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Stress and Diabetes

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HpprKM

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Self absorbed and rude people! Motorists who are oblivious to the rest of the world, and really don't give a ****!
I am wondering if the great wise out there have any suggestions on combating stress? I am finding my job extremely stressful this year, compounded with various other factors such as combating diatetes every day and some other minorish health issues and a few (as most people do have) life issues.

The job is a highly stressful one, and for some odd reason this is a very difficult year, many of my colleagues are stressed and some are even off long term sick with stress, so this is virtually unavoidable. Quite frankly I would love to retire having worked on and off most of my adult life, but due to finances this is not possible at this time. I would have been reaching retirement age this year, except as a female born in 1950 the Government are now implementing the increase in female retirement as of that year, which means I now have to wait until next year. Most days I feel I can hardly manage, I get so exhausted and come home to fall asleep in the chair almost every night, also starting to feel physical symptoms as I am on my feet so much, getting leg pain and my feet are so hot and tingly each night in bed after work.

There was a very uncomfortable incident at work this week, which really was not of my doing, but it seems that I am to be held responsible for not knowing something that apparently I should have, guess I am supposed to be psychic, the work in which this happened was a task that was new to me this year, and because there has been so much 'bad stuff'' going on in the staff room, and everyone is so stressed themselves I never got any help in understanding it, although I did ask many times I was repeatedly waved in the general direction of some paper work that was supposed to help me, in the end I was feeling so uncomfortable about this that I decided that I must try to get to grips with it unaided. This trouble is the result, this week the Head of Department has asked to meet me and I know this is going to be a dressing down, just don't feel I can cope with it, if pushed too far I feel I may tell them I will resign, which is really not the best option - yet I feel pushed into a rock and a hard place.

Just wondering if anyone has any advice how to overcome this dreadful feeling of stress I am going through, I used to be so strong but so much has happened over the last few years, including a rather nasty divorce, a son who has been undergoing extreme pressure in similar work as my own, and became ill as result - and a daughter who is expecting first baby who was hospitalised last Friday with Norovirus, plus I had surgery in November and a really nasty virus just after Christmas, all my strengh seems to have left me - and on top of all that the diabetes diagnosis a couple of years ago and the normal realisastion that this is with me for life¬ hate to sound so miserable and self pitying - this may be difficult to believe but I am normally so optimistic, but I really could do with some advice, this is all getting too much to deal with :cry:
 
Hi HpprKM.

You sound really badly stressed. This is an illness and I would advise you to get yourself off to your GP and get signed off for a while. You need to distance yourself from the things that are causing you the stress. Work appears to be a major factor here.

You need to see if you can perhaps get some counselling through a referral from your GP. This in itself can help as you will be able to unburden yourself to a complete stranger, letting out all those things that you are maybe bottling up inside, things you might not want to share with close family, friends, relatives. It is a great stress reliever, believe me !

I am speaking from my own experience here, if you carry on you will just 'crack', it happened to me 12/13 years ago. It took the breakdown to get me to confront the things which had built up in my life, traumas, bereavements, work conditions. everything put together was just too much for a previously strong 49 yr old male. I was an emotional wreck.....a disaster. It took time but I was basically taken apart, cleaned, then put back into good working order. Stress free.

We here can help with the sympathy and some sort of help with our advice, we are always here to try and help in the best way we can.....support.

So, tomorrow, get that appointment.....get yourself off sick and start to take back that control of your life. Control, which just for now appears to be getting away from you.

I know things will improve, we recently had another member who was in a similar situation to you, he is now much more positive about things. Due to the help and support of the many really good people on here. YOU will get that support and help too. Just you wait and see !

Best of luck.

Ken
 
letting out all those things that you are maybe bottling up inside, things you migh not want to share with close family, friends, relatives. It is a great stress reliever, believe me !
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What a kind reply, thank you so much! I really know I should see GP but with so many others off sick from work I feel I am letting them down. My work is actually a College Lecturer and some of the students are particularly difficult to deal with this year, unfortunately, my daughter does same work as I do and is undergoing her own issues so cannot burden her with mine. I hate to tell my husband because he will worry! Sons are living abroad and I really have no other close family left in this country since losing my parents over the last few years, and I do miss them all so badly right now! I have a most wonderful daughter-in-law married to my son, and when I am with them I feel so peaceful and cared for, and feel like I just want to get a ticket to fly out to be with them for a while - of course this is not practical but when I am really down the temptation is very strong! I have so much to be happy for, many good things, my husband takes me to see my sons at least once a year, and although I have some personal financial burdens acquired from a year's unemployment after high earning job came to stop - ny husband is financially sound. I know I should be grateful so many people worse off, as far, but somehow when the pressure is on it is really hard to appreciate the good things!

Thanks again for your kind words, funnily enough I used, and still do in a way, enjoy my work and would like to carry on with it, but it has been so difficult, on top of which I am now on a p/t Uni course to gain my full teaching accreditation, over Christmas when I was feeling really unwell I had to get an important bridging portfolio completed by 14 Jan to get on the course, at the same time we received notification that our teaching observations were taking place in last two weeks of January, and believe me each and every teacher stresses about that, so has been even more intense at work!

Everyone says I am strong, and I suppose I must be, but sometimes I feel like saying I do not want to be strong any more it is exhausting

I am taking your advice and booking GP tomorrow, as it is half term I do not work tomorrow, but have to see Head on Weds and feel sick at the thought, I work so hard and feel resentful at being 'admonished' over an incident that I truly know is not my fault, yet naturally I am calling myself to judgement feeling that I must be wrong or lacking in some way, even though I had my teaching observation with some extremely good comments :?

Sorry to be such a drag, I hate it. But I have found this forum so very useful in many ways and knew you would not let me down :wink:

It just feels good to get this all down in writing!
 
First of all get rid of the guilt that in some way you are letting people down. YOU are the important person here. You are NOT letting anybody down !

You are helping yourself at the minute by talking about things which concern you. That has to be good, it helps. It is not as good as talking, counselling, but it will help. We don't know you but we can totally sympathise and offer our own thoughts.

You will be off sick. You DO NOT go into work at all. That is just adding pressure on yourself, stress that you do not need. You must not go in to see anybody at all.

I have a dear friend who was a teacher and your circumstances are almost a carbon copy of hers, a head who was not supportive, who was belligerent and unhelpful. A sick note which indicated Stress soon had the head singing a different tune,especially when as you say that there are others off sick with the same sort of thing. Forget about work and what they need, it is what YOU need. You need to get away from it all.

You also need to share this with your husband, I am sure when he knows what you are going through he will support you. I know from my own experience keeping it to yourself is not a wise thing to do, share ! Even if you crack up, it is no shame. I lost count of the times this big strapping male burst into tears. Do not keep this to yourself, please.

Please, please do not go anywhere near work while you are off sick. It is imperative that you keep away from it. They cannot make you do anything at all.

Ken
 
Ditto what Ken says. Also, remember that when stressed, your body releases the stress hormone cortisol, which effectively renders you unable to think straight - the ancient body process that lets us simply fight, take flight or pretend to be dead (the latter sounds a good option for hiding from that awful Head!). In those days you didn't sit around admiring the physique of the sabre-tooth tiger so you didn't need to think much, just save yourself! So thought is out for now because of the cortisol. Which is why a counsellor in a stress-free environment may well be a good option for a while. See what you think when you've spoken to the GP. If there's a waiting list for NHS-supplied CBT, I suggest you try another route. Waiting lists add to stress because you can't plan or take charge of your future very well, and then you get more stressed, which the good folk on here tell me is bad for blood glucose levels – which should be your main concern right now? And yes, some of us have found that low-carbing (to whatever extent you feel comfortable with) can make your bg levels much better and also lower tiredness levels and improve general wellbeing feelings. You could give it a try at any rate. All grist to the mill! And good luck. You've had a hard few years and deserve some time to care for yourself or you won't be there for all the grandchildren your kids are lining up!
DG
 
i am in total agreeance with ken,
while you are off sick ,try to relax and do things that you find relaxing, you need some me time, you never know u may feel back to normal quicker than u think,
we all soldier on and then bang u will find you are having a breakdown, i too have been there and spent a short time in a mental unit a few yrs ago ,get yourself sorted before you get any worse and good luck x
 

You have so hit the nail on the head, I am worried about my glucose levels, I know that stress can make them rise, also suffer from tinnitus, this has increased with stress, I am grinding teeth in sleep and having nightmares, and I so want to be healthy enough to enjoy my grandchildren, not wear myself out in this way, work is fine but not with all this added stress!

However, I have a fear of being seen not to cope, not only for my employers and peers, but for myself and my husband. I realise I have to share this with him, but he is not very good with emotions and tends to get stressed himself, if I stress him out it will impact on my own stress, I will talk to GP, she is very understanding and seek her advice, also counselling but maybe privately, we have stress advice at work, perhaps give them a call, assuming they are bound to being unbiased, unless anyone has advice in this area of where to go from own experience of knowledge.

Thanks guys, you are great!
 
Also, should mention, I am afraid I will lose my job, that they will find some excuse to oust me - as has recently happened with a new member of staff just a week ago!
 
First of all get rid of the guilt that in some way you are letting people down
Click to expand...

Sadly in my job this is not the case, when people are off others have to cover and making their job much harder, it is so bad that our cover lecturers are quitting and complaining that they are getting stressed, one has resigned from last week, the other has said she is cutting back!
 
It's natural to feel guilty about letting others down. You are all victims of the system. But it's time to think of yourself. As must all the others in a similar position. The college will have to bring in robots.

Possibly you are covered on sick pay for a while? If so, you may be about to get the opportunity you need to re-consider which job to do. It's difficult to do that while tied in to the daily grind. You maybe won't feel much like it today, but keep this phrase in mind and see what it does to your brain after a few days: "Aha! This stumbling block looks much like a solid stepping stone when seen from above." It's not trying to trick yourself, it's simply programming your brain to get thinking subconsciously! ;-)

DG
 


Sorry, that is not the way to think.

I used to be a Police Officer, my job was extremely stressful and others had to cover if I went off sick, I was in a Specialist Dept which I ran. That caused problems for them, it was not MY problem. My problem was myself, so I had to concentrate on that and forget about any effect on the job or others that it may have had. YOU have to look after yourself, forget about anything else. Difficult I know, they will get by.....it simply isn't your problem at all.

As for losing your job there is a long winded procedure which has to be followed before anybody can be dismissed. Staying off sick complicates matters for any Employer.

 So stay off sick, look after number 1.......YOU ! ))))))bloke hugs(((((( :wink:

Ken
 
Hi HpprKM,

First of all, (((((hugs))))) to you.

Excellent advice from everyone.

Remember that the churchyard is full of people who thought that they were indispensable. Loading people with the work done by others is obviously not the solution as it creates a vicious circle.

Your employers are creating a workplace environment that is causing stress all round and if it carries on then the situation will get worse, not better. Your loyalty is to yourself, nobody else. You obviously have been doing the job to the best of your ability and now is the time to take a stand for your own sanity. Stress is a recognised illness, you have a recognised illness. Because you cannot see it doesn't mean that you are not ill. The longer you leave it then the longer it will take to climb back up again.

Your husband will be more stressed if you end up as an inpatient in a psychiatric unit and you really do need to share this with him. He already knows there is something wrong because we all know when our partner is hiding something from us and their behaviour gives it away. Give him some credit, this person loves you.

I have been there, got the T shirt and like you I thought that I could soldier on and things would improve. I went to work and was, at the same time, suing my employers for negligence. I was lucky to have good union representation and they sorted things out for me. Do you have union representation? I know our situations are not the same but stress is stress, however you dress it up. It does not make you weak to admit it as the alternative is not good. It won't go away but fester until it eventually surfaces. (anger, self loathing, suicidal thoughts).

Be guided by all the advice here and get that Dr's appointment asap.

Let us know how you are feeling, we are here to help and let us know of any progress.

(((((more hugs))))).

Catherine.
 
First of all, I want to say thank you ALL so much for your kind words, support and understanding. It occurred to me this morning, after a particularly stressful night, that if I want some TLC this would be the place to come, and I was right!

What really niggles me is that I have some other difficult groups that I working with extremely successfully, and also some more advanced levels who are doing extremely well, and without wishing to sound boastful, my success rates have been consistently high! Unfortunately, this all goes unremarked upon, no credit there - but when something goes wrong the powers that be are so quick to point it out! I have talked with colleagues who say the same thing, also that this is a difficult year, not just in our school but across the College. Pressure is on because OFSTED are due to come in, and all they care about is retentions and achievements, so their words of zero bad behaviour tolerance mean nothing, the students know this, and those who wish to cause trouble go all out to do so, saying and acting just how they please! Refusing to work, coming to lessons as and when they feel like it, or in some cases hardly ever, now exams are due they are shouting that they have not been taught anything, the good students have voiced opinions that is not true, but no one seems to listen to them!

With regard to losing my job, I am worried they will say I am not coping, which with regard to the lesson that fell apart this last week would appear to be so, nevertheless, I went back next day to work very successfully with other groups, does this count? It would seem not!

I do not want to 'ditch out', feeling that I should go back and prove to all, myself included, that I can cope, but I really feel that support for all of us has been lacking, and to be denigrated over something that, and I have given this much consideration, that really was not of my doing, is so overwhelming it is making me feel literally ill, sick in my stomach, cold sweats and a feeling of being trapped with no escape route... I feel as if someone has put me in a vice and is turning the screw tighter and tighter.

I am going to see my GP and I will contact the work's help line, I am not in a Union - and do not wish to rock the boat too much as that is what happened with the new lecturer who was suspended whilst on probation, pointing out so many things that were wrong, like the lack of desks and work space in the staff room, it has been horrendous and there is no denying it.

I will keep you informed of progress, though I feel facing up to this is almost as difficult as trying to carry on... yet I know in my heart that doing so is making me physically, if not mentally ill!

Thanks again you wonderful people :wink:
 
The worst part is facing up to the fact YOU have a problem, that's when it does get harder. It's a challenge, something you have to face.

This here was your first step, getting help and advice. I told you the good people on here wouldn't let you down. Yet again they have shown what a wonderful bunch they are.

You will have to make decisions which may affect everything in your life. Use the support from everywhere, that makes things so much easier. Try and switch off from work stuff, put it to the back of your mind. the more you focus on work issues at the moment the more difficult things will get for you.

Forget about ALL work issues, NOW. They are not doing you any good at all. They can be dealt with later when you are more your strong self, feeling better.

Ken
 
Ken, your words are reaching home, I understand the logic and intend to follow through, I will keep you all posted of outcomes :!:

Sometimes I am my hardest task master LOL
 
thank you, that cat looks how I feel!
 
This is the post I put on your other thread (re early retirement).
So this is a quote, basically!

'Do you know what, reading your post is like reading my OWN thoughts and problems. It is scaringly similar.

However, I appreciate and understand that you may not be THAT similar to me money-wise or employment wise, so I'll just tell you my management/coping strategy.

With painful rheumatoid arthritis I continued to commute into Central London until the end of 2003 when my then employers offered voluntary redundancy. I snatched their hands off, took it, then started another job, again in London (stoopid me), and after 2 years begged for part time. I decreased work by a day. After the tube strikes I realised I just could.not.go.on!! I was dragging myself to work each day. I was stressed, my feet were burning (but I eventually got the good medication for it, even though it makes me drowsy the next morning). Things were made worse when I asked my doctor if I could apply for retirement on health grounds. Her reply? 'You don't fit the criteria. We can always manage the pain'.

To say I was gutted and disappointed was an under-statement. (My Mum begs me constantly to do this.)

So. I resigned from that job in Central London and vowed, for the sake of my health, and sanity, to take on another job nearer home, and with less hours. I now work for a local NHS doing Bank admin work, and can more or less dictate my own hours. Yes I have savings and a tiny pension from my old job (but the pension went against me when I tried to sign on at the Jobcentre some years ago. It stopped me getting JSA, would you believe???), and my pay now is less than £8 an hour. Unfortunately, I don't get a Govt. pension for another 5.5 years.

I also get tinnitus...and that is a good point you make about connection with diabetes! I was diagnosed T2 just 2 months ago. My Mum STILL insists I could get disability benefits. But I am not sure, so I carry on working. But my health has improved sooo much by cutting down the hours. Do you know what? I barely feel the arthritis pains now, because now I drive to work. Just 15-20 minutes and I'm there. Bliss!

Please, take the advice and go on sick leave. Claim stress/depression/fatigue. And I'm pretty sure you don't even have to milk it...you sound quite ill and surely your GP will acknowledge this? However long they give you, just keep extending it, providing you get full money. Or half, whatever your sick pay policy is. Then bring up the subject of medically retiring.

Give it a go. Good luck, and let us know how you are and how things are working out.
(Sorry for waffling on! But I thought I'd give you my experience of benefitting from reduced working hours.)
Janet'
 
I forgot to mention that I also have high BP and high cholesterol, and psoriasis, so sometimes I'm in a right state!!
Still, I try to stay cheerful. :lol:

Hope all goes well with you.
Janet
 
Hi Janet,

How sweet of you to reply and give advice, I am soooooo tempted to do as you say, really finding it hard going. Although in the light of what you are going, or have been through - I feel somewhat shame faced You seem to have struggled for so long, but I am really suffering stresswise, lot of it to with work and the onerous task of taking a Uni Course along with all the lesson planning, marking (not to mention stress from the actual job), and now told that I need to get a Maths qualification at the same time! Do I look like Wonder Woman? I do not teach Maths, nor do I intend to as I have always hated it, hence never took Maths GCE! I have been teaching for around 12 years, and training, and now to work another couple of years or less I HAVE to get all these qualifications.

It seems every turns to me for advice, and I am expected to be the strong one with the answers, I feel like I am a merry-go-round and it is going faster and faster and I cannot get off!

I am so sorry to see how you have struggled so hard, you are very courageous. I will keep you informed of what I do via this page.

Take care. :wink:
 
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