I wish I had happier news..

Long time no visit to this forum.

Short story- Autistic, ADHD, Anxiety disorder, Dysthymia, Fibromyalgia. Type 2 Diabetes.

Last two years have been pretty hellish and I know they have been for many. Covid has robbed us of family members, sister diagnosed with breast cancer, me sinking into a hole.

I've been off sick from work for almost three months now. They brought in new systems and nobody knew what was going on and so everything went mad and I couldn't cope so had a mental breakdown. I was in a seriously dark place and an occupational health report was arranged which didn't actually come up with any solutions bar me resigning. Not exactly helpful but he wouldn't budge and now I'm stuck on a limb, still signed off but not knowing what the future holds.

My diets seriously terrible. For the first 6-9 months I managed to keep my HbA1c between 42-48 but now its over 50 and I have just given up. I had covid which wrecked my sense of taste so nothing tastes very nice now apart from all the stuff thats bad for me and my desire to get any exercise at all has been ruined by this sense of hopelessness and the fact that my Fibromyalgia has got steadily worse to the point that some days I can barely move between sofa and bed.

I feel absolutle useless and angry with myself. I keep on fighting but theres no light at the end of the tunnel. My partners in a bad place and we just seem to make no progress at all. I am so tired yet don't sleep well and am constantly on edge not knowing which way to turn.

Anyway, thats it, rant over.

Sorry.

VashtiB said:

Hi @Patrick66

I am so sorry to hear that you have had such a terrible time. It sounds like you have been facing a mountain of challenges. I hope that things start looking up for you.

Take care of yourself as best as you can. Virtual hug from me.

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Thnak you. Thats very kind.

Grant_Vicat said:

None of this is your fault! Please try not to beat yourself up. If you can both get out of the house and maybe
have a walk on the Jurassic Coast, or similar, it might make you both feel better. I hope so!

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Yes we tried that. My better half got taken sick about 200 yards into our walk and so we had to come home again. Luck is not on our side these days

sweetsweetsugarblues said:

I hope this isn't unwelcome advice. But as it sounds like you're not in the right place to take control of your diet do you think it might be helpful to prioritise what sounds like the biggest porblem right now- your emotional health? It sounds like you've had more than your fair share of difficulty recently.

Self-care (whatever that means for you) and access some counseling?
Perhaps that could help you get on top of things enough to feel like you can take on some of the other issues.
Whatever you decide... All the best to you!

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Accessing any support is very difficult. I’ve had four changes of doctor in a year and haven’t met any. Things have changed so much due to Covid. No, my diet is dreadful and although I do try I find the smallest thing sets me back. But thank you for your advice, it is appreciated.

TriciaWs said:

Apart from some of the lower carb ready made curries, served with green veg, I have sachets of Puriton in for my really bad days - as a low carb shake it is the best option I found to maintain low carb when I can barely get up.
Other than that cut up blocks of cheese into snack size portions and store them in the front of the fridge, and hard boil a few eggs at a time to snack on.
Have you applied for disability benefits? It is difficult but possible with support to get it for fibro.

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I get PiP and will have to apply for ESA once my job ends. Happy days.

Oldvatr said:

The fact that you shared this with us here shows that you have not given up the fighr entirely, and that you still want to get back into control. You are like a ship that has lost its rudder in the storm. Its fixable, but I cannot wave the magic wand for you, It is something you need to do yourself.

Firstly, an HbA1c of 50 or so is not an impossible mountain to climb. You know that food choices can bring this back into line and that this should be a major part of your plan. I find that i use my meter as my conscience. Bad results tells me I ate something I should avoid. I avoid it by remembering what effect it had on my readings last time I ate it, Do this a few times, and the message seems to take root, so problem goes away.

This post of yours is a first step along the road to recovery. Bon Voyage.

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My reading was 78 at one point so I have brought it down before and 54 is not as terrible as it sounds except it alarms my doctor who then sends me letters saying I should buck my ideas up.
I will try.

iwilltouchyourcat said:

I have nothing new to add to what has already been well said by others, but wanted you to know I’ve been there and I know how much it sucks and I’m so sorry you’re going through it. And it is NOT your fault. Sending hugs x

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Thank you