Out of control when having a hypo

Hi there,

What I do know is that you should forgive yourself because it sounds like you were NOT in control of your thoughts and actions at the time this happened. I also know that the Police also believed this because you can rest assured, if they thought that this was a conscious or reckless act (ie, not taking your medication or being on drugs etc), they WOULD have charged you and taken you to Court, (that much I know for definite).

I don't know how long you have been a diabetic or whether you have gone low before and acted similar but all you can do now is look after yourself and speak with your Diabetic team to double check that your medications are still correct. I feel for you because it sounds like you are truly horrified at your actions and what you might have inadvertently done, I suggest you calm down, remember that you could not help what you did, you CAN seek help from your medical team and try to minimise any adverse effects of hypo's or whatever caused it. I am sure more help will be along soon, the best of luck to you.

Hi @Clashcityrocker . Welcome to the forum. So sorry it's not a good start to you joining the forum.
I've been doing this diabetic stuff for a fair few years now and have subsequently endured a good many hypos.
I won't bore you with the types of hypos but I'll get straight to the point.
I have also been where you are now with the same feelings.
Years ago I changed my insulin. Pork mixtard to novorapid. Unbeknown to me was how this change would affect me going hypo.
I have a wonderful, understanding and adorable wife who I worship.
Along came a novorapid hypo and for no reason I just knew that something wasn't right. I truly wanted to " hurt" for want of a better word , my wife. No idea why, but I just knew that if she had come near me I would have lost control and done her an injury. First time this happened I some how stayed calm enough and get my sugars back up. As soon as sugars rose all feelings of wanting to hurt anyone completely disappeared.
His incident played on my mind for along time after and haunted me. I did tell my wife and we agreed that if and when I went low again it would be best for her to keep her distance and observe from afar.
Maybe I had 2 or 3 more bad hypos like this, on each occasion I grabbed as much food as I could and went into the back garden alone. It was absolutely crazy but felt the safest thing to do for my wife.
These episodes lasted maybe 6 / 9 months then stopped as quick as they had started. Never had to endure such nightmare thoughts since (15 yrs + )
I was lucky compared to what you've been through but can fully understand how you are feeling now.
Those thoughts in your head, the guilt, the loss of apparent control, the fear of everything is something I understand with you.
This could quite easily be a one off and it could be a problem for x time. The operation may be the catalyst for what happened.
All I can offer is that you don't keep this inside, let it all out, especially with your girlfriend. Tell her everything you feel.
An old saying. " a problem shared is a problem halved "
Try to educate your girlfriend in hypo awareness and what to do to help both of you.

One thing I find really makes a hypo feel worse for me is when I feel I'm being patronised. My wife knows this. It makes a huge difference come hypo time.

You've got to be positive and move forward.

hey @Clashcityrocker
i have had the type of feelings you describe , though fortunately have never acted upon them.

my suggestion is to ask your care team what measures they have to assist you in getting better control to prevent this type of thing happening in the future.

perhaps running higher for a few weeks to help you regain better hypo awareness to start with......
( your DSN can advise on this )

sending a big hug to you too -- you must be going through the wringer emotionally right now

@Clashcityrocker . It sounds like you need to get back to your diabetic team to help you sort things out.
You shouldn't really be struggling like this. You need to regain hypo awareness and more control of your diabetes.
After so many years being diabetic it's easy to miss those little changes and just carry on day to day.
Perhaps you could try,with the help of your care team, go back to basics. As @himtoo points out running sugars a bit high/ doing control differently may help you regain control and re focus. I think we all at times lose that focus of life with diabetes.
24/7 little things creep in unnoticed and they become the norm.

Good luck for you and your girlfriend.

How are u managing with novorapid now?

Madmaureen said:

How are u managing with novorapid now?

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Not sure who you are asking.
If me. Well I'm getting on great with it now. Only problem was at start with aforementioned " aggressive hypos"
This was many years ago, I think it was just my body adapting to it.

Thanks I am on pork and have never changed all the time was just wandering if it was better for u.
Take care

Clashcityrocker said:

Thank you so much for taking the time to get in touch
I can confirm that my team has greatly reduced my background insulin and I am now running my insulin at between 6 - 8
Thank you and take care

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What is your insulin regime?
Many times when I go low it's because I've over cooked my bolus/ fast acting insulin.

Madmaureen said:

Thanks I am on pork and have never changed all the time was just wandering if it was better for u.
Take care

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I was on pork mixtard. Novorapid gives me far more control and options regarding food, timings and spontaneous decisions.

Well wont change for now have just done DAFNE course been so good for me and I also have the libre not sure how long I can afford it but it is better.
I have a new life and new beginning since the coucoursehrse and feel I am at last in control.
Have had no help for years and loads of hypos falling out of bed and in the high street hypos but to date nothing like what I have been like awful awful times before dafne.

@Clashcityrocker , You and your girlfriend had a terrifying experience, I can't imagine how I would feel when something like that happened to me. I guess it's very hard to find you can't trust yourself anymore and I hope you'll start to build confidence in yourself again real soon!
From my point of view, an outsider, you have been diabetic for a while, and nothing like this ever happened before. In fact, it happened in a very unusual situation: recovering from an operation and fighting an infection. To me, that suggests the chance of it happening again is very, very small.
In the meantime, I can imagine this might classify you for a cgm with an alarm when going low. Not only would it help prevent something like this from happening again, but probably more important, it might make you more confident and give you time to make peace with yourself again. (and as an extra you might get better control of your blood sugar as well )
Don't hesitate to ask for psychological help, I think I would need it to find myself again if something like this happened to me.
And last, a very big hug from me, sounds like you can use it!