New to all this

Hi @caromia64 and welcome to the forum.
One reason for the confusion -apart from online liars and medics with no personal experience of diabetes who just follow what they were taught by the pharma companies - is that we with T2D or in remission from it all have unique gut biomes , genetics, tastes, culture etc. so all have varying reactions to the exact same meal.

But for the majority of us, all whole grains (just like refined grains) are to be avoided or considerably reduced because all carbohydrates (both starches and sugars) turn into sugars when digested, even whole grains like oats and 'healthy' tropical fruit or fruit juice (even apple juice).
One of the beast breakfast foods is Eggs, but alternatives are fish (e.g. kippers like in my parents days), meat, cheese, plain greek style yogurt with nuts/seeds/berries.

Welcome @caromia64
All carbohydrates apart from the fibre which passes right through will turn to glucose when digested.
If you can use that glucose efficiently then porridge is a healthy, nutritious food, if you can't then it will just cause higher blood sugar levels.
Lots of people, including dr's nurses and dieticians will say "oh but porridge is a slow release carb so it's good for blood sugars".
I'm willing to bet that none of them are diabetic and they have not tested their blood after eating porridge.
Slow release complex carbs just take longer to break down and release their sugars. But the sugar will still eventually get into the blood and it usually stays there longer

Start with the low-hanging fruit. Do you take sugar in tea or coffee? Do you drink soft drinks? Do you have sweets / chocolate / biscuits / cake / granola bars etc.? These are all simple things to change. You also don't mention what your HbA1c is. Some doctors are probably over-keen on starting T2 diabetics on metformin. Strongly suggest you also consider how many carbohydrates you eat - potatoes, rice, pasta, cous cous, bread and so on. Try to shift your diet to a lot more vegetables and less starch.