Need motivation!!!

Tske a look at this thread for ideas
https://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/category/low-carb-diet-forum.18/

I think you should choose your battles. You may need to see your doctor about treatment options for your mental health problems first. I think that carrying around the black dog of depression just makes every problem that much harder to cope with. Your motivation is your need for better health all round for you and for the the little chapess in the baby walker in your avatar.
Let's get right back to basics with a clear slate. Before I go, there are people that report an improvement in mental health once blood glucose levels come down and stabilise so there's everything to play for here.

Ask as many questions as you like, 'No job too small' as they say.
Best wishes.

Do you keep a food diary? I found having to test two hours after eating every time was also a great way to stop snacking. Combined it helps to work out which foods are troublesome for you. Once you have started to get that under your belt decide where you want to be by Christmas, set a target for your bg levels and once you have hit it for an entire day allow yourself a low carb 'treat' , berries and extra thick cream is mine or two squares of 85% chocolate. Perhaps then you may decide that you want to raise money for a local playgroup/charity of choice. Plan as far ahead as you can 'see', but gradually I found that I regained confidence.

Its a bit of a vicious one isn't it? If you ate better and took your pills you'd feel better mentally too but that is easier said than done. You've admitted you need help loud and clear and that is only brave and not a thing to feel guilt or shame about.
You have choices though which you could list out and hopefully talk through with someone you trust who isn't going to nag you:
1) carry on - it is what you are used to and probably feels safe but has obvious downsides not least of which is that you are feeling bad and not in control of your own life.
2) Ask for some help with the mental health issues -perhaps you already have but you owe it to yourself to keep fighting to feel better if things aren't working well for you.
3) Consider making 1 change in your lifestyle that you try for 1 day or 3 or a week e/g/ don't heap too much pressure on by making any long term commitment to being perfect! But stick to the promise you make yourself even if it seems a really small achievement. Giving up one of those comfort foods maybe? Perhaps you are telling yourself they are comforting but it seems to me that they are not making you feel much better anyway.
Perhaps you could walk in fresh air or dance or swim once a week. That could make you feel better.

What kind of foods do you like eating? Lets see if we can find something low carb or suggest some alternatives.

mickellwife said:

Crisps, and chocolate are my big things

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Not especially helpful on either weight loss or blood sugar control.. I was thinking more along the lines of eggs and bacon or steaks... 85% dark chocolate isn't too dreadful I recently discovered the Aldi ones with 4.6g of carb per 25g bar not bad tasting either.

Have you tried making your own crisps from different veg? Preferably those with fewer carbs than potatoes. Try some high percentage chocolate - 85% or more, most supermarkets have some. The important thing is to test after eating, I could not eat bread of any kind nor most fruit. The choice was relatively simple, eat bread/potato/fruit or risk the complications of diabetes. Once that was understood the choice is simple and the motivation/determination to keep going relatively easy. If you focus on the carbohydrate content of the food you are eating, not the calories, then the weight will start to drop.

mickellwife said:

I had boiled eggs, ham, cheese, tomatoes and cucumber and my sugar was still 10 2 hours after.

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well thats at least lower than they were before... ?

mickellwife said:

So it’s going in the right direction? I’m going to have salmon and veggies for tea later

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Lower will be better so yes.. what veggies?

Bringing it down slowly is considered better as it helps protect against false hypo feelings. You'll get there. Fingers crossed for 8s then 6s and lower. It will happen.

mickellwife said:

Broccoli, carrots and cauliflower. I went for a 10 min power walk and got back and my sugar was higher

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Carrots are relatively high carb.. and physical exertion can lead to higher blood sugar levels. A longer less intense walk may have the opposite effect but we are all a bit individual so I'm afraid you may need to experiment a bit to see what's best for you. The good thing is you are monitoring your blood sugars so can see what various food types and exercise is doing which is really great.