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How do I deal with the stress of being newly diagnosed?
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<blockquote data-quote="shelley262" data-source="post: 1789761" data-attributes="member: 455169"><p>Hi [USER=473025]@AllieRainbow[/USER] love your name rainbows are full of hope. I am also a carer of an elderly mum who lives 120 miles away as well as an adult autistic son living with us. I learnt the hard way that unless you care for yourself first you won’t be fit to look after others. I became very very ill when looking after others and working to the point of being suicidal and needed lots of help to get back on level. You are doing remarkably well in coping with what is a difficult diagnosis especially when it’s delivered by someone who is hardly giving you a message of hope. But it will get better - you can see your changes already and you need to really work at the importance of carving out me time even if in the beginning it’s only small chunks of time.</p><p>I can’t do full on meditation as too much of a time commitment but I do do the mindfulness Headspace app which I think is life changing. You can choose from sessions on the app from a couple of mins up to 20 but majority are 5 to 10 mins so can be fitted in daily. You can download a free mini version to try it. </p><p>Also try and work on the practical stuff. I couldn’t cope with being at my mums once a week because of my autistic son so have had to work around it but it may be that you could find some ways of reducing no of visits to release some time? Or are you able to chill during your travel time?</p><p>Shopping online for parents is a good idea I find that some delivery services are really good at putting stuff on to surfaces so mum can easily deal with the stuff and put away in her own time. I also pay for a weekly cleaner to do a good clean plus it’s a bit of extra company as she not yetat the carer stage. I go up about every 3 to 4 weeks but talk to mum everyday to ease anxieties and try and find alternative solutions that don’t need me to be physically there.</p><p>We’re all different and you’ll deal with this in the best way for you but the bottom line is make some time for you and take time to do small enjoyable things and make them a regular part of your life. The rest will follow you’re doing really great and things will get better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="shelley262, post: 1789761, member: 455169"] Hi [USER=473025]@AllieRainbow[/USER] love your name rainbows are full of hope. I am also a carer of an elderly mum who lives 120 miles away as well as an adult autistic son living with us. I learnt the hard way that unless you care for yourself first you won’t be fit to look after others. I became very very ill when looking after others and working to the point of being suicidal and needed lots of help to get back on level. You are doing remarkably well in coping with what is a difficult diagnosis especially when it’s delivered by someone who is hardly giving you a message of hope. But it will get better - you can see your changes already and you need to really work at the importance of carving out me time even if in the beginning it’s only small chunks of time. I can’t do full on meditation as too much of a time commitment but I do do the mindfulness Headspace app which I think is life changing. You can choose from sessions on the app from a couple of mins up to 20 but majority are 5 to 10 mins so can be fitted in daily. You can download a free mini version to try it. Also try and work on the practical stuff. I couldn’t cope with being at my mums once a week because of my autistic son so have had to work around it but it may be that you could find some ways of reducing no of visits to release some time? Or are you able to chill during your travel time? Shopping online for parents is a good idea I find that some delivery services are really good at putting stuff on to surfaces so mum can easily deal with the stuff and put away in her own time. I also pay for a weekly cleaner to do a good clean plus it’s a bit of extra company as she not yetat the carer stage. I go up about every 3 to 4 weeks but talk to mum everyday to ease anxieties and try and find alternative solutions that don’t need me to be physically there. We’re all different and you’ll deal with this in the best way for you but the bottom line is make some time for you and take time to do small enjoyable things and make them a regular part of your life. The rest will follow you’re doing really great and things will get better. [/QUOTE]
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