I'm getting down

I'm getting really down. I dunno if I'd call it depression, but I feel low. I have no idea if I can do this but I have to. There's no choice. I haven't been out of the house for 8 weeks because I'm afraid. So I sit here all day checking my libre 30 times a day. Surely this isn't normal. I want to go camping and walking in the bush like I used to. Sorry, I just had to vent

Yes, my world has changed massively and thanks for your comment @catinahat My mood is up and down like a yo-yo. One moment I'm "I can do this" the next I'm "HELP!". But as you say it's a massive change. I've had chronic pancreatitis for about 5 years with many hospital stays in induced comas. This diabetes was probably inevitable. It's still hard The thing I like about this forum, and why I made an account, is that it's very encouraging. So no matter how down in the dumps I might feel I can see that people can and do live with this. I'll never go into remission because I have no beta cells left... but I can do this (edit: i WILL do this)

EllieM said:

Is this hypo fear? Or fear of highs? I know that some T3cs can have a harder time to manage their bgs than vanilla T1s, but the technology is there to help and you should be able to go back to living a normal life, albeit with a bit of extra care (eg always carry glucose tablets or equivalent).

Lots of virtual hugs.

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It's hypo fear. It seems that the smallest amount of exercise sends me low. I've added snacks and more carbs to my daily eating pattern, but still a casual walk can send me low. I have a telephone appointment in about an hour so maybe my insulin can be reviewed

EllieM said:

Hopefully in the long run you'll have the experience and confidence to manage your own dosing. Good luck with the appointment.

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Thanks

M4nj said:

It’s hard when you are first diagnosis. As catinahat said your world gas turned upside down. Life will get better as the days go by. You need to get used to what’s going on with your body. Is there anyone you know who lives close by who could come visit you. It’s all about interactions. If you’re not well enough or ready to go out let the outside world come to you. I hope you feel better in your self soon .

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Yeah it is hard. In some ways it's not entirely unexpected. When I had my first bout of pancreatitis in 2019 (spent 6 weeks in ICU) my blood sugars were very bad afterwards and then for whatever reason my pancreas/beta cells spontaneously "recovered" and my blood sugar levels and other things went back to normal without any medication. I've had repeated pancreatitis since then, all requiring hospital stays with 2 more of them in ICU for 4 weeks and 2 weeks. Then most recently I had abdominal pain but not pancreatitis and they admitted me because my blood sugars fluctuated between 22 and 28 just while I was waiting in the ED. They did some further tests (scans, c-peptide and other bloods) and made the diabetes diagnosis. Still hard to take in. And today, after attaching a new libre 2 sensor last night I've been having readings in the low 3's and high 2's all day although finger tests using two different meters show I've ranged from 4.9 when I woke up to 9.6 after breakfast and then 5's and 6's so I guess the new sensor is just "settling in". Can only take things as they come and try not to get too stressed

Thanks @HSSS and @Zhnyaka I've taken what you've both said on board. Today is a new day and I'll approach it with a new outlook! It's Christmas morning here and although I can't have lots of choccies I *can* have lots of ham and more importantly family coming over

I guess I didn't realise how *not easy* to die from it is as I thought. My libre is still not working (it dropped from 3.8 to 2.1 after eating 6 jelly beans hahaha) so I'm back to finger pricks for now so I may not even know if I'm having a low because I don't seem to experience any of the symptoms... although I may not have had a real low yet because before the libre I was only checking 5 times a day. But if I do I'll be sure to have some sweet soda etc!

Hopeful34 said:

The drop to 2.1 could be because you had active insulin, or because the sensor hadn't caught up with your actual blood levels, so always worth checking with a finger prick test when you have low or high readings.

If the sensor is still reading incorrectly, if you give Abbott a ring when they reopen after Christmas they'll replace it for you. They may want the faulty sensor returning, so keep it for now.

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Yep, that's good advice. For 15 lows I followed-up with finger prick tests (which were all 3-5 mmol/L higher than the Libre) for every single one of them before concluding that they were indeed false lows on the libre (it didn't go above 3.1 all day I don't think) and I didn't want to run out of test strips -- which I'm using now -- over Christmas so I turned off the Libre alarms even though the alarms weren't going off that often because I think the BG has to go back above the threshold and then fall again before the alarm goes off again (?) and it was not going above 3.9 even though blood prick was e.g. 7.8. So, no alarms. But I only turned the alarms off when it was beyond reasonable doubt that the sensor was not reading properly and was actually going to remove the sensor as well but left it on just in case it decided to work, which seems to have happened (see below)

The sensor seems to be working today after it had a "sleep" for about an hour this morning -- it was saying "blood glucose unavailable, check again in 10 minutes" for about an hour and there's even a gap in the graph. So it seems to be working now 36 hours after I applied it. Maybe it was rebooting/recalibrating during the time it was "sleeping" this morning, I'm not sure. Anyhow, since it's come back online the readings seem fairly close to the contour next readings (not exactly, but I understand there's a lag etc and there's only a few parts of mmol/L difference). I've turned the libre alarms back on now but am going to continue with regular finger pricks for at least the next day or two until I'm sure that the libre has indeed corrected itself.

Edit: I just checked my libreview logs and actually I checked "only" 12 of the libre readings with a follow-up finger prick and 3 after I decided it wasn't reading properly. They didn't even check my BG that many times per day when I was in hospital, perhaps I should have trusted the test strips sooner