im a mess can any1 help

Hi Charlotte,

It sounds as if you've got a few issues there!
Why do you miss your doses, is it a fear of injections, or a fear of hypoglycemia, or weight gain?
We have had some T1 members with issues like these in the past. You've seen the consequences of a lack of blood sugar control first hand it seems. I wonder why this doesn't motivate you to take control?
Do you test your blood sugars at all? It will seem like an inconvenience at first if you aren't accustomed to it, but it's a powerful motivator to take control. Remember, any reading higher than 7.8mmol/l is doing you physical and possibly permanent harm.
If you get into the habit of regular testing, it will give you an indisputable measurement of your control, without being judgemental.
Please let us know how we can help, because it's extremely important you come to terms with this.

All the best,

fergus

I have a 2 year old who was born with Down syndrome and at 8 months of age I got to experience diabetes. On diagnosis his blood sugar was 86. He spent a week in intensive care and another 3 weeks in hospital. I live day by day coping with his special needs and glucose levels. We manage because we have a good routine and I have stopped thinking about the baby I should have got. I went through a period of terrible depression and really only managed to function. I try not to think that my life will revolve around caring for my son as he may never be able to manage independently and I just get on with things.

Back to you ... I hope you can get some help so you can look after yourself a lot better. I hate giving my son 5 injections a day and doing all the tests but he doesn't remember any other life. If one of your kids were to develop diabetes you would do what ever it took to keep them healthy so maybe it is time you did the same. They will thank you for it one day (just not during those teenage years). I do agree that diabetes is very hard to manage well and takes some serious commitment.

You might find you feel a whole lot better with control so maybe give it a go for a few months and see how well you can do.

Wishing you well, Jen.

Hi Charlotte,
I have read and re-read your post as I feel the answer you require is in your own posting.You say you somehow feel you want to be in control of the pain and discomfort. I think that is quite a telling statement. We all like to feel in control, so I think the way you need to deal with this is to turn that statement around to one that is more positive...in other words let yourself gain good control of your diabetes.I won't pretend that's easy. I'm still working on it myself BUT when you take your jabs regularly, monitor your BG levels (most important) and start to see things improving, I have no doubt you will still feel 'in control' but in a way that won't be detrimental to your long-term health.
I think what has happened to your Dad has frightened you (understandably so) and by going into denial, you feel you can prevent thoughts of the same things happening to you. In reality, you know that the opposite is true.
Other forum members know that my own motivation to keep myself healthy is so that I will able to look out for my severely disabled brother later on in life. I HAVE to keep myself as healthy as possible. I won't be able to push my brother's wheelchair or help him get dressed or go to the loo etc, if I let my own health go.
Your family need you, so make today the day you spin your options around and take GOOD control. You can do it and you won't find a more supportive lot than members of this forum.We will help you all we can.
All the best, chocoholic.x

Hi Charlotte, you need help.
Is there anyone who could help with the children while you sort yourself out? Contact Diabetes uk. The charity not us and ask if they have a service like that. they can provide lots of different kinds of help.

Hi Charlotte

I felt in a bit of a mess myself until the past few weeks since I found this forum and some of the members have given me some really good advice. I know there is some controversy out there about low carb v high carb and I would never push it onto others, but for me - it has definitely helped to get better blood sugar numbers.

I've been in a similar situation to yourself - unfortunately my Dad went blind in his thirties and he died aged 40 in 1983, it was not all diabetes related, but quite a bit of it was - people think that you know only too well of the trials and complications diabetes bring so you should do better, but I know that feeling of somehow you just can't do it right for yourself!

At my last clinic appointment in December 2008 I had a HBA1c of 9.6, the doctor called in the Diabetic Specialist Nurse - she asked me "what do you think we can do to help you?" I asked her if I could come back every 6 weeks (instead of every 6 months) and get my HBA1c checked. I felt this would give me a shorter term goal to make some improvements. I went back 6 weeks later and my HBA1c dropped to 8.4

She has made me another appointment in another 6 weeks time - and I have made it my goal to try for a lower HBA1c still.

So my suggestion to you Charlotte is maybe contact the DSN and ask for some help to get started and step by step I hope you will get there. Also coming back to get some support from the guys here at the forum.

All the best
Orchid x

For me the thing that got me down was that even when I tried really hard to control my diet and be good, i'd still get spikes to 12-15 etc and feel really lousy, and that Id let myself down and that I wasn't in control. I guess this could easily have spiralled into not taking my insulin just to feel in control, perhaps this is where you are at?

I recommend trying out lower carb diets, once you see yourself hitting the lower numbers not only will you feel better but most of the time if your levels do go high you can trace it and know its something you can control in future, so you get some satisfaction from that.

Stick at it and remember you aren't alone.

Hello,

It's with small steps we move forward. You need to control your diabetes or it will control you. There is a lot of sense talked on this site so check out as much as possible.

The most important thing to do is take insulin though, if you don't then you are doing some terrible damage to yourself when you really don't have to.

I'm a dyed in the wool low carb person, and I really think it is the way ahead for diabetics.

Have a look at the Dr. Bernstein Diabetic Solution Book - about £13 on Amazon at the moment, or else follow the Atkins diet. Try and do as much exercise as possible as well.

You do not have to follow the path your father has gone down, you can achieve control and have a 99% normal life.

Don't give up and don't confuse not doing anything about your diabetes with exerting control. They are very different things.

Good luck.

Dillinger

hi charlotte im new here and im sorry to read what a hard time your going through ,l to had problems accepting l had diabetes ,lve only had it 2 years and theres many times l thought l couldnt cope,im on 5 injections a day and l just keep telling myself if l want to be here l got to do it ,its so sad what happened to your dad but he wouldnt want you to not look after yourself .think of him and your kids and do it for them huni ,you can and will cope you got to think positive ,take care and look after your self kind regards anne x

Hiya Charlotte,

I'm so sorry you have been having such a diifcult time coping with what for all of us, at some point or other in our lives, was the worst news we ever heard. Believe me it can get better. I've been T1 since my teens and I'm now 50.
I've found that the way to deal successfully with things is to try and establish a routine. It know that sounds dull, but it is important for T1s. You have small children, why not try and create a daily routine based around your and their needs. If you can establish a pattern where you take your insulin when you should, and have a snack every couple of hours, combined with regular testing, you may start to achieve better sugar levels. If you achieve better control, then you will feel better mentally and physically.
If you need support to try and do this, why not contact your clinic? Is there a specialist nurse and dietician who could advise you?
Charlotte there have certainly been times in my life when I felt I couldn't cope with this anymore, but I always managed to pull through. I'm sure you can do the same. We're all behind you!!

Best wishes - and take care...

Hi Charlotte

I think the fact you've come onto the forum to voice your concerns is a very big step in the right direction you're accepting things cannot continue the way they are/have gone on.

My son has Diabetes type 1 diagnosed two years ago some days he gets very down (He's now 12) on top of that he's also been diagnosed with Coeliac Disease so stuck with a gluten free diet for life too.

I do know that when his reads are under control he feels so much better in himself not just physically but, mentally too.

If I could change anything I would happiely swop places with him and have the Diabetes and Coeliac but, I can't. I did go through the emotional mill with it all and was told that was only natural sounds daft but, was told I was grieving the loss of a part of my son.

You have to accept you do have Diabetes and that's not easy and, then ensure you do everything you can to help you lead as normal a life as you can now. This forum is a good way of letting you know you're not alone and, offers the much needed support.

You have your lovely children to care for and, that can at times be a real challenge and you'd feel so much better in yourself once the reads are under control.

The most important person in your house is 'you' and you need to look after yourself so you can in turn look after the rest of the family. The sooner you get a routine going the happier and more in control you'll feel.

Good luck and let us all know how things are going!

Charlotte I am angry that I am diabetic and fed up, I feel a shadow of how I was at times even
the time before I was pre ketoacidosis.

What is telling is feeling like you have been hit by a bus.. In what sense -a physical sense or just the sheer overwhelming volume of bad news and information coming at you.

If it is this I just did another post about this.

it is clear that what has happenned to your dad has devastated you. When I get lots of serious issues to handle all at once I resent having this condition the most.

Unfortunately it's here in both our cases.

I used to test 4 times a day, I am now more sporadic, when I was quite low in mood recently there were days 1 or 2 at a time when I did not test at all.

I do though take care of the shots and actually the more you do them the less of a hassle they are.

I have on three occasions missed my night time shot in one case cos it was impossible to get a chemist who had my insulin. I have missed my day shots whilst hiking in the hills (Thus avoiding nasty hypos of 2.1 in lonely places).But unfortunately, the more you don't use the insulin the more you risk blood glucose going up to very damaging levels. In the short term this will make it even harder for you to deal with the issues in your life and will actually damage your systemn in the long term.I have sometims missed a meal recently when in a hurry and therefore an insulin shot but not regularly.

Why not do things by degrees, set yourself a target of trying to do the prescribed shots regularly, maybe start on a day when there is less pressure. If you are not testing bloofd then begin, even if it might be scary at first as BM readings can be like the bill you don't want to look at but with regular shots and control, they do come down and stay down.

Unfortunately you can get angry about diabetes but you can't beat it with anger just as if you kich a car that has broken down it won't start, you need to work on your "Engines" which in turn will make you much more able to deal with all that is going on. Unfortunately you are seeing the end results in a very stark way which sems to be making you want to somehow take refuge from the condition by closing your eyes to it. Believe you me I have felt like this without having the day to day reminder of what this does. I can only say however that if you try to take steps now you will actively avoid complications.

Hope this helps from someone dignosed 10 months back.

RPNKW

Hi Charlotte

Sorry to start but 33 years ago I stood in front of a Nurse (first year Catholic nursing Sister)

It was my second Injection (now out of 47,000++)
She said "I COULD NEVER DO THAT!"

I thought about it Then Said Sister "IF I DON'T I will DIE"

I made the choice at that moment in time, LIKE ALL OF "US".
We all HAD our world kicked out from under us! We all feel Bitter, We all feel like S***t
between the time,

BUT WE ALL get on with it your CHOICE!!!!!

what sorted me out was finding a guy, settling down, and realising I wanted to be healthy for him (and me, obviously).
Try to find something you care about, and use that as encouragement.
It might not be easy, but one day at a time, and you'll get there.

Hi, I too have found myself in hospital twice through serious illness resulting from not following my insulin and tablet regime. I believe that it is a form of self harm. I only feel good emotionally when I am losing weight, drinking constantly and spending half my life on the loo! t is a hard concept for most people to grasp and understand. Most medical professionals can't seem to grasp what is going on in my mind. In the past I have seen a clinical psychologist, a mental health nurse, a psychiatrist, and his various assistants, and a behaviour modification expert. The usual answer is you must take your medication or your health will suffer. Tell me something I don't know!! After my last spell in hospital, about 6 weeks ago, the mental health team and diabetic team decided to see me fortnightly and work together. At the moment I am in control but I have gained a lot of weight and have been experiencing a lot of hypos which really upsets me. For the sake of my husband and children I am trying very hard but the urge to give up the regime is always there and it scares me that I can't think logically about this. I don't really think towards long term complications. I wish that I could give you positive advice and don't want to sound negative but at the same time I want you to know that you are not the only one that feels like you do and unless a person has experienced these feelings it is hard to understand.
I think that at the moment I have to just take each day as it comes and not think long term. This would be my advice to you too. Try to be sensible each day and hopefully it will become a way of life for you as I hope that it will for me.