is as good as it gets (bearing in mind the life-long, progressive diagnosis), maybe I should be getting on with all the things I like to do, all the places I want to go and eat all the things I like to eat - whilst I can. In reality, I have found that progressive, for me, was a two-way street. I got better, not worse, over time and I continue to be well. If he had similar messages to mine (and it is common), then he may be just hanging onto that, and be living what he feels is life as well as he can whilst he's here, unlike my reaction being that diabetes could just get lost, as I had waaaaaay too much still to do in this life. It really is a tricky one, and one you have to play by ear, but listen very, very hard to what he is saying. He has the answers. He has to find the strength to change and develop the desire to live a lot more and a lot better. 50? He should be looking forward to decades more fun. As things move on, you may need someone to talk to yourself, so please don't ignore that these situations are rarely solo sports. Friends and family can easily be collatoral damage. Good luck with it all. [/QUOTE]
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