Hi,
I am horrified at this treatment of your son. I saw your post on the CWD site and thought the advice excellent so didn't add my own two penn'orth then, but will now. I think I remember you said it was an independent school.
It is easy to assume the worst of the school and want to go in guns blazing. You may just be facing a wall of ignorance and a lack of communication instead, and I would start with that assumption. In 99% of schools the needs of the child are paramount in people's minds and they just find it difficult to balance their desire to do all they can with fears about repurcussions if things go wrong...personal liability etc etc. I would try to start with the belief that it is all a misunderstanding and can be sorted out, and that everyone wants to do the best for your son - trying to keep the moral high ground yourself - and then if it turns out they are being consciously obstructive I would go in then guns ablazing - in fact I would remove him from the school.
I would contact the school, again, and ask for an urgent and immediate meeting with the Head. The Nurse should be present, not only because she is on side, but also because it is her job to be involved in pupils with medical needs. I would agree with her who is going to lead the meeting - either you as the parent or her as the medical professional.
I would go through, gently and logically, the story of your son's diagnosis and subsequent treatment. I would go through everything he has to do and think about as far as diabetes is concerned, in addition to his school work. Try to be calm and realistic: don't scare them off with horror stories at the beginning about things that can go wrong, but emphasise the fact that this condition, when managed well, will not stop him doing anything.
Explain your concerns about the members of staff concerned. Ask to have a second meeting with all staff who currently teach him, to go through this information again, with the Nurse. Ask to have a meeting with the year group and explain to them what is going on. At all times try to present the view that clearly the school must want to do whatever it takes to keep one of their pupils safe and fulfilling their potential, and to date maybe they have not fully understood the implications of this diagnosis and you would like to work together to ensure that his future is as everyone was envisaging in September before diagnosis. Charm them with a velvet glove into changing their attitude, with the iron fist evident but not on show. At all times tell them what you would like to happen. Let them be in no doubt that if this is not just a lack of communication and they are discriminating against your son the Chair of Governors will be involved.
The school must not block his applications to other schools. It may be that they are dragging their feet on the basis of his exam performance so soon after diagnosis, which is really unfair and discriminatory. Speak personally to the heads of the other schools and explain the situation to them. Bear in mind they may be friends with your existing head, so go along the "I'm sure it is a misunderstanding but...." line with them too. You can build up a relationship with the next school on your own; you don't need to be sponsored by the Head of this school.
To give an idea of good practice in an independent school: my daughter was diagnosed aged 4 at the beginning the October half term of Reception. The hospital phoned the school on the Monday and by the Wednesday the Head of Pre Prep had phoned me at home from her holiday and also arranged a meeting for the Monday morning with: all staff who had anything to do with Reception (5 of them), the Nurse and the head of the Catering dept. The Head of the whole school found me on that Monday to ask if there was anything else we needed, and said that as a school they would do whatever was necessary for any pupil in the school - that was their job. I went into school to do the lunchtime injections for that week. On the Thursday the PDSN came in and spoke again to all the staff at the first meeting (except the catering staff) and had them all injecting pads and doing finger pricks on each other. She then supervised the school nurse doing injections and signed her off as capable. The school nurse then supervised the staff until they felt happy. The staff were asked if they wanted to volunteer to do her injections and all said they were. They did not want the disruption of the Nurse coming in before lunch and making it seem as if S was 'ill'.
I went into school at the beginning of September and trained up the Year One teachers, and now S has started on a pump so I have been in again teaching them to use that. To be honest it is easier for me to do it than the PDSNs.
The only other diabetic in the school's experience was diagnosed in year 7 I think, and had similar support, although she, like your son, was doing her own injections etc. She is now off at boarding school in year 9 and that school were similarly supportive once the condition was explained to them fully.
Sorry this has turned into an essay - do get in touch if I can be of any help!
Mary
Daughter S diagnosed Oct 2009 aged 4.
On pump March 2011