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I'm Rosie and I'm a carboholic
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<blockquote data-quote="RosieLKH" data-source="post: 577828" data-attributes="member: 108816"><p>No, it was the same old way of compulsive buying, which sends me into a devil may care attitude. No idea why. It wasn't a reward. I didn't feel sad, or depressed. Maybe a feeling of defiant. A "why shouldn't I be able to have these things?" approach. </p><p></p><p>Oh, and the two cakes - well, if I buy one it would definitely look like I was buying it for just me - a big, fat piggy - to eat, wouldn't it? Whereas two, then eaten by same BFP, at least looks like I am sharing them with someone! I know - it doesn't sound very sane does it? </p><p></p><p>At least I'm not doing it every week. I tried to be mindful. All I can think of is that I was hungry and perhaps BS had got low, so I got belligerent - with myself though - so maybe the answer is to keep a snack in the car. The last time I felt like it I did actually buy crispy bacon instead of cake, but it was seeing cakes being sold cheaply that got to me this time (always a girl for a bargain!).</p><p></p><p>No idea why I had to have the yoghurt later - twice - or why I had to put sugar in, as I also love plain yoghurt. Over the past few weeks if I feel like a treat I do have a small slice of cheese, or a few nuts/seeds, and I've been fine on that. I guess it was once the damage had been done with the cakes it then didn't matter - which of course is so untrue, as it really just compounds it all.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, onwards - next time I am tutoring in the evening I'll take a snack and make sure I eat it before I approach shopping in the supermarket.</p><p>Have done a big dog walk today, mowed the lawn, weeded and hammered holes into tin cans to make lanterns for a craft stall. Hopefully there will be a huge gap before I 'fess up to this sort of thing again - not that I'm planning to keep it secret, but trying to explain it in any rational way does make me see how pointless my actions were and I'll try and hold onto this feeling for a long time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RosieLKH, post: 577828, member: 108816"] No, it was the same old way of compulsive buying, which sends me into a devil may care attitude. No idea why. It wasn't a reward. I didn't feel sad, or depressed. Maybe a feeling of defiant. A "why shouldn't I be able to have these things?" approach. Oh, and the two cakes - well, if I buy one it would definitely look like I was buying it for just me - a big, fat piggy - to eat, wouldn't it? Whereas two, then eaten by same BFP, at least looks like I am sharing them with someone! I know - it doesn't sound very sane does it? At least I'm not doing it every week. I tried to be mindful. All I can think of is that I was hungry and perhaps BS had got low, so I got belligerent - with myself though - so maybe the answer is to keep a snack in the car. The last time I felt like it I did actually buy crispy bacon instead of cake, but it was seeing cakes being sold cheaply that got to me this time (always a girl for a bargain!). No idea why I had to have the yoghurt later - twice - or why I had to put sugar in, as I also love plain yoghurt. Over the past few weeks if I feel like a treat I do have a small slice of cheese, or a few nuts/seeds, and I've been fine on that. I guess it was once the damage had been done with the cakes it then didn't matter - which of course is so untrue, as it really just compounds it all. Anyway, onwards - next time I am tutoring in the evening I'll take a snack and make sure I eat it before I approach shopping in the supermarket. Have done a big dog walk today, mowed the lawn, weeded and hammered holes into tin cans to make lanterns for a craft stall. Hopefully there will be a huge gap before I 'fess up to this sort of thing again - not that I'm planning to keep it secret, but trying to explain it in any rational way does make me see how pointless my actions were and I'll try and hold onto this feeling for a long time. [/QUOTE]
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