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I'm a Cooking Disaster

Personally I try not to pretend that anything I eat is a substitute for the real thing.

I made some Flaxseed and Parmesan crackers which were okay, but not a real cracker and I ended up eating the cheese on it's own. I haven't tried to make any imitation bread and never will, because I love real bread too much. I do eat the Carpet Tiles from Lidl, but I never consider them bread, just something crunchy to put cheese and bacon on.
 
Chook said:
The bread I used to love is Morrison's Tiger loaf 800g unsliced. Thick slices, buttered. Nothing LC I've tried so far comes anywhere near it.
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Ooh yes, LOVE Tiger bread (well used to anyway!).
 
Yes I agree a substitute is second best and just not the same as what we liked
Practically all my life my life..I'm 76.... if we had sausages it was always with mashed potato and lots of fried onions. These days I don't eat normal sausages they just don't taste the same anymore and I have had the high meat content ones but still don't like them I will eat venison and wild boar ones though but I still long for a plate of real creamy potato mash and a pile of fried onions and although I do have celeriac and cauliflower mash is just not the same
 
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I will try the weightwatchers wholemeal I think as I am not a seedy bread lover if I have a slice of toast it is Bergen bread but I don't really enjoy it and I can't stand the Lidl rolls but my T2 husband has them and the Burgen bread but even before T2 he always liked seedy bread best
My mouth is now watering for an egg and cress sandwich made on really thin sliced wholemeal bread but they don't seem to do thin sliced anymore so is the Weightwatcher one thinner than the normal wholemeal
 

 

It seems thin to me but that may be because o/h has thick sliced white bread. I think it would make a lovely sandwich but I haven't risked 2 slices (yet).
 
I shouldn't have mentioned Tiger loaf - can't stop thinking about it. I thought I was over these types af cravings.
 
Completely agree. The substitutes just remind me how much I like the real thing and it sets off cravings all over again.

This applies to all bread substitutes made with non bread ingredients or almond flour, coconut flour and the like.

Somehow because of the wheat and yeast in Lidls HP rolls that are like proper bread to me that is whole meal -never was a fan of white bread.

The stuff I hate the most are those carb free Konjac noodle things. Like eating rubber bands! Every time I have tried to make something palatable out of those it has been a complete disaster!
 
Konjac fettucine is a choking hazard IMO !

I was never into baking and don't have a sweet tooth either. Haven't had sugar in tea since my teens or sweeteners since 2012. I find it difficult to get my head around the idea of fake food. We make broccauli mash, but with broccoli, cauliflower and Boursin, it's nothing like mashed potato.


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britishpub said:
I never consider them bread, just something crunchy to put cheese and bacon on.
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Yep, I go with that.
Celeriac said:
We make broccauli mash, but with broccoli, cauliflower and Boursin, it's nothing like mashed potato.
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And that.
Flax seed bun for instance isn't like anything else I've ever eaten but it's got potential and I shall work on it. Basically it's easy and linseed isn't as expensive as almond flour.
@copey399 It's not failure, it's trial and error and success. After all we're pioneers here. We are working wholly for our own good and mostly against the tide of mass food production.
 

MrC had some gluten free organic raw flaxseed and pumpkin seed crackers. Got them out the box and they looked like thin sheets of compressed seeds and when he tried them he said he felt like a budgie..

I've got collard greens coming tomorrow and I'm all excited - a new vegetable that we haven't used before.

If I really think about it, the thing I miss most is rice - basmati with curry, arborio in risotto, rice salad at Christmas Day supper with all the cold stuff. Cauliflower rice is not rice, although I think it does make a good couscous.

Really though, to me and Himself, food-wise we're in a new chapter. We both like the challenge of creating new things. But also, we like the challenge of rooting around in charity shops and picking up old cookbooks and trying recipes. The 70s were heavily into fondues and marinades that can be low carb. If you can sub the breading and flour in sauces, then that opens up loads of forgotten recipes rrom the 50s.
 
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Celeriac said:
MrC had some gluten free organic raw flaxseed and pumpkin seed crackers. Got them out the box and they looked like thin sheets of compressed seeds and when he tried them he said he felt like a budgie..
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I know that feeling well.
 

Fondue mmmmmmm I used to love it. A dish to be revisited I think.
 
LinsT said:
Definitely - but what shall we dip in it?
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Cauliflower, courgette, pepper strips, small broccoli florets, carrot batons, celery, Lidl HP roll (if they're your thing), cooked bacon strips, cooked mini sausages. I could go on, and on.
 
LinsT said:
Definitely - but what shall we dip in it?
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Cauliflower florets would be nice - maybe broccoli, little chunks of lidl protein roll, celery, chicory leaves, maybe even just a spoon.
 
Am now fancying steamed cauliflower florets dipped into a cheese fondue sauce...

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I've been thinking about cubes of ham dipped in to cheese fondue.

Mr Chook's family have a dish they call 'toasted cheese gravy' traditionally given to poorly children or eaten for supper on a cold winter's night that might do instead of traditional fondue, it's just cheese, butter and cream stirred together with a little milk or water in a heat proof dish to a make a gravy like consistency then grilled on medium until the cheese is melted and gone golden on top. The original toasted cheese gravy was served with thick chunks of bread to dip in it and scoop out the melted cheese but I think all the things we've said above would work just as well. There aren't any particular proportions or any particular cheeses to use, in fact Mr Chook makes it when we've got lots of cheesy odds and ends in terms fridge to use up.
 
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