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Parents Don’t Seem To Understand
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<blockquote data-quote="LooperCat" data-source="post: 1801803" data-attributes="member: 468055"><p>I imagine they’d be mortified if they knew they had made you feel like this, but it’s so difficult to talk to parents about this kind of thing when all they want to do is ease your burden and all. We parents do worry so much about our kids, even when they’re grown up and quite independent. Some mums take it personally if their child refuses a food treat, because they have offered it with love, and the two have become entwined. So by refusing a treat food like a doughnut, it feels like your love is being refused too, for many people - and they don’t realise the connection. Mind you, in my doughnut eating days, if I’d have offered my son one, and he said no, I’d have taken his first answer and troughed it myself <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>I have a close friend who is what the psychologists call a “feeder” - she shows her love for her friends and family by making them food, even if they don’t really want any, or can’t have it for whatever reason. She got really upset when I kept refusing the ice cream she wanted to buy for me when we were out one day - knowing that not only am I diabetic but also allergic to milk. I had to really put my foot down because it was getting embarrassing in the shop - other customers were actually telling me to just have one, because “one won’t hurt”, and that I was being ungrateful. Nightmare. But she was so desperate to show she cared for me, and that’s always been the way she does it - so I used the peanut allergy analogy. And that did the trick, although she then tried to buy a couple for me to take home for my husband and son! </p><p></p><p>Not sure if any of that rambling is in any way useful, but I can really empathise.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LooperCat, post: 1801803, member: 468055"] I imagine they’d be mortified if they knew they had made you feel like this, but it’s so difficult to talk to parents about this kind of thing when all they want to do is ease your burden and all. We parents do worry so much about our kids, even when they’re grown up and quite independent. Some mums take it personally if their child refuses a food treat, because they have offered it with love, and the two have become entwined. So by refusing a treat food like a doughnut, it feels like your love is being refused too, for many people - and they don’t realise the connection. Mind you, in my doughnut eating days, if I’d have offered my son one, and he said no, I’d have taken his first answer and troughed it myself ;) I have a close friend who is what the psychologists call a “feeder” - she shows her love for her friends and family by making them food, even if they don’t really want any, or can’t have it for whatever reason. She got really upset when I kept refusing the ice cream she wanted to buy for me when we were out one day - knowing that not only am I diabetic but also allergic to milk. I had to really put my foot down because it was getting embarrassing in the shop - other customers were actually telling me to just have one, because “one won’t hurt”, and that I was being ungrateful. Nightmare. But she was so desperate to show she cared for me, and that’s always been the way she does it - so I used the peanut allergy analogy. And that did the trick, although she then tried to buy a couple for me to take home for my husband and son! Not sure if any of that rambling is in any way useful, but I can really empathise. [/QUOTE]
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