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Message: <blockquote data-quote="DreamKitty" data-source="post: 236078" data-attributes="member: 37240">Unbelieverthank you for your kind advice and thoughts. My uncle and aunts, including my dad deep down inside knew she was going to die. They were right beside her, she also had grandchildren (my cousins) who looked after her, clothes & washed her, she had a bedpan as well. She did not die suddenly since she had the infection for 2 years. I agree that sudden death is the most upsetting.I looked at her photo the day after she died and cried like a baby. Then when my dad  stayed with my uncle and his family for 6 weeks, to sort out the funeral service and just really stay to support one another. When he came back home, I cried again because I can still see the pain in his face & can't directly look at his eyes. Sometimes I just want to get out of the house because seeing my dad just makes me even more sad.Everyday he would phone my grandmother and now he told me that is gone. He said when things got really bad and when my grandmother was ill, he got to the lowest point and he prayed to God that he could be by her side at the moment of death and also  because he loved his mum the most, that God would make him die at the same time with his mum. He also feels that he is so alone and that the world does not seem like a world anymore without his mother. He just doesn't feel like living and has lost all enthusiasm for life. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown    :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" />Those kind of comments as his daughter hurts me as well because I do love my dad & I want him to know that Im still here. Sometimes it feels like grief can be selfish but maybe this is just the way my dad is dealing with it. Im more worried for him then me, if he could be happy & accept it then I could be happy. But at the same time it has made think about life and made me feel more love for the ones that I have here. My cousin also mentioned a similar thing to what you said, just to rest your mind and think that the pain is gone for her and because she did do good deeds in life, she is most probally is resting in heaven.</blockquote>

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