Is the forum always supportive or can it sometimes seem a little oppressive?

@Patricia21 I understand, i edited it out, being diabetic whether your t1 or t2 if you eat the wrong diet consistently problems will be ahead and its better to avoid them now than to have to put the mistakes right later on and its all about the right choices, sometimes the truth hurts but its upto the individual as we are all at different levels of truth and understanding, i can see there are some patient wise people on this forum and they are just waiting for us with less knowledge to catch up. thanks for correcting me.

This forum is run by what - 193000 odd individuals, not by a politically correct panel so I think that the forum is not always supportive and it probably can be oppressive for those that do not want the replys they get. However, I do feel that the majority of us TRY to be supportive in our way. If going lchf has changed your diabetic life why wouldn't you want people to know? There is no doubt in my mind that it works and even though I consider myself a glycemic load person, when my BG goes high, it's the carbs I cut out to get it down again.

I think sometimes threads can disintegrate into unpleasantness however I think this is few and far between and by large this forum is one of the best you will see. Honestly I do not know where I would be without it. Six months into my journey, I am still waiting for a DESMOND course and this forum is the ONLY thing that has given me help and advice at all.

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@angelicbaby I agree the forum is supportive. Over 2 years on from diagnosis and I haven't had a DESMOND course either. I don't want one now, I have already learnt what to do. Some advice has been good for me, some hasn't. It's up to the individual to decide if the advice is right for them. Without the advice on here in the first place they wouldn't even be able to do that.

Yes the group can be very supportive but sometimes can seem oppressive New people on their first post are very often told straight away they need to change their diet to what others are doing here even when they have not asked for that kind of advice and may not even need it. A lot here do jump the gun and should wait until the advice is asked for Let newbies have time to come to terms with their diagnosis before showering them with diet advice that can be to overwhelming for them all at once and the reason I think a lot never come back on to the forum

I've never seen anyone offer advice until they know details such as HBA1C, BS, dietary habits, exercise regimes or anything else. Oppressive?

Hardly.

i say : If you can't add to the post, "Haud yer Wheesht!"

AnnieC said:

Yes the group can be very supportive but sometimes can seem oppressive New people on their first post are very often told straight away they need to change their diet to what others are doing here even when they have not asked for that kind of advice and may not even need it. A lot here do jump the gun and should wait until the advice is asked for Let newbies have time to come to terms with their diagnosis before showering them with diet advice that can be to overwhelming for them all at once and the reason I think a lot never come back on to the forum

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Sorry -- I can't agree with that. When newbies join the forum they usually say that they are confused -- they want advice and information, not just 'I feel your confusion' (and remember that others have been 'showered with' very bad information). Daisy's advice sheet gives specific direction and advice on diet -- what's wrong with that? The OP began the thread not talking about diet -- their complaint was about the pressure to achieve 'good' BG numbers which could seem 'oppressive'. Unfortunately, diabetes doesn't believe in being reasonable and accommodating about how you feel. There are good numbers and bad numbers, and we shouldn't complain about feeling bad about not achieving good figures-- you can't change the medical reality

I am quite new to the forum really, diagnosed last year. I came here for advice, as most people do, and to say that by giving advice the forum becomes oppressive is absurd. That's what it's for!
I've found out about low carb and decided to give it a go. However, I've also posted about my lack of will power and scoffing of malteasers: no one ever judged me for it. In fact we had a good laugh about it and then I learned about Lindt 90% which has been my saviour.

equipoise said:

Sorry -- I can't agree with that. When newbies join the forum they usually say that they are confused -- they want advice and information, not just 'I feel your confusion' (and remember that others have been 'showered with' very bad information). Daisy's advice sheet gives specific direction and advice on diet -- what's wrong with that? The OP began the thread not talking about diet -- their complaint was about the pressure to achieve 'good' BG numbers which could seem 'oppressive'. Unfortunately, diabetes doesn't believe in being reasonable and accommodating about how you feel. There are good numbers and bad numbers, and we shouldn't complain about feeling bad about not achieving good figures-- you can't change the medical reality

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No of course there is not anything wrong with Daisy's advice sheet that is not in question it is very good and people are grateful for the information but some are not ready to absorb that much information as soon as they join when their head is all over the place and they are still reeling from the shock of being diagnosed as diabeticThe OP was right when he said there can be pressure to achieve good BG numbers and that can seem oppressive.

AnnieC said:

No of course there is not anything wrong with Daisy's advice sheet that is not in question it is very good and people are grateful for the information but some are not ready to absorb that much information as soon as they join when their head is all over the place and they are still reeling from the shock of being diagnosed as diabeticThe OP was right when he said there can be pressure to achieve good BG numbers and that can seem oppressive.

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I don't think you are giving newbies enough credit Annie. If there's too much information they can go away and absorb it can't they? No-one is forcing them to read it all at once.

Any forum, TV programme, diet sheet from our GP etc will seem a bit oppressive to someone who can't achieve results easily. At least on the forum we are here to give support and suggest other ways to help solve the problem, and to give sympathy and empathy too.

The worst I have ever felt was when a GP said to me "Have you ever thought of losing weight?" He didn't tell me how though. All I felt was blame and shame, despite having tried to lose weight for 25 years. Now that was oppressive!

AnnieC said:

No of course there is not anything wrong with Daisy's advice sheet that is not in question it is very good and people are grateful for the information but some are not ready to absorb that much information as soon as they join when their head is all over the place and they are still reeling from the shock of being diagnosed as diabeticThe OP was right when he said there can be pressure to achieve good BG numbers and that can seem oppressive.

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If they didn't want info then why would they be on the forum?

Whatever someone reads as being clear and precise, may not be the same for others , back to attitudes .values ,beliefs and perceptions, and need ....

This is a very interesting discussion and there are some very valid points. As a t2 I cannot begin to understand what it is like to be T1, I can only go on my own experience. When I was first diagnosedlast October it knocked me sideways, other people got diabetes, not me. I felt at sea for a few weeks wondering what I could eat and what I could do to get off my meds. My DPN was very informative and gave lots of advice but I still felt I needed more information to make an informed choice about how I could manage my own condition. I joined this forum and found a wealth of knowledge. I read all the links that people put on and also about their own personal experiences. Through doing this I now felt I had enough information at my fingertips to decide which way I wanted to go. I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person who has been in the medical profession for 25 years, (although I knew next to nothing about diabetes, my area is theatres) people need to use this forum for information in order to make their own choices. I chose to go down the lchf route, I needed to lose weight as well. It's works for me, and by testing regularly I know what carbs I can get away with and which ones to only have once in a while. Personally I feel so much better and healthier, but I also realise this is not for everyone. My uncle has been diabetic for 10 years and eats anything he wants, cakes, biscuits, chocolate you name it. That is his choice, he is aware of all the risks as much as I am. I also understand that people can be very enthusiastic about promoting a lifestyle that works for them and that may come across as being a bit oppressive, but I certainly don't think that is anyone's intention who writes on this forum. Like it has been stated earlier, everyone is far to nice and only want to help other diabetics by giving them the benefit of their own experience.

equipoise said:

The OP began the thread not talking about diet -- their complaint was about the pressure to achieve 'good' BG numbers which could seem 'oppressive'. Unfortunately, diabetes doesn't believe in being reasonable and accommodating about how you feel. There are good numbers and bad numbers, and we shouldn't complain about feeling bad about not achieving good figures-- you can't change the medical reality

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For my own experience, far from feeling oppressed that posters here were getting "good BG numbers" I felt inspired that I could do the same. My own DN didn't even give me the NICE figures to strive for. Only by reading the posts of those who have achieved "non diabetic" BG levels, have I thought I can get these levels too. When my 1st post diabetic HBA1C came back at 56 my DN nearly fell of her chair - because in her words she "didn't have patients like me". However I have also read posts where the OP claims bullying or oppression - we all take information in different ways - some of us can be inspired by words whereas some will throw in the towel and stamp their feet.

I think it is down to each individual as to whether they feel the forum is supportive or oppressive.The intent of the majority of posters offering advice is supportive, but the advice may seem oppressive . What I mean by that is that many new people on here, either newly diagnosed or long termers, are seeing new advice for the first time probably. This is for both diet and management of their condition.The dietry advice given is based on personal experience, and often contradicts what people have been told by their HCP. So if you arrive here thinking you are doing the right thing by complying with the standard advice, but fail to achieve the standard targets, it can be motivational to find that other dietry advice exists, that it will differ somewhat from person to person but it is possible to achieve better control after all.

However, it can seem oppressive that the advice suggests changes are needed. Change is uncomfortable for many people. If they feel that changing the diet that they have followed since diagnosis is all too much to deal with, then they may make the decision to not take on board what is being said, not come back, and that is their choice to make . But hopefully, it's an informed choice

The same really applies to blood glucose - on one end of the spectrum the targets set by the NHS to achieve are quite high in comparison to those advocated by Bernstein ( as close to a non diabetics as possible ) but neither take in to account individuality. Where a person feels better on themselves, neither too high or too low, and feeling rubbish through hypos or hypers is minimised while still having quality of life. Lifestyle, physical abilities and economic factors all affect this . My personal preference is where I live my life best, higher than Bernstein's , but lower than the NHS targets .

At the end of the day, it's not competitive , it's finding a way to personally balance well being and hopefully minimising future complications and daily hurdles. Basically, it's the mindset of the reader ( which can change from hour to hour, let alone day to day ) that determines if the forum is oppressive or supportive

That's my take on it anyway

Signy

AnnieC said:

Yes the group can be very supportive but sometimes can seem oppressive New people on their first post are very often told straight away they need to change their diet to what others are doing here even when they have not asked for that kind of advice and may not even need it. A lot here do jump the gun and should wait until the advice is asked for Let newbies have time to come to terms with their diagnosis before showering them with diet advice that can be to overwhelming for them all at once and the reason I think a lot never come back on to the forum

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I was never told to change my diet. I wanted information and I got it. I have also never read of anyone else being given that advice. Not on the threads I have gone onto anyway. It's great to read about other people's successes as it give you the incentive to achieve your own goals and also the realisation that they are indeed achievable

I'm wondering if people know what oppresive means?
Overall this forum is very good, and if you don't like some advice you get, well, ignore it and move on. Ppl are just trying to help

Emmotha said:

View attachment 11993
I'm wondering if people know what oppresive means?
Overall this forum is very good, and if you don't like some advice you get, well, ignore it and move on. Ppl are just trying to help

Click to expand...

Also, linking back to original post. I do think people on the forum strive for better results than health care system advocate. That's because I would say if you've come to the forum: you're someone that's interested and active to want to get good results. There's probably some diabetics who aren't that worried and wouldn't seek extra info?

Emmotha said:

View attachment 11993
I'm wondering if people know what oppresive means?
Overall this forum is very good, and if you don't like some advice you get, well, ignore it and move on. Ppl are just trying to help

Click to expand...

I don't think any one thinks its oppressive in the real sense of the word as you posted, i may be wrong tho, it is a popular debate.