Firstly welcome to the Forum and for your offer of help to all us Diabetics, both young, old and new to this condition.
Like many reading your initial posting I'm sorry to hear of your loss, I'm sure from what you have said and with your caring attitude to diabetes that you went a long way in extending life of the indivual who had diabetes who you looked after for the last 20 years..
Sadly as you say in your posting, many newly diagnosed diabetics are simply left by the medical professionals to get on with it all by themselves. Having the shock of being to told that you have such a dissabling chronic condition is bad enough, but in many cases all that the new diabetic receives is a simple diet sheet (I'm doubtfuly if it's any good to start with) , diabetic medications, a follow up with the State registered dietician, and if they are particurly lucky, the oppertunity to attend a basic diabetes introduction training course.
I would advise anyone newly diagnosed with diabetes to join this site. It's truely a wealth of diabetic information.