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I really want to help my husband

L

Louwea

Newbie
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2
Hi All

I am new to this but need to understand more about T2 diabetes so I can support my husband. He was diagnosed when he was 7 and he is now 42. We married last year and has few hypos since I've known him. The ones he has had have been frightening and I've had to learn quickly how to deal with these. Unfortunately Stewart seems to be in denial and has spent years fighting the fact that he has diabetes and he gets angry with himself.

Over the past few days he has had 2 hypos and it has left him feeling depressed and exhausted. I believe that these were the result of him using too much energy and not eating the right foods at the right times - probably. Unfortunately I wasn't with him so couldn't 'nag' him as I usually do. I am going to look at his carb intake as I wasn't aware that this could really help.

I am really concerned about his bouts of depression and I am trying to understand if there's a link. Last week I found him slumped in a corner crying but he didn't know why he was feeling so low. Once again, last night, after his blood levels had stabilised we chatted and he feels like he's having some kind of breakdown. I am wondering whether it's just a symptom of the hypos and the problems he's been having controlling his bsl.

If anyone can advise on this I would be really grateful. I want to try and crack this one with him so he starts feeling better. We are going to the doctors this week but they can't always help in the right way which makes him feel worse.

Also if anyone could advise on the best action to take when he has a hypo I would find this useful. Just to check I am doing the right thing. I don't want to make this worse!

Thanks all
 
Lou
Welcome, and hi

We get a lot of partners/spouses here, all with similar stories
Its so good you have hubby helping, especially if he is having a hard time taking care of himself at present. I read a lot about similar probs to yours and the first thing to say its that only HE can help himself. Yes, you can assist with some things,but not it all

If hubby dx aged 7 then im betting he is Type 1 and not Type 2. At the time he was dx there prob wasnt as much advice/help/education as there is now, though to be honest many diabetics are still self taught!

Things you should know re your post that might be of help (I hope)

Hypos
Caused by too much insulin - either in relation to food (overdose in essence) or exercise (expending energy and not eating enough, as you correctly stated). Under eating will cause them only if you have taken too much insulin. Does your husband dose according to food? Is he on the 5 injections per se regime? Let us know, we might be able to offer practical advice

Alcohol is also a biggie - your liver is involved in blood sugar regulation and when drinking it cant help out so all diabetics need to watch carefully when drinking. I personally can have about 4 spirit measures before I would start to keep an eye, but we are all different.

In terms of treating hypos - fast acting sugar. So, fizzy juice (coke), lucozade, glucose tablets, syrup, pure sugar, etc etc. Some can get away with things like mars bars but to be honest its not recommended as fat in chocolate slows down it hitting your blood stream, However, we all know after a while what works and what doesnt. If he ever becomes unconscious, phone an ambulance. You can get an injectable substance called Glucogen to keep at home and this may be for further discussion with gp etc

Depression
Incidences of this are higher in diabetics than general population . Whether this is related to the daily need for attention to it or whether its related to neurotransmitters in your brain - jury is still out. However, take it from someone who is deemed a relatively well controlled diabetic. Its a pain in the****** :roll: . Now, ive been dx less than two years and to have it as long as hubby, well you can see why he would be depressed
Peoples behaviour does change during hypos - some become emotional, some belligerent and argumentative and refuse to let others help etc, but it may be a combination of the hypo, being fed up anyway and then when you have a hypo just thinking aaaaaaaaaaaaaaghh, I hate this **** diabetes!. If it continues beyond hypo state then he should prob see GP
If its related to hypos mainly, then he needs to look at why he is having them

Fundamentally he needs to want to take control of it. If he does he might feel IN control, and therefore less depressed. Hypos are almost inevitable at some point when T1 or on insulin (blips are common......) but can be minimised.

Let us know what insulin he is on. You mentioned carbs- is he matching carbs to insulin?

If he changes carbs, PLEASE be aware changing insulin needs might be required if he is lowering the amount he takes.

Take care
 
Hi Lou
I've been helping my husband with his T1 for about 35 years. We were already married when he developed it and it was i who spotted it and sent him to the doctor. Because he didn't control it well, patly his own fault and partly poor advice from doctors, he has multiple complications and I've finally got him to cut back on carbs and insulin. Things are a lot more stable that way. I cook all meals from scratch and keep the carbs down in them. For examplee, ioften make soup and don't thicken with a roux, but pureee it. Luckily my husband loves salad and vegetables..
Hana
 
Hi Lou,

Has Hubby been treated for depression?. If is depressed this could be one of the reasons why he is not controlling his diabetes properly. If you both go to the doctors together and discuss hoe he is feeling I am sure the will be able to help. It may be that just getting on top of the diabetes is not enough?
 
Hi Louwea,

Just to say hope all goes well at the doctors this week. Good advice from Sue, so there isn't much else I can add. Good luck!

Nigel
 
brilliant advice already, welcome
 
Thanks everyone, really really helpful. Reading your info it looks like Stew's feeling of depression is because of the way the hypo makes him feel. He just gets really sick of it I think and I don't blame him. He definately has T2 and I went to docs with him yesterday. This was helpful - it also meant that he told the truth :0). I think he has an underlying fear that if he is too honest he will not be able to work etc etc. He's a lot brighter this week but I do think he needs to take more care with his insulin measures - a bit too much guessing! Gonna try the reduction of carb advice too. Thanks so much.

Take Care, keep well

Lou x
 
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