helping my husband

[hazel73]

Hi everyone, im new to this, and ive turned to this for more help if possible.
My husband was diagnosed type 2 in arpil, he takes metaformin twice a day. He started losing weight at first, very slowely then it kinds stood still after just half a stone. He then got a second job and the weight was flying off as he didnt have much time to eat, but soon had to stop that as it wasnt working out. Anway hes now putting on weight again. Hes 5 7 and 16 3 at the mo, he had got down to 15 7 which was his lowest in a long time.
Right so here we go, he is one of those people, complaicent, the biscuits have started to creep in again, maybe only 2 a day. :roll: But if we go out for a meal he ends up eating a dessert, which is usually sticky toffee pudding mmmmm.
But the thing he is a bad eater, all his foods surround carbs. He does eat brown bread but the potatoes are high on his food list and he gets stroppy if i complain how many he is eating.Please take alook at what he eats and tell me how to work around this to make him lose weight.
Breakfast usually 2 weetabix with milk and that stevia sugar thingy/ or porridge made with milk and that same sugar stuff.
Lunch is usually 4 slices of brown bread when hes at work with cornedbeef, beef , chopped pork in. If not at work maybe soup or beans on toast.
dinner is usuaully chicken tikka, rice naan, ahhh yes i know, or i make homemade chilli, or some kind of roast dinner, but all would come with potaotes or rice. :? He wont eat anything without pots or rice etc. I do worry that this could be doing him some damage. He has not been back to the docs since he got diagnosed and never had sugar levles done since then, the doc hasnt even asked him back. Ive got a montitor but he quicky gave up when he couldnt get enough blood on the strip, after 5 attempts ................. I need help around this carb filled foods, I know counting the cals is important, but how the heck do in know how mnay carbs he should be having, we went to a dietician and she was almost useless. :roll:

 

[Fraddycat]

Hi Hazel, welcome to the forum, I am sure we can come up with some good suggestions, but to be fair your husband has got to want to make changes and get control of his diabetes, you cannot force him. Maybe if he came on here and looked at some of the difficulties people live with everyday because of previously uncontrolled diabetes then he might feel more inclined to make a change.

Its very common for people to be in denial when first diagnosed with diabetes, its only when he accepts that this is a lifetime condition with some serious complications that he can start to make some positive changes.

He is eating far too many carbs, have a look at the 'newly diagnosed' section at the posts that Daisy makes to give you some details and then ask lots of questions.

 

[Nikkig]

Hi Hazel, you've done the right thing coming here there are many people far more experienced than I am to give advise but for what it's worth this is how my own personal experience helped me.

I was diagnosed in May following a very stressful year looking after my Aunt (who brought me up from 4 months old) who had a terminal illness and dementia. After she died in February, I started realising that the symptoms I had weren't just stress so I did the research, guessed I had type 2 and went to my doctor who was very supportive. He told me what to read and how to get started and didn't give me any drugs as he wanted me to try and beat it with diet and exercise.

I then took a look at where I was going in life, if I wanted to enjoy my husbands recent retirement with him, enjoy all the preparation and excitement for our daughters wedding in April 2013, enjoy any future grandchildren and enjoy the lifestyle we have at the moment (gardening, walking, dogs, friends etc) then I was going to have to try and take control because I wouldn't be able to do these things if I had lost limbs, heart problems, eyesight problems etc. so I needed to take control!

I obviously don't know your husband, but if I were in your position I think I may try shock tactics on my OH, sometimes we need to be cruel to be kind! Is a meal containing all his favourites (naan, rice, potatoes etc) really worth the risk of not being able to see in the future, for instance?

Hazel, I wish you luck as you are in a difficult position , your husband is very lucky that you love him enough to seek out help like you have, keep in touch with us here and more experienced type twoers will also help

 

[hazel73]

THANKS. well this is the trouble i have, I kinda know the tools i need to loose weight, but if i do the shock tactics he goes off in ahuff and will say right then i will starve, you see he has a very limited variety of foods in his diet, which has alot to do with the way he was brought up. he will eat some veg, ie cauliflower, green beans, peas , carrots and turnips. but those potaotoes have always got to be there. And he wont have a roast of any kind without yorshires. He knows he could go blind in the future etc and lose limbs but the shock of that has long since gone. I think woman take these things more seriously than men do :roll: .
He eats the same things all the time,. and thats the problem, which such s limit amount of foods to eat he wont eat the same thing day in day out, if you know what I mean.I could eat soup for lunch and dinner but not him. roblem: .
We are going on the desmond program soon but to be honest i dont think its going to make much difference, i get sick of nagging him and then i forget and let him eat stuff he shouldnt.
A few years ago now, maybe about 4, he was diagnosed with high bp, got a shock and stopped smoking which was good , problem was like so many others food took over that place. he has got the pregnant belly and it looks awfull and i wish he cared more baout his health, I could slap him some times to be honest. :wink:

 

[Fraddycat]

Poor you Hazel, it must be rotten for you. What about if you don't serve potatoes with the roast dinner, I had roast pork last Sunday with loads of cauliflower cheese (the sauce was made with double cream and grated cheese so really indulgent) I was so full up - in fact since I have been low carbing I have been eating about a third of what I ate before, I am just not as hungry as I was before.

Also for brekkie he can have bacon and eggs fried in butter or olive oil, that's perfectly fine, as long as he doesn't have hash browns or beans or much toast. He can have fried tomatoes and mushrooms and be lovely and full.

 

[Fraddycat]

... plus there are loads of recipes on here - under the low carb forum thread which can be used instead of bad stuff. Last night I made the 3 minute chocolate cake, yummy;

3-Minute Chocolate Cake
2 tbsp Butter
2 tbsp Cocoa powder
2,5 tbsp ground almonds
1/2 tsp baking powder
2 Eggs
2 tbsp sweetener
Mix all ingredients, cook in microwave for 3 minutes, serve with cream or buttercream or cream cheese frosting, Da Vinci syrup, berries, whatever you like

This morning I have made Jelly Sweets;

make up a packet of sugar free jelly with 1/2 pint boiling water, then add 2 packets of gelatine stirred until mixed. then I put them in silicone moulds(ice cube trays) leave them overnight to set, then put them in a bowl in the fridge to pick at.

 

[Snodger]

We are going on the desmond program soon but to be honest i dont think its going to make much difference

I bet this will help more than you think. For a start it will mean he meets others with the condition and realises there is more than one way of coping with the condition, and maybe even that his way isn't the best. Fingers crossed for you.

 

[Mushroom]

Hi, you're right - he needs to take control himself and educate himself. There is only so much you can do (or should do). Been married 22 yrs and if I had listened to my husband who hates getting overweight and eating potatoes, perhaps I wouldn't be where I am now but we all have to learn ourselves! Don't blame yourself for not nagging. The nagging only keeps your husband fighting against you and not the diabetes, unfortunately.
Roast potatoes with the fat slows down the blood sugar peaks. New potatoes, better than baked. The cauliflower cheese - yolk and double cream sauce is yummy. The low carb recipes on this forum are great. I haven't got as far as using Almond flour instead of wheat flour as I have a nut-allergic son and we avoid nuts in our house but you can reduce carb amounts where possible.
He really should persevere with the blood monitor. That will then reveal what he may be finding so easy to ignore - high sugar readings from the high carb foods he is still eating. Getting to grips with diabetes has to be a process of taking on responsibility for our own health. I am bordering on needle phobic and it took me 20 mins the first time to take blood. Now I 'distract' myself - look the other way - when pressing the button and it's getting easier. Makes my family laugh but works for me.
Desmond group may help, it may not. I found mine extremely annoying because there were too many people there saying they couldn't give up their potatoes etc. Just seemed to re-inforce the initial problem of over-eating and too many carbs.