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Libido vanished/relationship problems

S

Shadowrangler

Newbie
Messages
1
hi there, I’ve been diagnosed type 2 for just over 2 years and since my diagnosis have totally lost my sex drive. This is now severely affecting my 5 year relationship and causing problems. I’m at my wits end with anxiety and also pressure to perform.
I started on viagra age 52, 3 years before my diagnosis which worked back then, but now it gives me bad headaches and cannot use it. Sadly my libido/desire to have sex has greatly diminished.
I’ve heard that this can be due to diabetes causing low testosterone levels in men and there may be treatment, can anybody advise?
 
Talk to your doctor (and your partner) there are other medications that may be effective that don't result in headaches (here's a link to an article which briefly describes the medications https://www.healthline.com/health/e...gra-alternative#risk-factors-and-side-effects). Get creative, the same old same old routines and expectations can be boring for anyone after awhile and the pressure to perform like a 25 yr old stud is not going to help. Counselling, sex toys, erotic stories etc can re-spark the flame. There are lots of helpful (non "icky") websites or books that you and your partner can explore.
 
Viagra gives me bad headaches, too. Takes any sparkle out of fun times. At first, I thought it was just coincidence, then I realized.
Cialis, one of the competitor products, might be better for you? There may be others, too. A conversation with your GP would be the first stop on this. You won't be the first man they have seen this week in your situation, and you won't be the last.
Some gay men will claim that "poppers" have a similar effect, heightening sexual enjoyment too. However, with the publicised side effects that they have, I would NOT recommend them. They can give headaches, just the same as viagra, but can also have an effect on the eyes.
 
I have problems with ED it gets me so depressed doctors I talk to don't seem interested I have been given coal is for years but it does nothing I don't think people realize how this effects men it makes you feel like a failure and not a real man!
 

Hello "Shadow wrangler"
Your Diabetic medication can also have an effect - especially Statins. If you are on "Statins" I would recommend stopping them for starters (they also have lots of other nasty side effects).

Sometimes your type of work can have an effect - if you are sitting behind a desk, or computer screen, or watching a lot of TV and not getting enough exercise this can have an effect - active sport, such as football, can stir up "desire" but don't let that sport be a distraction and make your wife feel "shut out".

But the best advice is to speak to your Doctor. However, there does come a time when some men do "dry up" - it varies from man to man - but it is not the end of the world - a loving relationship can still be had if the rest of the relationship is OK.
 
Just to say as well as this ED having a big impact on the quality of your life, it does have a serious implications for your vascular health. Yes there may be drugs that can increase the blood flow to that region but that doesn't fix the systemic problem that your small vessels and possibly large vessel (cardiovascular ones) are damaged by long term exposure to too much glucose.
If you are taking a statin or blood pressure meds then it is possible you could resolve those issues and that of type 2 diabetes by making some simple dietary changes so if you were my husband I'd suggest trying the low carb route. You should discuss with your doctor because depending on what meds you are taking, some of those may need reducing or removing.
 
Also, there's a possibility of a serious interaction between Viagra and poppers, and the two certainly shouldn't be used together. I've known people who did, with no ill effects, but a friend of a friend (so I'm not sure how true this is) ended up in an ambulance using both.

The possibility of eye damage is enough to put me off using them, to be honest.

I used to know someone who'd had prostate surgery pre-Viagra. He was prescribed something he injected to induce erections. I'm not sure if that's still an option.

Unrelated, but if you cycle a lot (even on an exercise bike) the saddle can damage the blood supply to your erectile tissue. You're basically putting your whole body weight on a part of your anatomy that was never intended to support it. There are saddles available with cutaway centres that relieve the pressure from this vital part of your anatomy. Penile numbness while riding is the first telltale that this is going on.
 
You need to speak to your doctor or diabetic nurse. They can certainly prescribe viagra or similar. But that won’t help the libido. I believe they can also test your testosterone levels. The anxiety and pressure is also likely to be adding to the stress which can’t make it easier.

having a major condition plus the stress won’t help, if you have access to an employee assistance scheme you could see if they have some counselling to help

It is probably not what you want to do but have you spoken with your partner?

good luck to you. Having had some issues in the past I empathise. But my doctor and nurse have been nothing but helpful. But not feeling like a man... I’ve been there and not wanting to talk about it for embarrassment but that’s what the professionals are for
 
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