semiphonic
Well-Known Member
- Messages
- 905
- Location
- Torquay
- Type of diabetes
- Treatment type
- Tablets (oral)
- Dislikes
- Ignorant people, diabetes!
@semiphonic ...I am always hopeful that my partner will get that 'wake up' moment as you describe it but am not sure what it is going to take to get it. He has been T2 for about twenty years or more, fifteen of which were before we met .....in the time since we have been together I have tried to support him where I can but get the feeling that he either doesn't want to or won't understand until something major happens to make him realise how serious this is.Hi Molly, before I was diagnosed what I knew about diabetes could have been written in very large letters on the back of a postage stamp. After diagnosis, with the lack of any usable information from my GP, I looked at as much information as I could on the internet. The result? All I could see in my future was an early, slow and agonising death mainly involving blindness and amputation, I spent nearly two weeks curled up on my sofa in tears, nothing my wife or children said was of any help. I also spent this time eating as much sugar as I could, sweets, biscuits, cake etc etc, I was at deaths door as it was, so why not eat as much of that **** as I could, right? I kind of 'woke up' and decided to do some proper research, found this forum, and after some great advice I got good control and realised that diabetes isn't necessarily a death sentence.
I, obviously, don't know your OH, but I suspect he's where I was before I 'woke up'. If that is the case, given that he feels he's about to die I think his attitude to diabetes is totally understandable. He needs, or you need, to find the 'wake up' moment, as soon as that happens everything will change.
Although you're probably not told, your continued support will be of great comfort to him, and he won't be feeling totally alone.
I wish you both the very best and hope that you are able to get through this.
@Enclave ....thank you for your message....as always they always give me something to think about and work on...You OH will think that 15.4 is not bad as he has been a lot higher ! It takes time to reduce from the high levels, if he drops too fast it's bad anyway .. So could you not support by agreeing with him and set a goal that's achivable .. Then the task ahead of him will not be set to fail ..
You must also stop shielding him from these forums .. He's had this condition for so many years that things have moved on from when he was first told he's T2.
The important things to remember are .. He must know the facts and want to be proactive in getting his health back ... It is achievable, but not over night .. Make things fun and real. I am stubbon and when I think something is un achivable I don't even try, I turn to sleep and food to forget about any problems I have, but my wife (yes the wife again) knows this, and can cheerfully work with and around my stubbornness.
When the holls are over .. You really must sit him down and get him to talk .. Talk about everything .. From the weather, your relationship with him and his health problems ... It's not going to be easy.. If he's like me he will not want to talk or listen .. But you need to find a way .. If he refuses point blank then pack his bags " move him out to fend for him self .. If he chooses I'll health over happy times with you then he's not worth the effort.
If he is willing to try the do set achivable targets .. So if he's 15. Then get it down to 13 .. Then 10 ... Then 8 over a few weeks not to fast then with the achivable Targets he should be happy not overwhelmed with it all.
Fingers crossed for you and looking forward to seeing the butterfly's
@AndBreathe ...I think he does understand why they are higher and that it is due to what he has been eating...rightly or wrongly I decided not to pull him up on food choices during the holiday as it would only have caused arguments and unpleasantness..not the best atmosphere when on holiday!Have you talked about the increase whilst away versus his most recent home scores? Does he understand why they are higher?
@Molly56
If OH was diabetic before you met him and for quite a while and hasn't taken any notice of you, well, to be honest you are wasting your breadth and your kindness and caring emotions on him.
The thing that particularly worries me is the excessive wee. Pre diagnosis that can be normal, along with eyes blurring, some lose weight etc... After diagnosis and meds the excessive weeing should stop, however because he is in denial he is now effectively killing his kidneys off.
Got to ask.. Have you actually asked OH whether "he wants to die a horrible death from diabetic complications?", or just asking him "what it will take for him to look after himself instead of you consistently worrying about him?"
I so hope, really hope that when you return home that something positive in his attitude will happen. I would so love to be proved wrong in my thinking on your OH?
Are you now a bronzed goddess walking through the butterflies? Have you been able to have the relaxation that you need?
After seeing my step sis this week fly over and see our parents after anal and stomach cancer and having a 3rd repair op when she goes home. It makes me just wonder how some people can find strength to keep fighting disease and yet your OH is headlong into self destruction.. It really concerns me that you are the one trying to fight his health battles.
However, Perhaps insulin is his only choice now?
I hope you have a safe journey home...
@donnellysdogs ..thank you as always for your reply....@Molly56
If OH was diabetic before you met him and for quite a while and hasn't taken any notice of you, well, to be honest you are wasting your breadth and your kindness and caring emotions on him.
The thing that particularly worries me is the excessive wee. Pre diagnosis that can be normal, along with eyes blurring, some lose weight etc... After diagnosis and meds the excessive weeing should stop, however because he is in denial he is now effectively killing his kidneys off.
Got to ask.. Have you actually asked OH whether "he wants to die a horrible death from diabetic complications?", or just asking him "what it will take for him to look after himself instead of you consistently worrying about him?"
I so hope, really hope that when you return home that something positive in his attitude will happen. I would so love to be proved wrong in my thinking on your OH?
Are you now a bronzed goddess walking through the butterflies? Have you been able to have the relaxation that you need?
After seeing my step sis this week fly over and see our parents after anal and stomach cancer and having a 3rd repair op when she goes home. It makes me just wonder how some people can find strength to keep fighting disease and yet your OH is headlong into self destruction.. It really concerns me that you are the one trying to fight his health battles.
However, Perhaps insulin is his only choice now?
I hope you have a safe journey home...
Hi. Does anyone have any advice on living with a partner with type 2 diabetes which is effectively not controlled?
I am not diabetic myself but am living with my partner who has type 2 diabetes – he has been diabetic for approx. 10 – 12 years and we have been together for the last 5 years. Despite being on medication (metformin / gliclazide/ linagliptin plus various blood pressure medications) I know that his diabetes is not under control and have noticed the early signs of a number of diabetic complications including a number of forms of nerve damage amongst others.
He (reluctantly) sees the diabetic nurse about twice a year to monitor his diabetes but always promises to address this through diet and exercise but the truth is that he effectively doesn’t watch his diet and does no exercise at all – even walking is a problem due to painful joints which he puts down to arthritis - despite my best efforts to explain that keeping moving is the best remedy for this his excuse is always that he can’t do this.
Being retired and having little to do he seems to spend the majority of his life either in bed (he rarely gets up before about 11am so doesn't eat breakfast or have his medication until nearly lunchtime) or sitting watching television / reading the paper and leads a very sedentary lifestyle, often going back to bed in the afternoon for a nap for a couple of hours – and often blaming this on his diabetes!!
Am getting increasingly frustrated about the situation myself as I know from reading up on the website that there are answers to many of the problems he faces but he is either unwilling or unable to understand - I have tried on numerous occasions to explain about diet and exercise but it just falls on deaf ears.
Have spoken with my GP about this who understands my concerns and the position that I am in and is sympathetic to my dilemma.
Despite not being diabetic myself I do have some personal experience of the complications that can occur – my ex father in law died in his early sixties from complications brought on by uncontrolled diabetes and a close neighbour at my previous address had a similar experience with complications and with the same outcome – so have real concerns about what the future holds for my partner given his current circumstances.
Is there anyone else out there who is in a similar position or who could offer some friendly words of advice.
Are there any local support groups that exist that would be able to offer support or guidance to either myself or to my partner if he would accept it.
Any advice would be great, thanks
Hi. Does anyone have any advice on living with a partner with type 2 diabetes which is effectively not controlled?
I am not diabetic myself but am living with my partner who has type 2 diabetes – he has been diabetic for approx. 10 – 12 years and we have been together for the last 5 years. Despite being on medication (metformin / gliclazide/ linagliptin plus various blood pressure medications) I know that his diabetes is not under control and have noticed the early signs of a number of diabetic complications including a number of forms of nerve damage amongst others.
He (reluctantly) sees the diabetic nurse about twice a year to monitor his diabetes but always promises to address this through diet and exercise but the truth is that he effectively doesn’t watch his diet and does no exercise at all – even walking is a problem due to painful joints which he puts down to arthritis - despite my best efforts to explain that keeping moving is the best remedy for this his excuse is always that he can’t do this.
Being retired and having little to do he seems to spend the majority of his life either in bed (he rarely gets up before about 11am so doesn't eat breakfast or have his medication until nearly lunchtime) or sitting watching television / reading the paper and leads a very sedentary lifestyle, often going back to bed in the afternoon for a nap for a couple of hours – and often blaming this on his diabetes!!
Am getting increasingly frustrated about the situation myself as I know from reading up on the website that there are answers to many of the problems he faces but he is either unwilling or unable to understand - I have tried on numerous occasions to explain about diet and exercise but it just falls on deaf ears.
Have spoken with my GP about this who understands my concerns and the position that I am in and is sympathetic to my dilemma.
Despite not being diabetic myself I do have some personal experience of the complications that can occur – my ex father in law died in his early sixties from complications brought on by uncontrolled diabetes and a close neighbour at my previous address had a similar experience with complications and with the same outcome – so have real concerns about what the future holds for my partner given his current circumstances.
Is there anyone else out there who is in a similar position or who could offer some friendly words of advice.
Are there any local support groups that exist that would be able to offer support or guidance to either myself or to my partner if he would accept it.
Any advice would be great, thanks
@wizardo ...Have avoided statins so far so not down to that....thanks for the suggestion though...Maybe the aching joints are down to statins, if he takes these. Might be worth giving them a miss for a while to see if the aches go away or at vey least ask the GP to try an alternative. Certainly statins got me aching pretty well straight away.
Last night for example when it was time for dessert I did suggest that one small dessert wouldn't do any harm and would be preferable to the bread rolls he was suggesting...the answer I got thrown back at me was "it's the bloody carbohydrates isn't it..." after which he went to get a small dessert, some banana and two bread rolls.......
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?