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New year,new goals

J

Jogreen21

Well-Known Member
Messages
187
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Here I am, it's a new year and it's going to be the best.darren made a lovely meal in New Year's Day, He cooked steak with mushrooms and onions and made a salad and home made chips! I managed to eat a bit of everything and it was amazing.Those of you who have been following my story know I've had a tough struggle with an eating disorder,at first I was counting from one hour to the next without making myself sick,then I was counting the days.Now I've stopped counting.Its been hard but I never thought I'd get to the end of the day without being sick but here I am in 2017 and I've still not made myself sick and to be honest I hardly ever think about it any more.My aim now is to start eating more,I know I can do it because I ate a bit of everything on my plate when darren cooked our New Year's Day dinner.I'm scared to eat any more different foods in case it brings back the cycle of eating and vomitting. I cannot go on eating only eggs,vegetables and pears!! Since New Year's Day I have tried to introduce other foods into my 'diet'. I've discovered I like roast chicken breast but again ,I cannot eat the same food daily anymore like I have been doing.Ive been eating one or two hard boiled eggs a bowl of mixed vegetables and either a yoghurt or a pear each day.Most people eat more than this for one meal.Ive made a list of the foods I like and at first was eating one item off the list for breakfast(I struggle with breakfast as I've never eaten so early ) one item for lunch and one for tea.since New Year's Day I've added chicken,tuna,smoked haddock,small jacket potato,and a few other foods and I'm trying now to eat a bit more and never eat the same things as the day before.so now I might eat my egg for breakfast,a small amount of tuna with salad for lunch and chicken and veg in the evening, but I try to eat something in between my meals like a cube of dark chocolate or a piece of cheese.Where I was once eating just a small amount of roast chicken by itself,I now eat more chicken but I eat it with salad.Its a lot of change for me and my DN is helping me and I'm making a food diary and I feel quite proud of myself when I see the different foods written down that I have eaten.I wanted to add an extra food item each day but it's too much so I'm trying to eat a food item with another ie,if I have some baked beans(low sugar low salt) I will have half a slice of toast with it.if I have an egg,I'll have a rasher of bacon too.Darrens motto is now 'no more lonely food' I don't know if it will work but I'm gonna give it a try.I do worry about overstepping the mark and being sick then all this hard work will have been for nothing.(I must admit I'm doing much better than this time last year!) and since I've started to eat a bit more I've started to lose the weight I've struggled so hard to lose over the last few years.my doctor did say to me that I needed to eat more in order to lose the weight (I need to lose 2 stone at least) I don't actually weigh myself as I'm frightened the anorexia rears its ugly head. All in all I'm feeling much more positive and as long as I can eat a bit more I'm going to be ok.Hope everyone out there is feeling as optimistic as me X X X X
 
What a wonderful post - you should be so proud of yourself! It's lovely to hear how Darren is supporting you too.

I think you're probably right to not weigh yourself too, I imagine it could be easy to get hung up on the numbers again. Concentrate on the healthier eating and hopefully feeling your clothes get a little looser will be enough to show you it's working out. I think you should start to feel healthier generally as your meals improve too - it's not all about those kgs. I know it's easy for me to say, and a lot harder for someone with your background to do, but try to look at the big picture.

Very best wishes, Beccy x
 
@Jogreen21 - I have to say Jo, I am utterly astonished by the progress you have made in such a short time. Your description of your NY dinner, and that you ate some of everything was so exciting to me. Very, very well done.

I read that you would like to eat one new food a day? I would probably urge you not to go quite so specific, as somewhere along the line that’s going to be a failure. Maybe better to go for 3 new foods a week, or 5 new foods every two weeks? That way, you have a good chance of achieving it, in the shorter term, and you can always adjust your aim.

Many people, in reality, eat relatively limited diets. For sure, not so limited as yours has been, but many people have the same dinner every Thursday (I only use that example as it’s Thursday), and even more probably have a small range of foods they do for brekkers. Many folks like to be able to eat breakfast with hardly giving it any though.

One thing I would ask you to do is to ensure you have noted your first vomit-free day somewhere, because at some stage sooner or later, you’ll wonder about it. But, on the topic of being sick, if it happens I’m sure you would e disappointed, but it wouldn’t undo any of your good work. It would just mean you’d hit a bump in the road. Yes, focus on the positives, but don’t have a potential mishap as a potential disaster in your mind.

You touch on your fear of the demon of anorexia revisiting your life? Clearly I can’t speak for you, but I do empathise, as when I was diagnosed I hadn’t been on the scales for eons for exactly that fear. However, I eventually did give in and step on, one random day when there was a set of bathroom scales in front of me in a hardware store. I just decided I’d step on.

Of course, I had no idea what my starting point was, but that didn’t, and still doesn’t) matter. These days I do weight myself and am confident the Consultant treating me for anorexia, all those years ago, was correct. When I voiced exactly your fears; of a re-visit to him he was keen to reassure me that it was highly unlikely as most people change, over time, and it’s more likely I would find a different addiction (anorexia, for me being an addiction to controlling my food, and thus weight) with each decade that passed. I try not to hold him to his word on a new addiction for every decade, and over time I became more confident the re-visit was less and less likely.

And finally, how fab that you’re trimming up a bit! Isn’t it bizarre when you find you’re eating more yet losing weight?

Jo, you have many reasons to be cheerful and very optimistic about your future. I wish you continued good fortune and good health. You can do it.

Be proud of what you have achieved. I’m sure your partner must be beaming from ear to ear for you. He sounds like a keeper. I must say a massive well done again.
 
@Jogreen21

Wow, that post almost seems like a different person. 2016 was a momentous year for you, and for me too. I am so glad that your progress since the beginning of the year has been so good. Xmas can be difficult time of year for many of us, so its lovely that you start the new year on such an optimistic note. I too would urge you not to be too upset if you have a bad day, anyone can do that - I had a bad entire xmas as far as my blood sugars go, but I am back on track now.

I also would not be too worried if your diet lacks some variety, obviously you should try experimenting when you want to, but my own diet often says the same for a few days in a row when I find something I like.

Here is hoping that 2017 will see you achieve everything you want to do !
 
Well done @Jogreen21. I have not had to walk your path but I do appreciate how hard it has been and your achievement. Keep on taking small steps for another year.
 
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