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I'm a Cooking Disaster

There has been no mention of Chia Seed Pudding - what a disaster, what a con!!!!!! Maybe my seeds were stale, but try as I might all I got was little black seeds floating around in Almond Milk. These ingredients are not cheap! My food bill has increased by about 50% what with Coconut Oil, Xylitol, High Protein Bread, Celeriac, Flax Seeds, Almond Flour, Coconut Chips ............
 

Oh yes, the Chia Seeds. I'd forgotten about them. I soaked some overnight and ended up with a jug of frog spawn like stuff that tasted of nothing and I forgot what I was supposed to do with it. Know what you mean about the cost too. I have opened bags of Chia Seeds, Flaxmeal, Psyllium Husk, Ground Almonds, Sunflower Seeds, Sesame Seeds etc. I've obviously used them for various things that have been a disaster. I seem to waste a lot of stuff too. Always throwing out veg that has gone off as it's only me that eats it. Salad isn't something I like to eat every day either so usually find a wilted lettuce in the fridge somewhere.
 
I wouldn't worry about the oopsie bread. I made some and the recipe worked fine - but wouldn't bother again. Just like little omelettes - nothing at all like bread. I ate a few but threw the rest away.
FloraDora said:
There has been no mention of Chia Seed Pudding
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Know how you feel here - I have a massive bag of these and still haven't found a recipe that tickles me fancy with em . I did make some chia seed jam - very nice but couldn't think of anything to do with THAT either lol. Just ended up feeling sad that I couldn't spread it on a great thick slice of crusty white bread, warm from the oven and slathered with butter!! Bah!
 

Oh don't. Making my mouth water. Can't believe I haven't had that for over 5 months now and yet it was a must have before lchf became a way of life.


It looks nice enough but all I could see was another list of things I haven't got and would have to buy. I've chucked out loads of Almond milk because I've bought it for a recipe, used bit and then not known what else to do with it.
 
copey399 said:
I've chucked out loads of Almond milk
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lol snap! Except I didn't even buy it for a particular recipe - just bought it cos I'd read it was lower carb - and twice threw the carton away not even opened!
I think you're my culinary twin @copey399 lol xxx
 
I am not a bad cook but anything I have ever made like pancakes and pizza base with an alternative flour like almond or coconut has been an.. in the bin... job. Oopsies seem to disappear in the oven and came out just a little blob of egg omelette they didn't rise at all. I made a loaf with ground linseed followed the recipe to the letter it came out greasy and heavier than a house brick and it tasted revolting . Tried a chia seed dessert and it looking like a cross between tapioca and wall paper paste and it did not even taste nice so that put me off it and I threw the whole packet of seed away. Not trying anything again to expensive to buy the stuff then have to throw it away and it is not essential stuff anyway I will just stick to ground linseed on my yogurt
 
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Love all the tales of disasters Sorry but it cheers me up to think that not everyone is godesses in the kitchen
 

You are right! The problem is we are attempting to create second best 'tempting carbs'. We should be working at breaking away from muffins, bread and other baked goods, even low carb ones, except as a rare treat. I'm in a bad mood today as one tiny slice of Livlife toast spiked me to over 10 this morning. Its back to the yoghurt and linseed as you so rightly advise!

On the bright side my sugar free jelly has never let me down!
 
I'm sorry @copey399 , but your post made me chuckle...heartily.

Cooking/Baking low carb is an adventure, isn't it?

Try this bread. I like it better than the oopsie bread. http://cavemanketo.com/faux-bread-quest-flax-buns/

I think toasting any LC bread makes it better. If you leave it "as is", either the taste or the texture seems off.

LOVE frog spawn.
 
I buy kale and it rarely seems to make it into chips but hangs about, taking up room in the fridge.
 

I was wrongly tempted last night too. Hubby had bought jacket potatoes for dinner and I was too tired to resist and find something else. Oops - BG was over 18! It was delicious though!
 
I eventually managed to find a chia seed combination that I like: Mix 40g chia seeds with 8 fluid ounces (one American cup measure) of coconut milk - the sort that comes in cans that you make curries with and 4 fluid ounces (half cup measure) of cold water. Then I stir in a dessertspoon of splenda and some vanilla or almond extract or essence. Stir occasionally until it starts to thicken then put a lid on it and put in fridge overnight. It reminds me of blancmange. I have this once a week as with my job I have one day when I finish at 10pm and don't get home until 10.45 and then have to be back at work by 8am the next morning which means getting up at 6.30 - so its nice to have something ready prepare and chia 'pudding' keeps in the fridge for up to 5 days.
 
I have tried baking lots of the low carb bread alternatives but none of them have hit the spot. Rather than go through all that depressing hassle I now stick with the Lidl protein rolls. I know I like them and I know they don't spike my bg.
 

LOL - I did exactly that about 40 years ago when I'd only been married to the first Mr. Chook for a couple of weeks and my outlaws were our first visitors. I'd used plain flour to make a victoria sponge fruit flan base. It looked amazing with loads of different types of fruit radiating out from the middle and jelly like glaze on top - it was the centrepiece of the table! Couldn't even cut it, threw it out for the birds and even they rejected it.
 
FloraDora said:
There has been no mention of Chia Seed Pudding - what a disaster, what a con!!!!!!
Click to expand...
I'll have a crack at that and see what happens. I put a couple of tbsp of chia with almond milk, berries & sweetener in the microwave for 3 minutes yesterday for breakfast and it was good enough.
Chook said:
I now stick with the Lidl protein rolls
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I plan to try some today when I go to a town with a Lidl. I usually try (and fail) to get Livlife from Waitrose, which is a few miles nearer. Otherwise I make almond/linseed/cheese "bread" which is solid but a useful snack with butter, yeast extract or more cheese.
What is this bread we crave? Largely air, I think. Bread commercials portray them as if loaves were springy mattresses, boing boing.
 
The bread I used to love is Morrison's Tiger loaf 800g unsliced. Thick slices, buttered. Nothing LC I've tried so far comes anywhere near it.
 
The only bread I could find was the Burgen Soya and Linseed which I think was 11 c a slice. I think I overdosed on the Lidl rolls and suddenly went right off them. I've now found Weightwatchers wholemeal which comes in at 9c a slice and at least tastes like normal bread without all the seeds. It's very small but at least it's something to dip in eggs. The thought of a thick slice of Tiger Bread has me drooling.

I think I'll give the Chia seed pudding another go using your recipe Chook.
 
Try it with Milled Chia Seeds, then it is less like FrogSpawn/Tapioca and more like a smooth Blancmange.
 
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