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Murder in the kitchen
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<blockquote data-quote="SockFiddler" data-source="post: 1535081" data-attributes="member: 412001"><p>I think there's a somewhat traditional mental break women (and men, too, if they're the family "nurturers") go through where we model "good" mothering on what we experienced as children and grandchildren (back in the days when we were raised to expect to nurture families of our own).</p><p></p><p>Certainly my best moments with my mother - which was always a strained relationship - were in the kitchen cooking, and her love very much was defined by the food we ate. Xmas Day was always us eating carbs until we were comatose otherwise she felt deeply rejected. I'm certain that's a hangover of her post-war childhood, when sugar and flour were still being rationed and, therefore, hard to come by.</p><p></p><p>So we start to raise our own families, cooking and providing for them, and though we may think we're liberal, modern folks, there's still a corner of our minds that equate love and nurturing with those big, sloppy cakes and licking the bowl and secret sweet stashes and chocolate on special occasions, tea and biscuits and so on, when, actually, the love that we have for our families is bigger and manifests itself in far more complicated ways than just how and what we feed them.</p><p></p><p>But I think it's a kind of social programming, in some ways, that we're unconsciously still trying to conform to.</p><p></p><p>Also, [USER=245335]@DavidGrahamJones[/USER] , you know better than this:</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I've seen you advise other people that it's not about will-power but about habit and breaking the addiction. Your will-power is fine - give yourself a break! <3</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SockFiddler, post: 1535081, member: 412001"] I think there's a somewhat traditional mental break women (and men, too, if they're the family "nurturers") go through where we model "good" mothering on what we experienced as children and grandchildren (back in the days when we were raised to expect to nurture families of our own). Certainly my best moments with my mother - which was always a strained relationship - were in the kitchen cooking, and her love very much was defined by the food we ate. Xmas Day was always us eating carbs until we were comatose otherwise she felt deeply rejected. I'm certain that's a hangover of her post-war childhood, when sugar and flour were still being rationed and, therefore, hard to come by. So we start to raise our own families, cooking and providing for them, and though we may think we're liberal, modern folks, there's still a corner of our minds that equate love and nurturing with those big, sloppy cakes and licking the bowl and secret sweet stashes and chocolate on special occasions, tea and biscuits and so on, when, actually, the love that we have for our families is bigger and manifests itself in far more complicated ways than just how and what we feed them. But I think it's a kind of social programming, in some ways, that we're unconsciously still trying to conform to. Also, [USER=245335]@DavidGrahamJones[/USER] , you know better than this: I've seen you advise other people that it's not about will-power but about habit and breaking the addiction. Your will-power is fine - give yourself a break! <3 [/QUOTE]
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