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I really don't want to moan...

SRO

Well-Known Member
Messages
89
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Afternoon everyone,

I'm sorry for doing this, but I just need a bit of a sounding off somewhere if that's ok...

I've only been injecting for 3 months and I already hate Diabetes.
I don't mind the testing and injecting. It has to be done, and day to day I'm generally fine with it. I don't moan to anyone and do keep my feelings to myself. I usually come on here to see those worse than me and it settles me.
Had a few days where it was sore. Any needle or finger prick took my breath away. It only lasted a few days and then went away - just a sensitive skin few days. Nothing to moan about.

I had my monthly appointment (which generally has been weekly since its been such a short time) with my DN, who is brilliant, but I was so negative throughout about not getting the results I want.
I know I'm not doing EVERYTHING I can do to be perfect, but I am trying really hard and it's a huge adjustment to my life.

So, I know I will feel better if I start to see results, and I'm giving myself tonight off to have a decent meal (I haven't decided yet), maybe a wee drink and start fresh tomorrow to achieve what I want within the next month.

I did make a deal that if I kept a food diary along with the insulin I'm taking, when, and where I'm injecting (along with my BG readings for the month), if I'm no closer to getting it right then they will use a CGM for a few weeks and see where I'm going wrong.

Sorry for the moan, and I know I shouldn't. I will get over it, and 3 months is nothing. I'm old enough to suck it up and get on with it, but thanks for listening.
 
Moan away. I moaned for months. I am now 2 years in and have figured a lot out so moaning is minimal but I imagine it will always be there as diabetes is a beast with its own mind.
What part is bothering you most? Are bs steady or is that where you are stuck. What insulin a and doses are you taking? What meal plan do you have in place ?
I am not discouraging you from taking a night/ meal off but keep in mind the consequences can last a few days before bs comes back to normal. Make sure it's worth it. I rarely do it now because I always say 1 bad meal = 3 bad bs days and it's usually not worth it to me but that is just me. Been there done that too many times.
 
@SRO, it's early days yet and 3 months in you can't expect too much so don't get disheartened,in time things will fall in place and you will feel so much better, always say the first few weeks/months post-diagnosis is by far the worst.

Enjoy your night.
 
Hi and welcome. The great thing with insulin for most is that it can and usually does control blood sugar very well whereas those T2s or oncoming LADAs on tablets can find them less easy to control. It sounds like you have yet to get the insulin balance right which is inevitable at the start. I assume you are carb-counting the NovoRapid for your meals? Keep at it and let us know what your control problems may be. Yes, there are some who finally need CGM and you may be one of them.
 
SRO said:
I know I'm not doing EVERYTHING I can do to be perfect, but I am trying really hard and it's a huge adjustment to my life.
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Hi SRO, please what ever you do do not strive to be perfect as you will be sorely disappointed, there is no one on this earth who is, you are not a machine so can not work or behave like one. Relax and enjoy life doing the best you can.
 
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I also very much agree with Carbsrok. I very rarely get more than 3 days worth of bg readings where the same levels are recorded. I try but dont always get there. The weather temp would have to be the same, the food would have to be the same and eaten at the same time too and my bodyweight would need to be the same and my footsteps would need to be the same ........In other words a robot lol
 
I'm not T1, so don't face the challenges you do, but if I Amy, I'd like to pick up on a couple of points:

Firstly, to strive for perfection is to set out to fail. Life is all about "good enough" or "good enough, enough of the time". I can be a perfectionist, but learned about 30 years ago that if I continued to be so, to such a degree, my life would be pretty unhappy.

Secondly, you say you're going to have a good meal. Aren't you eating well anyway? I must admit, food is important to me. I don't live to eat, but nor do I view food as purely fuel. If I was eating foods I didn't enjoy, I would be pretty miserable too, but also if I was eating "forbidden fruits", too often, I'd tend to get myself onto a guilt trip.

Maybe have a think about small goals for the day, like something around eating, or blood scores in a certain range - but that range being something realistic to your current capability to manage your condition. When we learn anything the process of improvement is important. If it all came together immediately, just so, we would be unlikely to understand what was happening, or why, so every time you think it's all gone horribly wrong, write it down - what you ate/insulin/exercise and, or whatever is relevant, and look back over those results after a coupl of weeks. It's sometimes really hard to pinpoint solutions to issues from an isolated incident.

Good luck with it all. Sometimes I'm just so pleased to have beenT2, not T1.
 
Hi @Kristin251 - Not being perfect bothers me highly. I do get in the mind frame of "If I can't be perfect, then why try at all" which I know is illogical, but I eat my feelings!

I took the night off (injecting accordingly, of course), and may regret it. If I do, then tough. If I don't and it helps on the right path, then great.

Thanks for the kind words, @noblehead . I see people day in day out dealing with it and I'm usually ok, just needed a wee boost to get me through, maybe, so thank you.

Hi @Daibell Not knowing my insulin to carb ratio is a problem. I find that it's different in the morning than it is at night, but I'm very black or white. This grey area of unknown is dragging me down.
Ive talked it over with the dietician and have a plan, so hopefully the next month will be telling and push me in the place I want and need to be.

@CarbsRok and @iHs - thank you. I strive, but am beginning to understand achieving this will take time. I'm impatient so I want it all...now...

Hi @AndBreathe I have always been fat. Forever. Except now. I will always be fat deep down. I enjoy binging on food. It makes me feel good. Until I'm done, then I feel awful. Being thin now is the best thing ever (thanks to a misdiagnosis and some DKA), but I know I need to do better.
I always think about food. Always have. I feel now that being T1, I'm forced to think about it more and it becomes obsessive.
It's like a never ending cycle of eating, injecting, eating etc.

I've stacked my insulin a few times and it's given me a few frights, especially in the evening.

I appreciate you all replying, and I'm strong enough to keep working at it without it affecting me, but today a wee moan felt justified.
So, thank you.
 
I was diagnosed in November last year, and only been on a regime of insulin etc for a few months longer, and I still hate it. I probably always will hate it and resent it, although I just tend to get on with it.

I think it's normal to feel that way, and every so often, having a moan about it is entirely understandable.
 
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Hi @SRO

I can completely relate to you on wanting to obtain perfection, it is kind of possible but it is completely exhausting and (at least for me) not sustainable.

As many have already said you are only three months in but looking at your A1c results I think you can actually be proud of yourself, you have got them into 2 figures in only a couple of months and that is a great achievement.
I think what you did of "taking a night off" is a great thing, like you said you still counted and injected accordingly but I guess you just took the attitude of I am not going to worry if it goes high. That sort of thing works well for me as a pressure release and I will immediately pick up the next day and just carry on.

Have you been offered any kind of structured education by your DN yet? DAFNE can be a big help and I feel that they have it all wrong here but not offering it as soon as possible to new T1's. In the interim have you looked at BDEC? A quick search on here will turn it up and it is a really good starting point for carb counting and working out your ratios.

Hope that you manage to get a bit of a reset overnight and you have now been able to take that mental breath to continue on, it really does get easier over time as you find what works for you.

A
 
SRO said:
Not knowing my insulin to carb ratio is a problem. I find that it's different in the morning than it is at night, but I'm very black or white.
Click to expand...

Many of us find that we have a different insulin-to-carb ratio for breakfast, lunch & evening meals, but hopefully working with the dietitian you can work out what yours are, but you could also register with the following which is an on-line carb counting course:

http://www.bdec-e-learning.com/

SRO said:
I strive, but am beginning to understand achieving this will take time. I'm impatient so I want it all...now...
Click to expand...

We never know it all, diabetes is one big learning curve and even after decades of living with the condition you can still learn something new.

SRO said:
I always think about food. Always have. I feel now that being T1, I'm forced to think about it more and it becomes obsessive.
It's like a never ending cycle of eating, injecting, eating etc.
Click to expand...

It can feel that way sometimes but once things settle down you will be able to relax a little, the good thing about a basal/bolus insulin regime is you can eat when you want, so you can eat 3 times a day or 2 if preferred.

Best wishes and good luck.
 
Hi all.

So I had a "night off" so to speak, with a Chinese take away and a bottle of champagne (from new year that I missed out on from being ill).
I injected, ate, drank and generally reflected on what @AndyS pointed out - I got my hba1c down to 85 quite quickly and hope to achieve a 70-75 on my next one in May.
That's a great achievement that I can be proud of.

I feel a lot better today and feel a lot more positive. Maybe writing it down helped me express it and I appreciate you responding.

Thank you all, and next time I feel the same, I will have another wee rant. No shame in it.

Hope you've all had a great weekend.
 
@SRO pleased you are feeling more positive
 
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