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Hypos and depression at the worst time..

J

JamieT

Newbie
Messages
2
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Hi guys

Not really sure how this works, not really sure why I'm doing this either. I've just had an awful day i guess...
I'm a type 1 diabetic on an insulin pump, i was diagnosed with diabetes when i was 6 years old, I started with a pump when i was 14. I became depressed around 18 years old, due to stress from education, my family and my health.

I'm now 22 and studying at University in my final year, I had a presentation to give today to my class but had to leave due to a severe hypo.. i believe the cause to be pooling of the insulin, as well as not having breakfast.
I had to leave and get help mid way through the discussion.

I'm just so ashamed and angry with myself. I know we all have bad days and this is just another really bad one but I'm just so tired. University and life in general is just so stressful.

I know university is meant to be stressful and a constant flow of work, but this is just ****. I work so hard but it all feels pointless when i mess up like this.
To be fair to the university when similar things have happened before they are very good at allowing a suitable amount of time to catch up.. but thats the issue. I'm just sick of excuses and catching up. I dont want anymore sick days, i just want to be in uni and normal.

I guess i'm just burnt out in alot of aspects of my life..

Just wondering if there are any other diabetics and depressed people who have suffered a hypo at the worst time? How do you deal with it all and stay positive?
 
hi there @JamieT
welcome to the forum !!

not sure where to start with my reply -- I totally understand everything you said.
I have had some of those times myself.

I am posting you this link to have a look at -- it hopefully will help you to know you are so so not alone.
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/worst-place.70338/

also -- your description of burnout -- that is another thing we can be prone to after years battling this chronic condition
here is another link for you to have a look at if you want http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/diabetes-burnout.13994/

I hope you feel a bit better getting that rant off your chest.

Just try to be kind to yourself -- I tip my hat off to you for being at your last year in UNI -- shows you have what it takes
you should be really proud of yourself
I know I am !!!!!

all the best !! ( and do keep posting ) !!
 
Hi @JamieT , you've managed to express in very eloquent terms exactly how I have felt before, and sometimes still do.

Shame and anger in oneself seem to be experiences common to many who live life with diabetes day-to-day - heck, there sometimes just seems to be so much to beat oneself up about, certainly in my experience anyway - and I think many of us would do well to give ourselves a break!

My good mate @himtoo has posted some very wise words and some super links, and I would echo those in spades.

Oh, the 'normal' you mentioned - over time I've actually ended up 'resetting' what I even consider to be 'normal'. It's saved a LOT of guilt/worry/bother/apologies/excuses/justification.

You're not normal. Nobody is. But as players of the diabetes game though, we are most definitely superhuman.

Love Snapsy
 
JamieT said:
Hey @himtoo

Thank you for the reply and kind words! I'll have a look at those links. Yes I think i needed a good rant!

Cheers!
Click to expand...
no worries !!!!!!! good to have you on the team !!
your experience will no doubt be helpful to others that post in the future.

my motto is one day at a time -- that has pretty much stood me over the years ( with a few minor and major blips )
 
Hello,
I'm hoping I can help a little, as I'm in a very similar boat. I'm in my second year and depression and anxiety are getting a lot worse at the moment and I just know it's having an effect on my health. And it sucks.

I think it's important to have someone around you can talk to about everything - I know it helps to not have things bouncing around your head. Even better if they understand diabetes, because no one really gets it, as much as they try and can understand to a degree. No on else feels it the way we do.

A big part of this for me is learning to not feel guilty about having to live differently to the people around me, easier said than done I know.

I hope you're having a better day today
 
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