• Guest, the forum is undergoing some upgrades and so the usual themes will be unavailable for a few days. In the meantime, you can use the forum like normal. We'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the 2025 Survey »

Type 1 Pulling out eyelashes

D

Danielle84

Member
Hi, I have a 7 year old daughter with type 1 diabetes she was diagnosed 2 years ago and she's amazing like all type 1 kids she's a superstar and just gets on with it all, over the last year I've started noticing little things,she struggles with her emotions not in the way where she can tell me she loves me or anyone else in the family but if I ask her to sit down and talk about something I can see straight away that this makes her uncomfortable, then a few weeks ago she started pulling her eyelashes out they are now completely bald should I be concerned and does anyone have any advice, putting that aside she is a healthy happy child and shows no other signs of anything being wrong, sorry in advance for the long message .
 
You need to take her to your GP, pulling eyelashes out is not normal for anyone.
 
Tipetoo said:
You need to take her to your GP, pulling eyelashes out is not normal for anyone.
Click to expand...
Originally when I asked her about it she told me she wanted to make wishes like when u lose one and blow it to make a wish and I think that what's stopped me from worrying too much but I know something's not right
 
Danielle84 said:
Originally when I asked her about it she told me she wanted to make wishes like when u lose one and blow it to make a wish and I think that what's stopped me from worrying too much but I know something's not right
Click to expand...
I have three kids myself.
I would guess she's making a wish every night.
I would further guess the wish is that she isn't diabetic.
But I can't offer an answer, other than time I'm afraid, and care, and the best mum in the world to her, which you seem to be already.
 
douglas99 said:
I have three kids myself.
I would guess she's making a wish every night.
I would further guess the wish is that she isn't diabetic.
But I can't offer an answer, other than time I'm afraid, and care, and the best mum in the world to her.
Click to expand...
And that I will be and plenty of cuddles it's hard to work out whether it is as simple as her making a wish or stress of the rubbish she has to deal with on a daily basis me and my partner have decided after a chat with her tonight where there doesn't seem to be anything bothering her that we should give it a couple of weeks and reassess the situation
 

It's not simple to make a wish when you're seven, if you are making a wish because of stress.
I think she is very stressed, but when you are seven magic is still possible.
It's a delicate situation, but it does require some care, as you can't promise it'll get better, but you can't get to the situation where she'll shoot the messenger, but you can't simply gloss over it.
I'm sorry not to be able to offer anything remotely useful, but it's something that requires her to approach you, rather than you to push, but then again, that's based on my kids, so everything is always fluid, based on all the personalities involved.
 
You're completely right because as I've already said when I ask her to sit down with me for a chat she shuts it down I can see her tense up so although you don't feel like you've helped in actual fact you have in confirming what deep down I already knew, I know she's stressed but not enough to go running to her nurse/doctor Monday morning I'll give it a week or 2 and reassess and thank you i appreciate you taking time out to give your opinion
 

All you can do is your best.
It may be difficult, you may have to do stuff you don't want to, you may have to bite your tongue, you may think you completely messed it up, but all you can do is be there for her.
It'll turn around.
You also need to find time for you, and your partner, as the stress can overwhelm you, and you need to be looked after too, and so does he.
 
Thank you I really do appreciate your advice and yes it is overwhelming but it's hard to think about yourself when your so worried about your kids but I will try and find some me time I know it's important
 
Hi,

My wife's colleague has a daughter with "Alopecia"? (Non diabetic.)
Any how this kid gets trawled round doctors & specialists & all are at a loss....
The one day her mum noticed the daughter in a garden hammock? (From memory.) literally twirling her hair and pulling it out..
Confronted the girl admits she's been pulling at it all along.
Now the mother said to my wife the girl had no trouble at school. & to be fair, at that age getting caught up in the whole "seeing specialist" I suppose would be like a "Chinese finger trap" to a child mindset...?

I was told this back last year over the dinner table with my wife discussing "the day." So sorry if a bit sketchy.? I could clarify it more with my wife?
However. This sort of similar behaviour maybe more common than you think for different reasons..

I tend to agree with @douglas99 . (It does sound like "fairy tale" dandelion blowing or Daisy petal plucking.)
I must admit that when I was diagnosed on my 8th birthday, I sensed my mum's sadness (change in family dynamics.) thus taking control of my own diabetes as a way of alleviating what I felt at the time as "my fix"..?
But I was a little older than your girl... Never any resentment. I just saw it as a problem that needed solving.

Probably why I like to keep on top of the thought processes keeping the communication with my wife too. Clarity stops any self doubt on both sides.
 
Last edited:
Is she maybe doing a bargaining thing - "If I lose/give up my eye lashes, maybe I'll rid of/someone will take away my diabetes?" I did have that kind of logic aged 7! Still do in some ways.

Distraction worked with a young man (T1) I know.

He, eventually, managed to identify his triggers (stress and/or boredom) and kept something in his bag he could use to feel or play with instead. I also kept various sensory toys with me and would give them to him if I spotted him twisting his hair. (Bald patches a-plenty for a year or so... and bald eye-lids during a particularly bad episode.)

It was worse during particularly bad spells of control of his blood sugars, but also during a couple of other difficult episodes. Maybe a way of punishing himself?

He occasionally, several years on, still does it momentarily, absent-mindedly, but can stop himself now. Especially if he's been reminded if I am in the vicinity.....
 
Danielle84 said:
Originally when I asked her about it she told me she wanted to make wishes like when u lose one and blow it to make a wish and I think that what's stopped me from worrying too much but I know something's not right
Click to expand...

I'd gently explain that that doesn't work, just in case she's genuinely only doing it for that reason. If worry about diabetes is the cause, then maybe emphasise how hard people are working to find a cure.

But I'd definitely keep an eye on things as sometimes pulling hair/eyelashes out can become a compulsion and be hard to stop (trichotillomania).

I feel for you - it must be upsetting to see.
 
I am not a parent and can only empathise. Maybe next time you 'have a chat' ask her if pulling out her lashes has given her what she wishes for, you already know the answer to that one. Then suggest that when you were a child something else, less self abusive, was what people did who wanted something really badly. Wearing odd socks works for some sports people. Then when her lashes start to grow back comment on how lovely her eyes look, even at 7 we all like a little flattery.
 
4 year olds who have been told to imagine a monster in a box will back away from the box because they don't understand that imagining doesn't make something real. By about 7 or 8 most kids are getting to grips with the difference between imagine and reality but there's still a bit of a cross over, there can still be a belief in Father Christmas or the tooth fairy. You might need to explain that wishing on eyelashes is just something people say, it doesn't make the wishes come true. Or stress that it's only for eyelashes that fall out, not for eyelashes pulled out.

Wishful thinking is great but there is a risk of obsessive behaviour if left unchecked. A bit of reality is good too. Maybe have a look for a Jdrf discovery day in your area - a good way to meet other families with type 1 and learn about research into treatments. It might do her good just to see other people with diabetes and it might open the door for her to open up about what she's feeling if she can do it talking about the girl she met today...
 
I agree with @azure that the first thing to do is to make sure that she understands that 'eyelash wishes' won't work. If you think the problem is caused by stress, which is quite possible, one line of attack is to engage her in some enjoyable stress-reducing activities such as sport, riding, cycling or dance. If her stress is reduced by physical activity, she may feel less like pulling her eyelashes out. Another thing that might help is a 'worry' doll. The child writes their worries down and zips them up in the doll's mouth.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_s...ld-keywords=worry+toy&rh=n:468292,k:worry+toy

There is a lot of information about trichotillomania on these pages:- http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/trichotillomania/Pages/introduction.aspx

It is also possible that the problem might be occurring due to irritation - allergy, eczema, skin fungus etc. so could be worth getting your GP to check that out.
 
Yeah I told her it didn't work like that and the eyelash had to fall out on it's own but she's carried on doing it I think it's become a habit now, it's just hard to understand because she truely is a happy little thing
 
It might be stress but it might just be a habit. I'm sure she is happy However, you're wise to keep an eye on it discreetly.

If she does it at certain times eg when watching TV, then maybe something else to keep her fingers busy might work - a craft, fiddle bracelets, a doll, a toy, etc

It's always worth checking there's nothing else worrying her eg at school.

You said she struggles with her feelings and opening up. Maybe someone like a teacher, a relative, her DSN might be of help there?
 


They've offered to refer her to someone at the hospital if we ever need it at the time I didn't see it nessessary but maybe it's time to consider it, there was no reason they asked us it's something offered to all the kids incase they are ever struggling. Maybe I'm just over thinking a purely innocent bad habit.
 
Is there another way you could have her make wishes? maybe tell her you're going to choose a special "wish-bear" then both go and choose a new bear that she could make her wishes to.
 
poor little darling, yes cuddling and hugs and embracing do lower stress in people and even more in children as they are more in need of physical connections like from parents especially ... to lower stess it is also important to correct the child as little as possible as that creates a feeling of being wrong.... lots of praise for just being them and telling the child how much the parent love them... and feeling the parent takes the resposibillity not giving the child it too much .. sitting close reading stories and giving the child something to have in the hands meanwhile so she doen´t pick her eyelashes when sitting there and the same give her something to have in her hands while watching television, My daughter has a straw of plastic to chew in while watching telly as she did and unfortunately still bite her nails, sometimes she still goes get a plastic straw to chew in instead of her nails... but she is too old now for me to help in that matter...like almost grown up now..
but it is hard and some children do need other children like them selves to feel normal.. just like they are... but could maybe be a good idea to have a talk with a counsellor
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Menu
Log in
Register
Cookies are required to use this site. You must accept them to continue using the site. Learn More.…