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Parents Don’t Seem To Understand
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<blockquote data-quote="kitedoc" data-source="post: 1801998" data-attributes="member: 468714"><p>My thoughts are from observations and not professional opinion or advice. I hope they may help though!</p><p>With small to teenage child in Australia parents who seem over-protective are said to be practising<em><strong> 'helicopter parenting".</strong></em></p><p>In a way I guess it is their way of coping and trying to assuage their own fears about the welfare of their child(ren).</p><p>And I have seen <strong>parents with diabetic children, teenagers or young adults who try to 'normalise' that child,</strong> by pretending he/her can still eat all the normal things, not need to be cautions about driving etc. Again , it is a way of coping. And yes, it can drive you up the wall.</p><p><em>Unfortunately stern words, sighs, eruptions of frustration may just emphasis their need to normalise things further to relieve their own anxiety. </em></p><p>As a volunteer at camps for diabetic children and their parents, I can say that what you are experiencing is common in the younger age groups of diabetics. And some of the volunteers are teenagers and young adult diabetics who can also relate to your frustrations !!</p><p><em>The advantages though of such camps and 'get-togethers' was that parents could share their experiences and concerns with each other, observe how others dealt with issues to do their diabetic children, gain confidence to try out change their behaviours and see people modelling different behaviours. Of course, there was work needed to allow the children to be the subject of their parent's attempts to change.</em></p><p>The other thing that helped was<strong> having volunteers, nurses, and even some health professionals with diabetes at the camp. I overheard one mother remark about the doctor with diabetes " Well, if she has turned out alright, do I really need to fuss so much with my child!"</strong></p><p>All the above 'remedies' or strategies may not be practical for you or others in similar predicaments, however<em> if parents have someone they admire or look up to , like their GP,or a religious person or friends, particularly people who may have some experience of diabetes in the family, or have that really rare and precious commodity called 'common sense and experience ' perhaps with some explanation from you to explain your troubles a change of sorts might be possible. Professional help might be needed if a parent has severe behavioural problems, anxieties etc.</em></p><p><strong>Humour is sometimes an under-recognised and under-used resource.</strong> I recall one canny diabetic teenager who would deflect his mum with words like: "Thank you mum but my sugar is too high for that (cake, pie etc) but a beer and 3 triple Scotches would be grand "! That got her smiling, deflected her anxiety, made her feel needed and helped to lessen her need to keep up the cake routine. This guy was a natural. He intuitively used good eye contact, and touch appropriately and gave the impression of wicked conspiracy by adding " But please don't tell Dad what I asked for !" </p><p>As a daughter you may not think you could get away with his bravado but I am sure <strong><em>you could find equally humorous and outrageous scripts to follow ! And it is easier to laugh than to frown,. It takes far less muscles for one thing.</em></strong></p><p><strong><em>Good luck with training your parents.</em></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kitedoc, post: 1801998, member: 468714"] My thoughts are from observations and not professional opinion or advice. I hope they may help though! With small to teenage child in Australia parents who seem over-protective are said to be practising[I][B] 'helicopter parenting".[/B][/I] In a way I guess it is their way of coping and trying to assuage their own fears about the welfare of their child(ren). And I have seen [B]parents with diabetic children, teenagers or young adults who try to 'normalise' that child,[/B] by pretending he/her can still eat all the normal things, not need to be cautions about driving etc. Again , it is a way of coping. And yes, it can drive you up the wall. [I]Unfortunately stern words, sighs, eruptions of frustration may just emphasis their need to normalise things further to relieve their own anxiety. [/I] As a volunteer at camps for diabetic children and their parents, I can say that what you are experiencing is common in the younger age groups of diabetics. And some of the volunteers are teenagers and young adult diabetics who can also relate to your frustrations !! [I]The advantages though of such camps and 'get-togethers' was that parents could share their experiences and concerns with each other, observe how others dealt with issues to do their diabetic children, gain confidence to try out change their behaviours and see people modelling different behaviours. Of course, there was work needed to allow the children to be the subject of their parent's attempts to change.[/I] The other thing that helped was[B] having volunteers, nurses, and even some health professionals with diabetes at the camp. I overheard one mother remark about the doctor with diabetes " Well, if she has turned out alright, do I really need to fuss so much with my child!"[/B] All the above 'remedies' or strategies may not be practical for you or others in similar predicaments, however[I] if parents have someone they admire or look up to , like their GP,or a religious person or friends, particularly people who may have some experience of diabetes in the family, or have that really rare and precious commodity called 'common sense and experience ' perhaps with some explanation from you to explain your troubles a change of sorts might be possible. Professional help might be needed if a parent has severe behavioural problems, anxieties etc.[/I] [B]Humour is sometimes an under-recognised and under-used resource.[/B] I recall one canny diabetic teenager who would deflect his mum with words like: "Thank you mum but my sugar is too high for that (cake, pie etc) but a beer and 3 triple Scotches would be grand "! That got her smiling, deflected her anxiety, made her feel needed and helped to lessen her need to keep up the cake routine. This guy was a natural. He intuitively used good eye contact, and touch appropriately and gave the impression of wicked conspiracy by adding " But please don't tell Dad what I asked for !" As a daughter you may not think you could get away with his bravado but I am sure [B][I]you could find equally humorous and outrageous scripts to follow ! And it is easier to laugh than to frown,. It takes far less muscles for one thing. Good luck with training your parents.[/I][/B] [/QUOTE]
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