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Some advice for partner of type 1 boyfriend

H

happydayz7

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Hi everybody.
I hope this is the right place for asking advice - I think I could really do with some insight of other partners and also those of the male perspective on my question.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and have been living together for 2 years. He was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes back when he was 11 and he is now 36. He is using lantus and has been for about 3 years now (prior to that a fairly old school mix in vials) and the lows and highs have been pretty well controlled.
He leads a very active life, healthy diet and seems well healthwise.
We ended up having a chat the other night about our future plans, buying a home, marriage and kids. We've always steered away from the topic of kids as he does tend to just shut down. It was quite upsetting most recently as he more of less said he doesn't want children. I really do and am finding it very difficult.
However, we've since talked it through and it turns out its because he's so scared of giving the children diabetes as he hates the idea of injecting a baby and passing on the negatives of diabetes. He's the only one in his entire family with type 1 and infact no-one has type 2 either. I've had a look online at the rates of genetic transmission etc, and just wanted to see what you thought? Do you have similar worries, have you been through this, have you gone ahead and had children anyway?
Sorry for the barrage of questions, I did discuss things with him about everyone having the potential of some hidden nasties that you have no ideas about, me for instance, but I just wanted to see what other partners and type 1 people thought?
Thank you in advance for your help!
 
Like your partner I have type 1 (newly diagnosed) and noone in my family has diabetes of any sort (yet). For me the question about having children is a moot point, I'm a mother of 2 who were born before my diagnosis.

I too am concerned about passing on my diabetes as a legacy, however its not something I can do anything about now. Would it have changed my mind about having my children? No, but its very easy to say that in hindsight. I know I will be having no more children, my son was very premature and its not a risk I am willing to take. He was incredibly lucky to survive and even more so without any major life altering disabilities.... so no thanks, never again. However had he not been preemie, I would love another child and considering my background I would take advice from the doctors in managing my diabetes and a healthy pregnancy along with researching into the hereditary side of things.

I would contact the relevant bodies who are researching into the genetic side of diabetes and pose the question to them. Finding out the likelyhood of your children also being affected would be a good starting point to any discussions, but remember that its unlikely that anyone can give you a definitive answer.

What I will say, is that (as I found out) diabetes can affect anyone, regardless of family history. If one of my children is unlucky enough to get it, then what better family to do so? I would hope that I would have some of the understanding, experience and knowledge needed to help him/her through the early days, they would (and have) see me taking control and administering insulin so needles would hold less fear (kids are curious things - and seeing me not screaming after every injection made my sons school jabs last week a doddle). There is also the added benefit of all your knowledge being able to spot the warning signs early, and taking action BEFORE complications arise or the dreaded DKA.

I have no idea if this has helped or not, but I wish you and your partner the very best - whatever you decide.
 
hi this is my first time on a what ever you call it furum. just had to try and help you. I have been a type 1 for 17 years. I have 3 children since becoming a diabetic and all are fantastic. So don"t be put off beening diabetic having children its fantastic. :thumbup: markerman
 
Hi. If only we could predict genetics in our offspring! And a geneticist would also give you probabilities.....chance, maybe or maybe not ever. No one with a condition would wish to inflict it on their child, so I understand your partner's hesitation. My 6 yr old has been diagnosed for a month now. No history in any of our families. Stats say T1 could manifest any age, 6 or 26, mean appears between 10-14. And the technological advances are amazing. I'm very confident when my daughter's a teenager we won't be doing finger pricks to test glucose any more. Read the forums and you'll see many healthy people who've been managing diabetes for years. People cope with worse. I read a saying recently - if everyone put their problems in a pile you'd be quick to take yours back. I could easily spend all day worrying. But I hope my daughter chooses to live life rather than let it beat her down. Sorry I haven't got the experience your after but I wanted to through out some words of encouragement. Best Wishes, Tracy
 
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