@CherryAA that's what's happened today, I've just tested high and again I feel a failure and deflated,my body wants to rid itself of the food (one egg at breakfast, a bowl of veg at lunch and teatime was some chicken and 6 sprouts) I feel a bit foolish telling people I've eaten 6 sprouts and some chicken,it just doesn't sound right does it? I thought this was over but obviously it still has a hold over me. I want to rip it out of my stomach (I'm too scared to injure myself,not that I want to!) Oh dear me. Perhaps my expectations were too high? I'm really trying not to dwell on the bad things but it won't go away.its sitting there like a brick.