• Guest - w'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the 2025 Survey »

Husband ashamed of me...


My husband is a type 1 diabetic. Early this year, had an simular situation. We were out with our friends for dinner one evening. It was quite late, and we had to wait over an 1 hour for our food. I knew something was right with my husband, he was having a hypo very bad one. All in front of our friends. All our friends were great, they knew what was happening. He was acting confusion, very argue at me. I was encouraging him to have some cola. But he won't as he knew his dinner would arrive. It did. But it wasnt quick enough. I had to step it and try to get to drink fast acting sugar (cola) just enough to get him back. I'm not sure how low he was but he had to drink half pint on cola, and bowl of pasta. When we got home to check he was a 2. He said quite alot of bad things about me during the hypo to all our friend. I never told him what it was bad enough to for him anyway.

Our friend were great tho, completely understanding. Panic slightly as there order about 16 glass of cola. At first, I had to admit I was upset with him. He knew we were eating late. He should took provision before. Take him sugar before we went out but he didn't. Then I realised that it's not about me it's my husband. How embarrassing he must of feel that he has this condition which is always going to be up and down. I don't blame him at all. Sometime I can be hard on him. But it's only cos I care so much about him that I don't wanna see the hypo side of him. He can be hard to deal with at time. We take one day at a time. Of course he doesn't remember a thing what he says.

Your husband needs to realise that these things will happen. Your weren't your self, and whatever you said you can't be responsible for. That's how I look at it, between me and my husband.

I would talk to him about it and I sure he come around

All best lots of hugs xx
 
Thank you for post that @fleming2015 - it is good to hear from a non diabetic partner and their experience of living with a type 1. I must admit that as a type 1 myself that as much as I try to get it right all the time, sometimes I get it wrong and it can be so hard when I do, social situations are my worst as I want to talk to people and be the life and soul and diabetes management goes out the window then, i've been cooking for 6 guests before whilst hypo-ing and panicking about not cooking the food right, or waiting for food in a restaurant and taking insulin early after doing my best guestimation and then panicking about when it will arrive, at times where others can relax I find I can get stressed very easily and that's when mistakes are made, the last thing anyone ever needs is to be told off, particularly when we are working hard all day to keep within a very tight range, it's an added stress that's definately not required.

Finding a sympathetic, caring partner who understands and supports is so important. I remember my partner saying to me once how proud he was of me for managing this and it made me cry, I try hard every single minute, every single day and not everyone can see that, being supported is vital for all of us
 
Robinredbreast said:
The lady has had type 1 for 44 years, so I would think hubby should of known what to do by now!! Maybe it's not just the diabetes hypo that is 'the problem' but a talk is definitely needed. I hope @itsmeme is alright.
Click to expand...

I hope @itsmeme returns and sees how many hugs are waiting for her, that's alot of people caring about her
 
Your husband needs to do his homework. Hypos can come with irrational behaviour which can be plain nasty and unpleasant . You will not be able to recall what you said or did This is not who you are it is the inbalance of chemicals . I have had this from too much basal insulin.
 
I find ppl that are close to us just dont understand about our condition, and at the end of the day they show us their true colours, when we need them most, i hope your never out with your hubby on your own and you have problems, hope all goes well in the future,,, langy
 
My wife had to call paramedics out to me after losing consciousness during a night time hypo, after giving me a glucose injection I started to come round gradually, they then tried to get me to drink some milk with sugar mixed in which I spat back all over them. I can't remember any of this, my wife was amused by it rather than embarrassed because it was so out of character for me to do something like that
 
 
Your husband should be ashamed of himself. Hope he doesn't get embarrassed when he has a heart attack.
 
Good day my beautiful friends!

I completely agree with mahola. (and I am not joking...)
Life is too short to spend it at war with yourself.

Shame, shows that you are internalising other people's beliefs about who you should be (or who you are) and that you need to reconnect with yourself. Guilt, shows you that you are still living life in other people's expectations of what you should do. Sadness, shows you the depth of your feeling, the depth of your care for others.

And how about yourself? Where do you fit in?
How about prioritising yourself and your needs over everyone else's opinion on how things should be.

I say, be thankful for all lifes' troubles that you don’t have, celebrate the wonderful daughter that you do have and regarding your husband please remember that, what you allow is what will continue.

Sweet diabetic hugs.
Josephine
 
Last edited:
I would like to ask your husband if he was the diabetic how would he feel if you said he was an embarrassment can he not understand how hard it is and we sit there when we go out wondering should we keep checking our bs or should we have a snack or just wait it's very stressful. I have a very understanding partner can't do enough for me he would ask me in someone else house was I alright or do I need something to eat. I always carry lucozade. Hugsxxxx
 
HA!

That's awesome, I would have said the exact same thing lol

Shake it off or wait until he has a glass of wine and then tell him he is an embarrassment because you can't trust him when he drinks lol
 
Contralto said:
Not everyone is in so strong a position that they can do that.
Click to expand...

But for those that are.. It might be a good time to reiterate the age old "preferential" judgment In favour of "mum" in these legal "proceedings"...
 
Contralto said:
Not everyone is in so strong a position that they can do that.
Click to expand...

True.

And that is not to say that the op or any person in this situation is weak, but that they have to balance out a range of grey areas. It's not black and white, and it's not easy to manage.

I agree with @Bluemarine Josephine that you need to give yourself priority. We can't assume that other people are going to give OUR diabetes the priority it requires:
  • They may not understand
  • They may not care
  • They may have their own priorities right now
So, it's worth really thinking through all the situations we meet which affect or are affected by diabetes, and planning for them in advance for ourselves.
And, as I think @Jaylee is implying, this isn't planning we need to shout about from the rooftops, but just self-preservation.
 
Last edited:
Moving forward, I'd still circle back to your husband on this and tell him that if he wants to avoid being "embarrassed" he needs to develop the skills to know when you are in the early stages of a hypo and act accordingly.

As everyone has said, the nursing sister would have thought nothing of what you said. If anything I'm sure she has a lot of empathy for you knowing more than most what living with diabetes can be like.

Your husband is an ass but he's your ass. You'll know if it's something you need to act on in a longer term divorce kinda way.
 
Get the dope to read this post and if that doesn't put him in his place then nothing will.

Good luck

Tony
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Menu
Log in
Register
Cookies are required to use this site. You must accept them to continue using the site. Learn More.…