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My Dad doesn't seem to care about himself or us :(
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<blockquote data-quote="crackers" data-source="post: 3092" data-attributes="member: 4141"><p>Hi, I'm Cornwall_Em's sister, thanks for all the replies, I'm personally feeling fairly hopeless that my dad will ever change and this is just the last straw until he messes his health up completely. He's had Type II for a few years now and progressed from 'change your diet' to more and more pills as things have got worse, it hasn't been a sharp decline, he's had years to change. His nurse has warned him along the way that he needs to lose weight and improve his diet otherwise things will get much worse, but he seems pretty selfish and only willing to do things if they make him feel good, such as eating endlessly, rather than wanting to improve his health. His diet isn't quite as bad as it could possibly be but its quite a long way from 'healthy' and he isn't even trying to improve it.</p><p></p><p>After the appointment a week or two ago where he was told he'd have to go onto insulin asap he announced proudly to us that he'd only put on half a stone in the last 6 months, as if there was nothing wrong with that. I've worked out his BMI and he's quite a few points over morbidly obese so it's not as though he's just as little on the chubby side. He's had diabetes for years and has mild angina, and it just seems to be luck, not his own efforts, that his health hasn't gone downwards even faster.</p><p></p><p>Half an hour after the appointment he was stuffing his face with food, which just sums up his regular attitude to food. I think he needs counselling because he has such a bad attitude to his diet and exercise but he refuses all help and tells everyone they're trying to make him feel 'guilty' or 'depressed'. He even dared to tell my mum she wasn't being fair because he supported her through her illness (something serious that wasn't her fault and she did all she could to recover) which shows how selfish he is and how he sees himself as the innocent victim in everything.</p><p></p><p>Like my sister, and my mum, I just don't know what to do, I'm rapidly losing patience with him - if he's too selfish to even try to help himself then how hard should everyone else try? He won't even acknowledge that it affects other people, not just him. It's the rest of us who will lose a relative earlier than necessary, my mum who'll have to nurse him when his health deteriorates and me who's going to have to explain to my daughter why her grandad is ill/dead. I know illness can happen in the healthiest of people and everyone dies but it's hard to have sympathy when the person concerned doesn't even admit there's a problem.</p><p></p><p>I know this all makes me sound harsh and uncaring but when you try and help someone and they throw it back just because they're lazy there has to come a point when you snap and get completely fed up, and I think I'm getting very near that point! I don't know what to do or say to him, he seems determined to kill himself and he's almost proud of it so where can the rest of us even start?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="crackers, post: 3092, member: 4141"] Hi, I'm Cornwall_Em's sister, thanks for all the replies, I'm personally feeling fairly hopeless that my dad will ever change and this is just the last straw until he messes his health up completely. He's had Type II for a few years now and progressed from 'change your diet' to more and more pills as things have got worse, it hasn't been a sharp decline, he's had years to change. His nurse has warned him along the way that he needs to lose weight and improve his diet otherwise things will get much worse, but he seems pretty selfish and only willing to do things if they make him feel good, such as eating endlessly, rather than wanting to improve his health. His diet isn't quite as bad as it could possibly be but its quite a long way from 'healthy' and he isn't even trying to improve it. After the appointment a week or two ago where he was told he'd have to go onto insulin asap he announced proudly to us that he'd only put on half a stone in the last 6 months, as if there was nothing wrong with that. I've worked out his BMI and he's quite a few points over morbidly obese so it's not as though he's just as little on the chubby side. He's had diabetes for years and has mild angina, and it just seems to be luck, not his own efforts, that his health hasn't gone downwards even faster. Half an hour after the appointment he was stuffing his face with food, which just sums up his regular attitude to food. I think he needs counselling because he has such a bad attitude to his diet and exercise but he refuses all help and tells everyone they're trying to make him feel 'guilty' or 'depressed'. He even dared to tell my mum she wasn't being fair because he supported her through her illness (something serious that wasn't her fault and she did all she could to recover) which shows how selfish he is and how he sees himself as the innocent victim in everything. Like my sister, and my mum, I just don't know what to do, I'm rapidly losing patience with him - if he's too selfish to even try to help himself then how hard should everyone else try? He won't even acknowledge that it affects other people, not just him. It's the rest of us who will lose a relative earlier than necessary, my mum who'll have to nurse him when his health deteriorates and me who's going to have to explain to my daughter why her grandad is ill/dead. I know illness can happen in the healthiest of people and everyone dies but it's hard to have sympathy when the person concerned doesn't even admit there's a problem. I know this all makes me sound harsh and uncaring but when you try and help someone and they throw it back just because they're lazy there has to come a point when you snap and get completely fed up, and I think I'm getting very near that point! I don't know what to do or say to him, he seems determined to kill himself and he's almost proud of it so where can the rest of us even start? [/QUOTE]
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